Slughorn's Sanitarium for Troubled Boys
by MelloPie
Summary: AU - Rated M for later chapters.  Sirius is sent to a mental institution after the ultimate prank on his parents fails. Here he meets Remus, a strange boy accused of murder. Can Sirius solve the mystery and save Lupin's life? And will Remus let him?
1. Chapter 1

My first attempt at writing in the past 3 year. Reviews and comments would be very helpful as I get back into the habit of writing.

All rights to all characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

SLUGHORN'S SANITARIUM FOR TROUBLED BOYS

As the car pulled into the circle drive Sirius found himself smiling derisively, amused that even the nut-house he was being locked away in was top-notch. His mother's taste for the expensive apparently extended to prisons. The building was massive and had obviously been standing on these grounds for many generations, and while Sirius could see where renovation work had been done, the bricks in a few places obviously brighter than the surrounding stones, it still had an ancient and majestic feel to it. Behind the main building, toward the left he could see a steeple peaking over the ornately tiled roof. He was not surprised that his mother had chosen a loony-bin that held service regularly.

When he finally glanced at his mother he caught her glaring from where she sat across from him, swaying slightly as the driver followed the long arc of the drive. Sirius couldn't help but smile at her poor mood.

"Good thing dad didn't need the limo today. It would have been terrible if we'd made the wrong impression on the asylum workers." he jeered, and then grinned more when her gloved hands audibly tightened around the strap of her purse.

"For the last time _dear_," she ground the endearment through her teeth, "This is not an asylum. It is a boarding school."

"Which is why it's called a 'Sanitarium,' right? I mean, I don't know where the confusion comes from. But we wouldn't want any of your friends thinking I'm a nutter or anything, so we'll stick with 'boarding school' if that's what you like.." he said dully as the car jerked slightly to a stop.

"For the love of God, Sirius, just keep your mouth shut until I'm gone."

As she finished speaking the door between them opened and the driver assisted her as she climbed gracefully from the car. Sirius wasn't surprised that his mother was impatient to be rid of him. Were their situation different, she would probably have cast him aside long ago, but they needed him to keep the Black name going, and he wasn't terribly keen to see how far they would go to make sure that happened. After a slight pause he followed behind her as the driver moved to retrieve the luggage.

"Ah! You must be Walburga Black."

Sirius looked away from the driver when he heard a man's boisterous voice. He saw a portly man in a blue suit hurrying toward his mother, his hand already extended to shake hers, which he did a might too roughly. Walburga's slight frame shook from the force of it, though her well practiced smile withstood the onslaught, though Sirius could hear the well masked irritation in her voice as she replied.

"Yes, you must be Mr. Slughorn. What a beautiful institution you have here." She said cordially.

"Why thank you!" Slughorn beamed at the compliment. "We really do try to provide the best of the best here while our wards get well. And let me say again what a delight it was speaking with you on the telephone."

As he reached for her hand again Walburga masterfully side stepped his advance, waving her tastefully gloved hand toward Sirius instead.

"This is my son, Sirius. I spoke with you about him on the phone."

"Oh! Yes, of course!" he said as he teetered over to Sirius, giving his hand a violent shake and his shoulder an almost painful clap. "I know you'll enjoy your time here. And you'll be right as rain in no time."

Sirius wasn't sure what to say to this man. He hoped that this wasn't how he treated people with _real _mental issues. He hoped that this man was merely the wallet, and the brains were inside the building somewhere. By now Slughorn and Walburga Black were making their way into the building and as even the driver passed him with his luggage he finally decided to follow them inside.

Nearly and hour later Slughorn had them both sitting in his richly decorated office, Sirius slumped in one chair and his mother so tired of listening to him that she'd even stopped pestering Sirius to sit up straight. She had tried many times to excuse herself but was having little luck, finally she leapt at an opening when Slughorn stood, saying that he should give them a tour.

"I am desperately sorry, Mr. Slughorn, but I am afraid that I simply cannot stay. I have very important business to attend to. I am sure that my son can tell me all about your facilities in his letters home, though." She tried to get Sirius to stand, but ended up having to practically drag his long frame out of the chair.

She then began to put on a wonderfully maternal show for Slughorn, straightening the shirt that Sirius was wearing, looking concerned as she spoke quietly, though her words, that only Sirius could hear, did not match her expression.

"You can come home as soon as you come to your senses. You should be glad that your brother is dead, or I'd leave you hear to rot for the rest of your life." She said as she stooped so low as to lick her now ungloved thumb and pretend to clean a smudge from his cheek. "But since we lost the better of our children, we're left to count on you to fulfill your duty to the family. You will do as the family wishes. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can leave this place."

As she finished speaking she pulled him down so she could reach his cheek to kiss it lightly, then pinched his other cheek briefly before faking a wonderfully believable teary-look, bringing her gloves to her mouth as though to keep from crying as she looked over at Slughorn who nodded sympathetically at her, then she was gone.

Slughorn made his way over to Sirius as he wiped his mother's kiss from his cheek. He patted him comfortingly on his shoulder before leading him out of his office to start the tour. His bags were left behind to be brought up by the staff, though Sirius knew that every bag would be searched for items that may be harmful to himself or to others. The halls were quiet as he was lead around, due to classes being in session according to Slughorn. He was shown the dining hall, the recreation room, and the chapel, though he was told that the tour of the grounds would have to wait, as he hated to sweat in his good suit. He was then brought to his room where his luggage had already been delivered.

The room was small, but tidy. There were two twin beds, headboards against the far wall, a curtained window between them. At the foot of each bed against opposite walls were matching dressers, followed by desks. There were two small closets and a shared bathroom.

"Oh! Nearly forgot." Slughorn was suddenly trying to detach a key from his master key ring. "We find that having a key gives our residents a feeling of security and independence, so this is yours." He said as he handed it over. "Of course staff will have a master key to access your room. You know, emergencies and routine check-ups. That sort of thing."

Sirius just nodded as he took the key.

"You'll be sharing the room with a boy your age. One Remus Lupin." Slughorn looked like he was fighting the urge to bounce on the balls of his feet, fiddling with the keys in his hand now.

"Has he not arrived yet?" Sirius asked as he noted that the two sides of the room were identically void of any kind of personalization.

"Don't be silly, my boy. Remus has been a resident here for, er… several years now." He was still smiling, though a very light sheen of sweat had begun to cover his forehead, making him seem a little nervous.

"Are we not allowed to decorate then?" Sirius asked, one elegant brow arching at his suddenly strange behavior.

"Oh, of course you are!" Slughorn smiled brightly, seeming pleased for the change of subject. "You can put up anything that your parents send you, as long as it meets regulations of course. And we do make trips into town every so often, so you can get things to decorate from shops there as well." He hurried over to the window, pulling the curtain back to reveal a rather nice view of the fütbol pitch.

Sirius ran a hand through his unruly mane as he made his way to the window as well, admiring the pitch, though his mind lingered on his mysterious roommate. What kind of teenaged boy would live in a drab little room like this for so long without leaving any kind of sign. As though Slughorn could sense the rapid approach of questions, he turned on his heels and made his way back to the door.

"Well, I'll leave you to unpack." He checked his watch. "Classes should be out shortly. Feel free to explore if you'd like. Supper's at seven and we'll have a time for your entry meeting with our therapist probably tomorrow morning. You'll get your class schedule and all that then." He was talking so fast now that Sirius was surprised he didn't stumble over his words.

Before Sirius could ask any other questions, Slughorn had said his goodbyes and was gone. The room seemed even emptier now that it was silent. Sirius looked back out the window for a moment before moving to inspecting the bathroom, which was nothing special. In the shower he found some shampoo and other products and on the counter by the sink there was a toothbrush and paste; the only signs that this Lupin boy actually existed. It was only through a great show of self control that he was able to keep from taking the room apart looking for more of his belongings.

Growing up privileged and easily bored, Sirius had often taken to snooping around his own home, the estate so large that there were probably still rooms he'd never been in, even at seventeen. He found that causing trouble for his parents by finding brothel receipts, liposuction bills, and small pouches of suspicious powder amused him enough to keep him from leaping off one of the many balconies. Infuriating his family members had quickly become his favorite pass time. He knew that he would eventually discover all of the secrets that this boy had. Uncovering secrets was a natural talent of his.

To keep himself from snooping he turned to his second favorite hobby. Admiring himself in the mirror. Sirius had begun to sprout upward when he was thirteen, and by the time he was fifteen he was quite tall, though one may have thought someone had stretched him out on some horrible contraption. He had stayed awkward and spindly for much longer than he had wanted, but over the past year and a half he'd finally filled out, with the help of some regular exercise and fütbol, though the latter was hard to participate in when his family thought it was a barbarous sport. But he had developed the body of a grown man now and was pleased and openly impressed by it. As evil as his family members was, most weren't lacking in the looks department.

His parents, while annoyed by his preoccupation with his appearance, could not deny that they appreciated his ornamental appeal, raking in the compliments they were paid on the rare occasion they took Sirius with them to one of their soirees. It was the only thing that threatened his appreciation of his own good looks: his parents' unabashed claim of responsibility for them. He'd thought on many occasions that it would be unbelievably funny if he were homely. He would enjoy watching them suffer over it. After a few more minutes of self admiration and a few pull-ups done on the door frame to the bathroom, missing the shouts of disgust from his mother as he did so, he began to unpack his belongings.

He was buried deep in his closet when he finally heard a key in the door, and he felt an uncharacteristic wave of nerves wash over him. Leaning back he caught a glimpse of the boy before he was detected. He was tall, probably as tall as Sirius was, but still seemed a bit gangly for his age, though as the boy moved to pull his key from the door, Sirius got the impression that he simply had a narrow frame. Releasing the door to let it swing shut Lupin brought a hand up to push his gently curling bangs off his forehead and out of his eyes, seeming casual until he caught site of the luggage. He stopped, hand still in his hair, then he heard a small noise from the closet, his amber eyes darting immediately to lock onto Sirius.

Sirius was caught off guard by the power with which Remus had in his eyes. His impression of Lupin so far was that he was average as far as looks were concerned, but his eyes made him change his opinion. Usually Sirius found brown eyes to be extremely dull, though even from the distance they were at he could see a gold colored light shining through them and Sirius thought that they might even show through the dark. His hair was only a few shades darker than his eyes and long enough that small wisps of curls brushed his cheekbones. His face was like stone though, his expression unreadable, the only real acknowledgement being a slight twitch of one eyebrow.

Sirius, suddenly realizing that he was staring uncharacteristically, so he raised a hand and flashed a smile that usually had girls blushing, and anyone else grinning back. He'd been told that he has an infectious smile.

"Lupin, right? Sorry if I gave you a bit of a fright." He chuckled amiably as he spoke.

"Who are _you_?" Lupin suddenly asked, his voice as stony as his face.

"Uh…" Sirius was a little taken aback by his tone. "Sirius Black. Your new roommate?"

Remus continued to star at him, his incandescent eyes moving over him appraisingly for a few more moments before turning uncaringly away from him, going to sit down at his desk without a word, flipping one of his school books open.

_Hold the fuck up! _Sirius found himself thinking _Did he just give me the cold shoulder? Did he seriously just turn down a conversation with me to do fucking __**homework**__?_

Sirius felt his ego boot him out of the closet in a bit of a hurry that he smoothly covered up with a bit of grace. He'd always prided himself on his ability to have a good conversation with anyone, and he really did mean anyone. He'd even stooped so low as to flirt with some of the eighty year old women at his mother's last soiree to keep them from ignoring him. He hated being ignored. In a desperate attempt to be conversational and put forth a good impression Sirius found himself blurting out the first thing on his mind.

"So I had a hell of a time sorting out which side of the room was mine. Why haven't you put up any posters or anything?"

"Don't talk to me." Was the answer that Remus had for him, though it was said casually without any sort of anger or disdain behind it.

"Excuse me?" Sirius asked, not as good at covering up his emotions, the insult clear in his tone.

"Just because you're so wrapped up in yourself that you need people fawning over you doesn't mean that everyone wants to listen to you." Remus replied tranquilly, not looking up from his page where he was writing down some notes.

"_Excuse _me?" Sirius repeated indignantly. "Who the hell do you think you a-"

"Don't waste your breath. I really don't care what you have to say. And I wouldn't bother unpacking any more than you already have. As soon as I'm done with this I'm going to go have you moved to a different room." Though he interrupted Sirius, his voice never rose above a conversational tone. "I like the way my room is, and I don't want you in here messing things up."

Sirius was rarely speechless, but other than profanity he couldn't think of anything else to say. Instead, he grabbed his suitcase and violently shook every piece of clothing that had been in it onto his bed , then for good measure he pulled the sheets out from where they were neatly tucked under the mattress and tossed his pillows around a bit, making sure his side of the room looked thoroughly debauched, ignoring how foolish he seemed. He briefly considered hauling a few buckets up dirt up from the grounds, imagining Lupin's face twisting in fury as he finds a pile of dirt on his precious desk, or maybe even his bed.

Sirius was brought out of his evil fantasies sooner than he would have liked by the scraping of Lupin's chair as he stood, stowing his book gently in a desk drawer.

"You shouldn't be so upset." He said in his calm, slightly robotic voice. "If anything I'll be doing you a favor. Staying here with me would only drive you to try and kill yourself again."

"What makes you think I'm here for attempted suicide?" Sirius asked cheekily, ignoring for the moment that it was exactly why he'd been sent there.

Remus turned his eyes on him again and Sirius found himself a little confused. He felt as though he were receiving two different messages from his roommate. While his mouth was spouting insults and threats, his eyes were saying something different, something far gentler, though just before his attitude about him could be shaken he heard that automated tone again.

"Only selfish people kill themselves." He said coolly before slipping out of the room, while Sirius was too dumbfounded to get a word in before he was gone.

After a moment of mental silence Sirius found himself screaming inside his head.

_What the fuck is his problem! He just met me and already he's acting like he knows me and my issues? How dare he!_

In what could only be called a temper tantrum Sirius suddenly jumped over onto Lupin's bed, yanking all the covers off and making a mess of it the way he'd defiled his own bed. Sirius had grown accustomed to the annoyance that people showed him in response to most of his actions. The calm insults that he received from his roommate left him feeling confused and unsure about how he should handle himself. But one thing was certain, he was going to get under this boy's skin. He would find some way to make his cool demeanor break.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes:

I want to thank everyone who left reviews! It was so wonderful to hear that people are enjoying this story. It was really the confidence booster that I needed to motivate me to continue!

I will be trying to post regularly, and my chapters will be less like chapters and more "What I was able to get done in one sitting." I figure that it will be nicer to have shorter updates more regularly, than having to wait forever for a long update.

Anyway! On with the story. Let me know how my chapters hold up to previous ones!

Sirius waited around his room for several hours, hoping that Remus would come back so that he could lay into him with all of the great come-backs that he'd not been able to muster on the spot., but when dinner rolled around his stomach told him to give it up. He wasn't too concerned about going to dinner alone, as he was usually quick to make friends, despite his record thus far. And while his exchange with Lupin had left him feeling a little shaken he was glad to find that not everyone was as hard to deal with as he had been. While some of the boys were very clearly tormented by some unknown affliction, most seemed like normal boys in a boarding school. It quite reminded him of the boarding school he'd attended before his brother's untimely death. His parents had been so proficient at keeping Sirius out of the way that many people thought that the Black family had only one heir. He remembered at his brother's funeral how many guests were shocked when they learned that Regulus had a brother. Sirius had become talented at adapting to whatever environment his parents threw him into.

Being so well adapted, Sirius found himself sitting at a table with two boys that he'd met in line while they were all fed and pilled like cattle. He'd been approached, one might even call it head-hunted, by a boy with short wild hair who had told him, more than asked him, to join the futbol team. He'd introduced himself as James, and Sirius immediately took to him. The friend that James had following along, Peter, was less impressive to Sirius, though he saw no immediate reason to dislike him. Once settled at a table James began to give Sirius the quick-and-dirty on the 'school' and it's residents.

"…so then classes were canceled for the rest of the day because they couldn't get the horrible smell out of the hallways." James barked with laughter, even while he still had food in his mouth.

Sirius was laughing as well, though his face was twisted in disgust at the detail James had included in his story. James was trying to explain the difference between the "misunderstood" residents and the "truly crazy" residents, as he'd put it. Sirius was starting to think he had a point.

"You should tell him about Marcus." Peter prompted excitedly.

"Mary Marcus!" James hooted with laughter again. "You might want to think about cutting your hair a bit shorter, Sirius! This kid, Marcus, goes nuts if he sees men with long hair. Says they're evil women in disguise out to get 'im!" James paused to swallow around his laughing to keep from choking. "Apparently his mum off-ed his dad and then dressed him as a little girl. Took police 5 years to catch her. That poor kid's never gonna be level again." Even though he was lamenting Marcus' sanity, he did it with another hoot of laughter.

"They say that he's so afraid of women now, that he's turned into a shirt lifter." Peter cackled a little.

"We both know there's more than just him around here." James countered.

Sirius just smiled to himself, amused by their "who's gay" gossip that followed. He'd never considered himself gay, but that certainly didn't mean he'd not dabbled. His first homosexual experience was part of a fantastic stab at his parents' sense of propriety. He knew that they would be appalled to find out their son had been balls deep in another man, and promptly gave them the opportunity to catch him doing just that. He grinned wider to himself as he remembered his mother's look of horror and his father's dry heave. It had been beautiful. While that first time had been specifically to infuriate his parents, he'd decided that being with another man could be quite appetizing, and didn't mind going back to his all boys boarding school afterward. He'd always found it funny, that as punishment for sleeping with another boy he'd been sent to an all boys school.

"Well there's Lupin too." Peter added to their list of names.

Sirius's thoughts were brought back to the conversation as he heard the familiar voice.

"Shut it, Pete. That's not a story for someone's first day." James said, suddenly not seeming as amused.

"Wait a second. _Remus _Luping?" Sirius asked looking between them as their eyes bugged out a little.

"How do you know Lupin?" James asked, seeming very serious now.

"The wanker's my roommate." Sirius scowled, remembering the annoying way he'd spoken to him a few hours before.

"You're joking!" Peter spit out, turning to look at James. "I didn't think he was gonna get another one!"

"I said _shut _it, Pete!" James snapped, then looked back at Sirius, hazel eyes rigid. "Have you spoken to him yet? What do you know about him?"

"Just that he's a complete knob, horrible with conversation, and on a mission as we speak to get me moved out of his precious, tidy, _boring _room." Sirius said with a trademark quark of his beautifully arched brow.

James and Peter exchanged glances a second, then looked back at him.

"Take the opportunity to move out." James said firmly.

"Definitely." Peter agreed.

"Why? He just seems like a stuck up brat to me. I can handle a bit of bad attitude. I actually have one of the best bad attitudes around. He won't know what to do with me." Sirius grinned, expecting them all to fall into laughter again, though James and Peter just exchanged meaningful glances again before looking back at Sirius.

"It'd probably be best if you just move rooms." James said solemnly.

"Alright." Sirius finally huffed, "Just what is supposed to be bad about this guy?"

James and Peter looked at each other again, as they tried to decide silently whether to divulge any more.

"Out with it!" Sirius raised his voice a little, though he was more annoyed by their behavior than angry.

"Well… it's just that we don't normally tell people this right off." James said slowly. "It tends to freak people out." Peter agreed.

"Do I look like I'm going to be bothered?" Sirius asked, scowling a little.

"Fine." James finally said with a sigh. "It's kind of a long story, but we'll give you the quick version."

Peter looked up and down the aisle that they sat on and then scooted forward as James did, who had dropped the volume of his voice, as though to keep people from hearing their conversation.

"Lupin murdered his last roommate." James said heavily, then paused, as though expecting a reaction that Sirius would need time to recover from.

"…" Sirius stared at him a second, then said in an overly calm voice, "I appreciate your shortened version… but maybe you should tell me a slightly longer version. Perhaps a version that actually explains something?"

James rolled his eyes some, as though annoyed that it wasn't just obvious that what he was saying was true.

"Look, about two years ago we had this new guy come in. Jona. He ended up being a good friend of mine, actually." James said, as though suggesting that this gave his story more credibility and that Sirius should believe him so as not to insult him. "He was roommates with Lupin. He was the only guy I'd ever seen who'd actually become friends with him. I mean, Lupin's always been a shut in, right? Even before he became a murdering psychopath." He exchanged looks with Peter again. "Well, the next thing we know, Jona's found in the halls dead. Arrow right between his eyes." He pressed a finger between his own brows.

There was another pregnant pause as Sirius waited for them to continue. When they didn't, he sat up straighter.

"Well, I think that's pretty hard evidence…" He paused, "That you two suck at telling stories."

"What?" Peter asked, seeming shocked.

"That story was shit! It doesn't explain anything. A) What makes you so sure that it was Remus who'd done it, and B) why would he have done it if they were friends?" He counted the two points on his long, elegant fingers and tried not to laugh when he caught Peter looking at them like he wanted to do horrible things to them.

"Well _A)_" James said, mocking Sirius' finger counting, "Everyone knows that Lupin is at the top of the archery club and the only one who could have made such a wicked shot, and _B) _did you forget about the gay thing? Clearly he'd gotten the hots for Jona, and when he was turned down, flipped shit and killed him."

"We have an archery club?" Sirius suddenly asked, seeming surprised.

James opened his mouth to argue again, but then his non sequitur caught up with him.

"A school full of nut-jobs and suicidal teens… has an archery club." Sirius said more slowly, letting the irony and stupidity of the thought sink in, and before long all three of the boys had broken down into laughter again

Sirius was satisfied to find that the room was still trashed when he returned after dinner. After their fit of laughter had been done they continued to argue about whether or not there was enough evidence to support the that Remus was a murderous, jilted lover, or whether James and Peter were full of shit. They never did reach a consensus, though Sirius still leaned toward the latter.

While the thought was interesting, Sirius had a hard time imagining Lupin as a murderer. He still struck him as merely a spoiled kid who was used to getting his way. Sirius chose to ignore the irony of his thinking this about someone else. It was tantalizing though, adding yet another layer of information to egg on Sirius' urge to snoop into his things and into his life. He loved to know secrets, and he was starting to think that this boy had a few good ones just waiting to be uncovered. Whether or not he was actually gay was a good place to start.

Sirius was lounging on his messy bed, face in a music magazine when he heard the door open. He decided that he should just play it cool and ignore him for a while, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of his attention, though that only lasted until he heard the door click shut, then he peeked over his magazine at him.

Remus' face was still mostly passive, though his brows were knit just a little, making him look frustrated, though It was a subtle expression. What caught Sirius' attention, though, was that he was looking anywhere, but at Sirius. Sirius grinned when he realized something.

"They wouldn't move me, would they?" He asked, grinning cheekily.

"Don't speak to me." Lupin said evenly, though Sirius could hear a small twinge of anger behind it.

"I'll take that as a 'no'" he said around a chuckle.

He felt a flip of excitement in his stomach when he saw his brows come together further. The thrill he felt surprised him for a second. It was exhilarating to see that little break in Remus' well constructed barrier, and he shocked him to realize that the thrill was almost sexual. It was like the feeling of excitement when you finally get to see or feel or taste some part of a lover's body that you'd been working so hard for. That little quark of his brow was his reward and he found himself gnawing on his lip around a lewd grin. He liked this game.

He found himself watching Lupin almost predatorily as he moved over and started calmly making his bed again.

"What's wrong? No one for you to cry to who can get me out of your hair. Awww, poor Remi-pie." He teased in baby talk and felt another jolt of pleasure as he saw the curve of his jaw that was showing through his gentle curls tighten as he clenched his teeth.

Sirius suddenly realized how to win this game and he barely kept himself from releasing a clichéd, villainous laugh.

"You know," He began conversationally, sitting up and crossing his legs so he's facing Lupin's back, tilting his head to admire his surprisingly attractive ass, "I think we had a bad start. We should be friends."

Sirius thought that he might come in his pants as he saw the look of rage that flashed briefly across Lupin's face as he spun around to look at him.

"Excuse me?" Remus ground out through his teeth, something Sirius was used to his mother doing, but somehow gave him a wholly different feeling when Remus did it.

"Yeah." Sirius said casually, pretending to not notice his anger. "I mean, we're going to be living together, spending all kinds of time together, sharing stories late at night while we wait to fall asleep. We should be friends."

Sirius wasn't sure why he enjoyed angering people so much, or why angering this boy in particular seemed to bring him an almost erotic pleasure, but he was beside himself as he saw Remus take a very deep, slow breath, his too-long lashes fluttering as he tried to compose himself.

"You will not be staying here. And we will _not _be friends." He said quietly, though Sirius thought he heard a slight tremor in his voice.

"Why not?" Sirius asked, feigning ignorance and pulling a perfectly practiced expression of disappointment.

"Clearly you've not heard anything about me." Remus muttered, more to himself than to Sirius as he turned back to fixing his bed.

"I heard that you killed your last roommate." Sirius said nonchalantly.

He was rewarded with another whip-around look of shock.

"Is that right?" Remus asked, trying less hard to cover his anger this time.

"Mm." Sirius nodded once, giving him a small smile as he tried to keep himself from shuddering at the power of emotion coming off the other boy.

"Well then maybe you should take the stories a little more seriously before I kill you next." Remus drug the words along his teeth, sending another shiver through Sirius without realizing it.

"Oh my," Sirius fluttered his eyes flirtatiously, "Is that a confession?" he asked, as though he were asking something naughty.

"What if it is?" Remus threatened, obviously thinking that he was being intimidating.

"Well then I would ask if you killed him because he'd refused to suck your cock."

He had been waiting for this moment. He wanted to see pure, unadulterated fury on Lupin's face, and thought that if it was as wonderful as he'd imagined, he might just have to touch himself. What he saw instead was a sudden surge of another emotion cross his features. A deep hurt flashed across his golden eyes and the glowing light behind them that Sirius had rather admired suddenly went out, leaving them dull, plain, and just brown. Sirius felt a cold spear shoot through him, all pleasure he'd gotten from this game gone, then he felt his own pain and realized a little too late that it had come from Remus' fist smashing against his aristocratic cheekbone.

Sirius took the blow without retaliation, falling back onto his elbows as he watched Lupin storm out of the room, not seeming to realize or care that curfew had already been called.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

**WANT TO HELP ME MAKE AN IMPORTANT DECISION FOR THIS STORY! **

**Check out my poll and give me a hand! You can find it by clicking on my user name!**

**Again, thank you to everyone who left reviews on my last chapter. I'm excited every time I see that I have a new one! If you are leaving a review and have an account, please sign in before leaving it so that I can send a message back. I really love responding to my readers and getting feedback from them. **

**I also suppose that I should start listing warnings at the beginning of my chapters now, as Sirius' naughty little mind ran away with him a bit in the last chapter. Really, its hard to control that boy. **

**WARNINGS: Adult language, themes, and situations. Please follow the age guidelines attached to M rating on the site. **

* * *

><p>Sirius lay in bed that night, his cheek pounding and his mind racing. It was strange that he was thinking on it at all, really. In the past, hurting peoples' feelings usually gave him the same thrill that infuriating them did.<p>

_I was just caught off guard is all. _He told himself, not wanting to admit that he might have been feeling remorse.

He tried to lay up long enough to have a talk with Remus when he got back, telling himself that he would inform Remus that he shouldn't be such a sensitive twat, though the thought that something resembling an apology might have accidentally slipped him if he gave him that look again. It was the fear of such an apology that kept Sirius from fighting hard enough to stay awake, and he eventually dozed off somewhere around one in the morning.

* * *

><p>Sirius found himself standing in front of his brother's open casket again, staring down at his too-young face. Unlike at his funeral, the sanctuary was empty now, and while it was too dark for Sirius to see the walls of the church, he could see the stained glass windows that towered over him in every direction, their light shining down on him in dozens of shattered colors. He wanted to grab Regulus and shake him so hard his life would be forced back into his body. He wanted to shout at him, demand why he had to leave, why he had to leave him there with their parents. Sirius had never blamed Regulus for being the golden child. It was a title that he never wanted for himself, and that Regulus seemed to manage better than he ever could.<p>

Tears stung his eyes in a way that suggested this was no dream. His stomach twisted and ached and his head hurt from the sheer force of his sorrow. He took the last few steps up to his casket and reached down to touch his little brother's cheek, his heart stopping and a scream catching in his throat as a pale hand flew up to catch his wrist in a blur. Regulus stared at him from his casket, soft, dark dirt beginning to bubble up around him, as though it were being pumped into the casket from underneath his body.

"Come with me, Sirius…" Regulus said quietly, the soil quickly filling the casket around him. "Mother and father wont find you here. You'll be free."

Sirius was gasping for air as he felt the cold sweat saturating his hair and clothes, realizing that he was unable to break his brother's grip. He looked around desperately and saw a sickly green light casting down from a glass window onto three people. His mother and father stood silently, each with a hand on the shoulder of a delicate, womanly figure all draped in white, a veil covering her face and flowers slowly raining from a bouquet that she held. As the white petals hit the ground they turned bloody red, a small rivulet snaking its way toward the still struggling Sirius.

"Come with me, Sirius." Regulus said again, drawing his attention in time to see the soil cover his face, and begin to spill out of the casket.

Sirius began struggling harder, shouting for someone to help him as his brothers arm started to draw him into the pile. He could feel the cool, moist sediments give so his arm could be drawn in, the deep earthy smell surrounding him as his whole body was swallowed up. He could taste dirt as he screamed before he was fully pulled under.

* * *

><p>Sirius found himself shaking and gasping in bed as his eyes opened, light shining in from a crack in the curtained window. He was cold and hot and numb all at once, and his sheet clung to his sweaty skin. Immediately he realized that he'd only been dreaming and heaved a sigh of relief, bringing a hand to his face to try and mop up the sweat. The fear he felt dissipated almost immediately, along with the details of his dream, and all he could think of was that his stomach was growling.<p>

Dragging himself out of bed he stumbled immediately to the shower, unable to function in the mornings without one. The water and the smell of soap helped erase the last bits of his dream, and he was humming to himself as he reentered the room some time later, one hand holding the towel around his waist. He stopped when he saw that Lupin's bed was no longer empty. Remus had apparently come into the room quietly enough to not bother Sirius, though he must have been tired, as he was laying on top of his blankets, still fully clothed, even his shoes still on.

Sirius approached the side of Lupin's bed, looking down at his sleeping face, thinking that he looked much better like this. Even though his face was still void of any emotion in particular, it was more relaxed than it usually was. He definitely looked better without that hurt look in his eyes. Sirius grinned a little to himself as he saw Remus's mouth twitch slightly in his sleep. Now that he had the chance to look at him properly, he was less average than Sirius had originally thought. He had good bone structure, a well shaped nose, and good skin with a natural tan, though since he was still in his jacket and pants it was hard for him to admire more than his face. Tilting his head, he saw a very faint white line that was wrapping its way over the bridge of his nose. A very old scar that Sirius had not noticed before.

He felt that bubbling urge in his stomach again that signaled his want to snoop and to investigate. He thought it was clear, though, that he would be unable to find the information that he wanted using the approach he had thus far, and so, telling himself that it was for the sake of learning his secrets, he decided that maybe he should try a gentler approach. Tucking his towel to keep it from falling he picked up the comforter that he'd pushed off his bed during his uneasy dreaming the night before. After pausing a moment, as though unsure if he should be so kind (after all, he may burst into flames if he's too nice), he draped the blanket over Lupin's sleeping form. He almost regretted his show of kindness, though, when he caught sight of his still bruised face in the foggy mirror.

* * *

><p>After dressing Sirius made his way to his first meeting with the school's therapist where he would get his entry evaluation and any prescriptions that he might need. The therapist, a woman by the name of Dr. Trelawney. Sirius was quite certain that she needed medication more than he did as she stared at him through her thick glasses, her eyes looking comically large and unblinking as she tried to read his every movement.<p>

"So tell me, Mr. Black, why is it that you…" She paused, as though for dramatic effect, "thought you should take your own life?"

Sirius found himself grinning a little. He always liked this part of therapy sessions, when his new shrink would ask him this particular question. Their reactions to his answers were always so fantastic.

"I thought it would be a really fantastic prank on my parents." He said with a sly smile.

Trelawney just stared at him through her unblinking, baseball sized eyes: not the reaction Sirius had hoped for.

"Surely there is some deep rooted trouble that you're having that led you to do such a thing. I understand that your brother died recently. How did that make you feel?" She pressed.

"I dunno." Sirius shrugged, "Annoyed that I had to take on his responsibilities since he'd quit the game."

Sirius regretted his use of the word game, as Trelawney spent the next hour and a half talking about the deeper meaning of using a word like 'game' to refer to life. Eventually, Sirius just began agreeing with her, claiming that he'd tried to kill himself due to the grief of losing his brother just to shut her up. She informed him that he would be taking several types of medication, though Sirius was not interested enough to listen to what they were or what they would do for him. He was just glad to be out of the stuffy room that had been filled with too much incense. Trelawney had claimed that the incense would help him to relax and open the doors that were blocking his deeper emotions.

* * *

><p>As Sirius made his way down for lunch, since he'd missed breakfast, he found his finger tracing the screw that he could still feel beneath his skin behind his ear. He'd been glad that the damage caused by his 'fall' had been dealt there and not to his face.<p>

"Hey Black!" James suddenly appeared beside him, slapping him hard on his shoulder. "Glad to see you made it through the nigh- fuck! What happened to your face?" He asked, turning him to get a better look.

"Oh, this?" Sirius asked, touching his nearly forgotten bruised cheek. "I asked Lupin if he killed Jona because he wouldn't suck his dick. So he punched me."

James looked like he may faint for a second before laughing energetically.

"God damn, Sirius. You really are out to die, aren't you?"

"Well, if self infliction wont work, maybe murder would be fun." He said with another grin.

"You're fucked up." James declared, though he was still smiling. "C'mon. lets get some food, then I'll take you down to find some gear for you. I've been wanting to get you on the pitch all day."

"Ooh, glad to know that you think about me so much. I know it's hard, but please fight the urge to touch yourself when I cross your mind." Sirius teased, eliciting another bark of laughter as they made their way into the dining hall.

As they ate, James explained that Saturdays were club days, and Peter was already off with his chess club. After a few minutes of merciless teasing that Peter wasn't around to counter, they finished their meal and made their way through the halls toward the locker room. Sirius had thought that the school was strangely void of staff. He had expected men in white coats on every corner to keep track of all of the loony boys they were supposed to be taking care of, but as they walked he realized why staff seemed so limited. He started to notice that there were cameras everywhere. At every corner of every hall there were cameras that swiveled around and watched them as they walked by.

"You get used to them after a while." James said when he saw Sirius looking at them. "They figure it's better than having people following us around. They're all about making us feel independent here. It's really not so bad. You kind of forget they're there sometimes."

Sirius just grunted a noncommittal response before changing the subject.

"So you said that you were friends with that Jona kid, right?" Sirius suddenly asked, as though he'd been thinking about it all morning.

"Huh? Oh, well yeah. We played ball together." James said, his voice a little more subdued now. "Why?"

"Well, I had just been thinking," Sirius began thoughtfully, "I know you said that Lupin probably killed him because he turned down his advances, but how do you know that he liked Jona like that at all?"

"You just had to see how Lupin looked at him. It was obvious the way he stared at him, all mushy eyed, like some girl. He didn't exactly try to hide it."

"Soooo…" Sirius continued, a little more cautious now, " How do you know they weren't lovers or something? I mean, maybe it wasn't one sided."

James looked over at him, almost looking personally insulted.

"You wouldn't even be asking that question if you'd known Jona. He was the best footy player I'd ever met. There wasn't a feminine bone in that guy's body. And you should have seen the pictures his ex girlfriend sent him sometimes." He grinned at the thought. "We had to swipe most of them from the mail room since they took them out during inspections, but that girl was raunchy. There's no way he'd go after some guy when he had something like that back home."

Sirius just rolled his eyes. It was clear that James had no idea how appealing another man's body could be, or the fact that you could crave it even after enjoying a woman. He chose not to pursue that particular argument, as he would never really understand it. Instead he grinned to himself, anticipating his reaction.

"So I think I'm going to be his friend." Sirius said, his eyes sliding over to James jus tin time to catch his mouth falling open.

"Whose? Lupin's?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah." He mused, putting his hands behind his head as James continued to dig for shin guards for him. "I figure it would be the best way to annoy him. I mean, imagine it. He's all wrapped up in this lone wolf, edgy, dangerous persona, and then here I come, wanting to be all palsy with him. He's not gonna know how to handle himself. It'll be hilarious."

"It'll be _dangerous._" James corrected, not bothering to look at him this time. "Though… it would be kind of interesting to see how he handles it."

"Well I don't care what you guys say, I still don't think that he's as dangerous as you think he is. It'll be fun proving it."

* * *

><p>Sirius was in desperate need of another shower as he made his way back up to his room. He and James had lost track of time on the pitch, and even after Peter showed up they left him sitting on the side lines for almost an hour just watching them. They hadn't talked much about Remus after that, though Sirius was reminded of his plans when he opened the door in time to see Remus angrily making his bed, Black's comforter in a crumpled wad on the floor on the far side of the room, looking suspiciously like someone had thrown it there. Sirius grinned as he imagined Remus throwing it in a fit of anger.<p>

"If you come near me while I'm sleeping again, I really will kill you." Remus said before Sirius had the chance to speak, though he didn't even look over at him.

Sirius just chuckled.

"You're welcome." He said as he pealed his sweaty shirt off his toned chest, feeling scandalized and thrilled when he saw a tiny flash of gold as Remus' eyes darted momentarily toward his exposed skin.

"Don't be shy. You can look if you want." Sirius flirted.

Remus did look at him then, though his eyes were narrowed and honed on Black's face, and not his body.

"You disgust me." He said bitingly, not hiding the insult.

"Oh?" Sirius asked, still smiling as he pealed his pants off next, leaving him in his rather tight boxer briefs.

He grinned as he was rewarded with a small downward dart of Remus' eyes before he turned his back on him again. He just laughed a little to himself before going to the shower. While there he went over what he knew and the options he had for the extrication of information he still needed.

_Well at least I proved part of the story. _Sirius thought to himself. _He's obviously interested in guys._

The way that Remus had glanced at him was unmistakable, but it wasn't enough to just know that Remus was likely gay. Being gay didn't mean that he was also a murderer. He knew that he would have to become friends with him if he was going to become privy to any more information. And that means he would have to do something he very… _very _rarely did.

"Look," He began, now out of the shower and in proper pants, "I'm sorry for what I said last night, alright" The apologetic word stuck to his tongue for a second before he was able to get it out. "It wasn't right of me, and I really was serious when I said we should be friends.

The anger that almost always showed in Remus' eyes when Sirius was around lightened just a little at the apology.

"I still don't want to be friends with you." He said after a moment, though his voice was a little less rigid.

"Come on," Sirius began, smiling temptingly at him. "Would it really be so bad to have me as a friend? When's the last time you had one?"

Sirius felt his stomach tense uncomfortably when he saw a ghost of the hurt he'd seen the night before flash through his eyes, the gold wavering, threatening to dull again.

"Jona was your last friend, wasn't he?" Sirius asked, his voice lower now, not sure why he'd adopted such a gentle tone.

Anger flashed in Lupin's eyes now as he glared up at Sirius.

"I don't want to be your friend." he restated more firmly this time, "And I don't want to hear you talking about something you know nothing about." In two long strides he had his finger jamming against Sirius' chest angrily. "And if you know what's good for you you'll stay away from me and keep your fucking mouth shut!"

Sirius felt that pleasant shiver run through his body as Remus showed him that beautiful anger again, and even his nipples peaked as he felt Remus' warm finger jab at his chest. He grinned in a way that would make most people quake with dread. He saw Remus' anger waver as he caught site of his expression, but before he could draw away Sirius had caught his wrist, pulling his hand flat up against his chest.

"Or what?" Sirius teased deeply. "Will you murder me?"

"Y-yes…" Remus betrayed himself when he stammered and Sirius could feel a small quaking in his arm where he was holding onto him.

"You don't scare me, Remus Lupin." Sirius said, nearly whispering as he leaned in closer to him, wanting to groan when he felt Remus subtly trying to put distance between them.

Remus opened his mouth to retort, but was clearly unable to do so.

"You better get used to me being around, because I'm very stubborn, and I'm going to find all of your secrets, Remus, whether you want me to or not. We can do this the easy way and be friends and I'll wait patiently for you to tell me… or we can do this the hard way and I can force all the answers out of you."

Remus seemed to panic suddenly, his free hand pulling back to slug him again, though Sirius caught him before he could, pulling him up flush against his body now to keep him from escaping. The angry sound that escaped Lupin's lips had a small twinge of fear and arousal in it, and Sirius saw his face flush just slightly

"Let go of me!" Remus demanded, shouting for real this time, and Sirius loved the raw emotion he saw there. It suited this honey colored boy far better than the stony façade he'd put up.

"Don't threaten me, Remus. If you tell me you're going to kill me, you better plan to follow through. I hate liars."

Sirius let Remus go, who was pulling back with enough force that he tumbled back onto his own bed, trying to catch his breath, his face looking like a scared animal that would lash out violently when cornered. Sirius turned and picked up his blanket from the floor. Before he was even standing up straight again he heard Lupin's foot steps and the door closing as he fled. Sirius chuckled and shook his head at his habit of running away.

_He's awfully skittish for a suspected murderer _he thought to himself before going over and finishing the clean up job that Remus had abandoned.

* * *

><p>Sirius didn't see Remus for the rest of the day, and wondered vaguely where he spent all of his time. He found himself laying awake in bed waiting on him to come back again, but this time he was still awake when he heard the soft turn of the key. He cracked his eyes open, but didn't move, not wanting Remus to know that he was up. He found himself grinning when Remus, rather thoughtfully, eased the door shut silently. Sirius was amused by how polite that was.<p>

He watched as Remus tip toed his way into the room, quietly opening his dresser drawer. He threw one more look in Black's direction before turning his back to his bed and pulling his shirt off to change. Sirius was amused by the show of modesty. In the dark he quietly took in his pleasantly narrow build, but found himself a bit shocked when he saw a word tattooed across his shoulder blades. It was too dark to make out what it said, but Sirius would not have pegged Remus as the type to have a tattoo. That prickling feeling of curiosity swirled around in his stomach again, pleased that this boy kept surprising him. He was distracted when he pulled his pants off after pulling on a long sleeve sleeping shirt.

_He really does have a nice ass. _Sirius thought as he watched him, and then he started noticing more tattoos on his legs, one even trailing in a diagonal line across his ass cheek. He still couldn't make out what they said, but he only just squelched the urge to flip the light on to get a proper look at them. Before he could decipher any of them, however, he'd pulled pants on. Sirius stayed silent as Remus slid silently between his sheets and turned over so his back was to Sirius. After a while all Sirius could hear was the gentle rise and fall of Lupin's breath.

_Tattoos… rumors of unrequited love… the murder of his only close friend…_Sirius found that the more clues he got, the more uncertainty he had about the situation. He had to do something to keep him from fleeing every time things got uncomfortable. He needed more time with him if he was going to get close enough to learn anything pertinent.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, So the idea of Trelawney being a shrink is one of the funniest things that has ever crossed my mind. When I decided that it would be her I actually laughed out loud at myself, eliciting some funny looks from my roommates. I just couldn't help myself!<strong>

**I have finally figured out how to add the page breaks. Please let me know if they help with the scene trasitions or if you think they are unnecessary or distracting.  
><strong>

**Please visit my poll, as it will affect my next chapter! I'd really love your help to make my decision!**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

**Sorry for all the trouble with the poll, I never could figure out what was wrong with it, but I was able to talk to a few readers in private and have decided what to do. Thanks to anyone who went looking for it, even if you couldn't find it. **

**Also, while constructive criticism is helpful, I also greatly appreciate comments that just tell me whether you're enjoying it. I love to know how my writing makes people feel and whether you're looking forward to the next installment. It's great motivation for me, and that's what has been driving my quick updates. **

**I have also enjoyed some of the guesses that people have made regarding what will happen next. It's really super feed back for me! **

**So as always, thank you thank you thank you to my readers and especially to my reviewers!**

**Now, on with the story!**

**WARNINGS: Adult language and mildly adult situations. **

* * *

><p>Sirius was startled awake the next morning by the booming of church bells that shook his walls. Rubbing his head he looked over to find Remus' bed empty and made. He was disappointed. He had been planning to try and get a look at his tattoos that morning while he was still sleeping.<p>

* * *

><p>"You look like shit." James said as Sirius half sat, half fell into the pew next to him.<p>

"Ugh. Didn't get my shower this morning…" He said gruffly.

Just as he'd been going into the bathroom he heard a pounding on his door and a shout that mass was starting in ten minutes. James just laughed at him before looking down at his sports mag, not caring that the priest was starting to call the service into order. Sirius considered bowing his head in "prayer" to get a few more minutes of sleep, but then he caught sight of Remus. He was sitting five or six rows ahead of him next to a man that Sirius guessed was a staff member or teacher. It was hard to get a good look at more than the back of his head, but he had wavy hair that was long enough to be tied back neatly and was sprinkled with a few graying strands. Sirius sat up straight as he finally saw the man turn his head, glad that he'd get a look at his profile, then he frowned as he watched the man lean in close to Remus, his forehead actually brushing against Lupin's soft looking curls to say something quietly into his ear. In profile he saw that the man was probably in his early 40s, a neat line of hair running along his jaw line and a very straight bridged nose that seemed to start between his brows. He was not the type Sirius found attractive, but was the definition of masculine, which he knew some people preferred. Sirius was shocked to see that Remus simply nodded sedately before they both turned back to the priest.

Sirius nudged James with his elbow and leaned close to him, asking in a whisper.

"Who's that bloke with Remus?" He asked, suddenly not feeling as tired.

"Huh?" James murmured, looking up and glancing around for a second until he saw them, then looked uncaringly back down at his magazine. "Oh, s'just Greyback. He's a teacher."

"Well I figured that. They seem close though. What's that about?" he pressed.

"I don't know?" James said incredulously, obviously not wanting to be interrupted from his magazine.

"They're close because he's the archery instructor." Said Peter, who Sirius had not seen come up to sit on his other side.

"Is that it?" Sirius asked.

"Well I think that Lupin also does therapy with him. It's why he's not usually at dinner." Peter said, obviously more interested in gossip than James was.

"Isn't it kinda weird though? That Remus seems fine with being around him and chatting it up with him, but wont have anything to do with any of the other students?" Sirius asked, ducking his head a little as one of the teachers shot him a glare for talking.

"I guess it kind of is…" Peter whispered after a second. "Greyback's a really cool guy though. All the students like him because he lets us get away with just about anything. Sometimes he even cancels his class all together just so we can go out when the weather's really nice" He seemed fond of him as well. "Honestly, I think they've always been close."

After another glare from several teachers, they both decided to save their conversation for later, though Sirius wasn't listening to the sermon at all, too focused on watching Remus and Greyback for the rest of the service. Mostly they sat still, seeming interested in what the priest had to say, though toward the end of the service Sirius saw Remus jump visibly in his seat and look over at Greyback who turned to him, smiling a little. He said something that made Remus sit up more rigidly, something that Sirius recognized as being his way of showing frustration, though Greyback seemed to just chuckle to himself.

When service was over Sirius pushed himself through the crowd, trying to catch up with Remus and Greyback, his gut telling him that their relationship was an important piece to his puzzle. When the crowd finally started to thin out, however, he realized he had lost track of them.

"Sirius!" Peter was panting as he caught up with him. "What was that about?"

Sirius opened his mouth to reply as James sauntered his way over to them, but realized he wasn't really sure what he'd been planning to do, so he just shook his head.

"Forget about it." he said dismissively. "We should go to the pitch." He suggested instead.

This got James' attention, making him grin happily, even while Peter huffed at them both

"I'll meet you guys later then. I don't feel like sitting around in the grass all day." He said as he waved his hand dismissively at them before walking off. .

James and Sirius started casually toward the locker rooms, James rambling along the way.

* * *

><p>"Slughorn has this stupid rule, that students who want to participate can't be turned down. I think he's afraid that the let down will tip some of them over the edge or something. It's a load of crap if you ask me, and if we keep on like this, I'll never be able to make a team that's worth shi-. Oh! Hey Mr. Greyback."<p>

Sirius felt his stomach lurch a little and looked up in time to see Greyback and Remus coming out of the locker rooms. His eyes passed Greyback and went straight to Remus who had just caught sight of him as well. Their eyes locked for a second and Sirius could see the light behind them waver a little before he cast them toward the floor, turning his head away from him. Sirius was shocked to see such a passive reaction from him and his eyes moved back to the teacher just as he shifted his eyes from James, who he'd been greeting, over to Sirius.

"You must be new." Greyback said quietly, his voice having a slight gravel to it, as he extended his hand toward Sirius. "The name's Fenrir Greyback."

Sirius took his hand and shook it briefly. His hand was warm and a little sweaty feeling and Sirius could feel calluses, probably from archery, he guessed.

"Sirius Black." He answered coolly, not feeling very taken in by his personable attitude. Instead he looked back at Remus, who was still standing silently, eyes fixed on a tile somewhere further down the hall.

"Yes, I think I saw you on my new roster." Fenrir said as he shifted his weight, successfully blocking Remus from Sirius' line of sight, though it was such a casual move that it was hard to tell if it had been intentional. "I look forward to seeing you in class."

Without another word he casually glanced over at Remus who immediately came back to his senses and followed him obediently down the hall. Sirius watched them until they disappeared around a corner, ignoring James' insistence that they get going. Something didn't seem right about those two.

"I have to go." He suddenly blurted out, leaving James staring as he ran down the hall.

Realizing that he wasn't going to be able to find them in such a big building, he decided to handle the situation in a round-about way, instead going to find Slughorn.

* * *

><p>Remus was at his desk when Sirius came in later that night. He seemed to be focused on what he was doing and didn't bother to spare him even a glance. Sirius took his time coming in. He put his things away and quietly changed into some sweatpants to sleep in, then went over and perched himself on the corner of Lupin's desk. He'd purposefully left his shirt off, enjoying the way it had made Remus squirm the night before. He saw Remus grow still where he was, though he refused to look up at him.<p>

"Greyback seems nice." Sirius said casually, as though they had already been holding a conversation about it.

Remus stayed silent.

"The other boys seem pretty taken by him as well." He looked down at Remus, giving him a moment to answer but only getting silence. "You seem close with him."

"Get off my desk." Remus replied quietly but sternly.

"I thought Jona had been your last friend. You didn't tell me you were pals with a teacher." Sirius watched as Lupin's frame tightened.

"He's not my friend." He said evenly. "He's my therapist and my coach."

"Ah." Sirius said thoughtfully, nodding theatrically as he did so, his hand coming up to scratch his flat stomach, trying not to grin when he saw gold eyes flick toward the movement. "Well I was hoping to get your opinion of him since he's going to be my coach as well."

"What?" Remus suddenly spoke up, his eyes finally flying up to meet his.

"Well yeah. I just spoke with Mr. Slughorn. He okayed me to join the archery club. Greyback is in charge of that one, isn't he?"

"No!" Remus said as he stood, his hands slamming down on his desk. "I refuse to let you join that club! You're only doing it to make me angry! I wont allow it!"

"Won't allow?" Sirius asked, a triumphant smile splitting his face as it did when he was knee deep in mischief. "I don't remember you having the authority to decide who does and does not get to join clubs."

Remus seemed to come to his senses a little and jerked away from Sirius to put a bit of distance between them, as though he suddenly remembered what happened the night before

"What's wrong, Remus? Do I scare you? I thought you were the on who was supposed to be scary." He said, pushing himself off the desk to take a step toward him.

"You're not frightening at all. You're irritating, and I don't want you there breaking my concentration just so you can amuse yourself with your stupid, sick games." Remus said, regaining his level tone.

"Is that what you're worried about? Hm. For a moment I thought you were upset that I'd be interrupting your dates with _Fenrir._" Sirius used the teacher's first name, imagining Remus using it in private.

Lupin's face blanched and Sirius thought for a moment that he might faint. His eyes had gotten huge, and Sirius pretended he could actually see the palpitations of his heart through his chest and shirt. He had that cornered animal look again and Sirius knew that he was going to try to bolt.

"I really don't want your running off every night to become habit. Why don't you just relax and talk to me about it?" Sirius said, his tone gentler, knowing that he'd hit the nail on the head.

"How dare you…" Remus' voice finally came quietly. "How dare you pretend like you know everything." He was edging his way around the perimeter of the room as he spoke, trying to get a clear shot at the door, though Sirius made sure to keep his body in the way. "If you want me to talk, then fine." his voice was shaking along with the rest of his body, still inching along. "I killed Jona. And if you don't start keeping your nose out of my fucking business you're going to be next. And I have a feeling it'll be a messier death this time."

A grin split Sirius' face, his hands held out a little, as though preparing to catch him. He could feel his heart racing, feeling like he was approaching a wild animal that he might have to wrangle in if things went wrong.

"I don't believe you." He said, his voice quiet as well. "You're not a very convincing murderer."

"And you're stupid for not believing me. Don't you know that stupid people always die first?"

Thinking that he'd finally gotten close enough to the door he lunged for it, though Sirius caught hold of his wrists as his hands closed over the knob and wrenched them away with a cry of rage from Remus.

"So is it an affair?" Sirius asked, unable to stop his bark of laughter as Remus struggled against him. "Are you sleeping with him?

"Shut up! Let go of me!" Remus continued to struggle, though Sirius was clearly stronger than he was.

"I know that you like men! I can tell by the way you stare at me when I'm undressing!" Sirius laughed as he pushed Remus up against the door with his own body, leaving them touching from shoulder to knee. "Don't be so ashamed of it, I know what it's like to crave another man's body." He said in a low, lusty tone, his hips rolling forward against Lupin's body.

"Stop it!" Remus screamed at him so loudly that his voice cracked and in the split second, while Sirius began to rethink his actions, Lupin slipped a knee between his legs and had Sirius on the floor trying not to vomit a few seconds later.

Sirius curled himself up on the floor gasping for air, coughing and trying not to vomit all at once, unable to say or do anything as Remus ran from the room. He had really not wanted that to happen three nights in a row, and he told himself, between his heaves, that he'd this had not been the best approach after all. After dragging himself to the bathroom to be sick he finally managed to stand and carefully made his way back to his bed. He still felt sick from the pain that radiated up from his groin into his stomach and chest. That really had been a stupid idea.

The pain distracted him enough that thoughts of Remus and Greyback and dull brown eyes didn't keep him awake, and he was out cold within minutes.

* * *

><p>Sirius found himself in his brother's funeral chapel again, the stained glass windows seeming to loom in all around him, leaning over him and judging him with their flashes of color. He walked toward the casket, like he always did, but this time found it empty. The casket had never been empty before and he reached out to touch the soft white lining, pretending that he could still feel warmth from where his brother had been, the way that warmth lingered in a bed even after its' been vacated.<p>

Before Sirius could wrap his brain around what was happening he felt cold hands encircle his arms and legs. He screamed and struggled as the disembodied hands forced him down into the casket and then he felt long, thin fingers wrap around his neck. His parents were standing over him, one on each side of the casket, and above his head was the female figure all draped in white, her hands slowly choking him. He struggled, reaching for his parents for help, though they only stood by, the black holes that Sirius knew were once their eyes, trained on his face. Slowly they began to lean over the casket, their mouths opening into giant, gaping maws and Sirius, in horror, watched as thick, wet, black soil began to trickle from their mouths. Slowly the flow increased until it was coming from them in lumpy columns, the weight of it piling on Sirius' stomach and hips as they slowly began burying him.

Sirius' eyes flew open, greeted by the familiar feel of sweat and goosebumps and shaking, but immediately he realized that it had been more than a dream. He still gasped for breath and he still felt the weight of the soil on him. As his eyes finally focused he saw Remus, sitting across his stomach, long, thin fingers wrapped tight around his throat.

TBC…

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the shorter length of this chapter. My next update may take me a bit longer, as I need to sit down and plan out what I'll be doing for the next few chapters. I don't want to get ahead of myself and end up writing myself into a corner. But I'll try to not take more than two or three days. <strong>

**You can have this cliff hanger while you wait! Because I'm an evil author!  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

*****WARNING*****

**Due to some feedback I thought it necessary to add this warning. **

**There is reference to, and threats of, rape in this chapter. Please be aware if this topic offends you or makes you uncomfortable. **

**There is also talk of suicide and murder in this chapter.  
><strong>

**I am not here to offend anybody and will try to be more accurate with my warnings in the future. **

****Author's notes**  
><strong>

**Alright, I had wanted to get more finished with this chapter, but it was getting long and I figured I'd go ahead and post what I have so you wouldn't have to wait longer.**

**I am going to be trying something a little new with this chapter and will be including some things from Remus' perspective. I had been focusing on Sirius' perspective since Remus was a mystery, but now that we're getting to know him better I thought I would include it to add some new dynamics to the story. Let me know what you think, or if it was better the way I had it. **

**Thanks again to all my readers and reviewers, and please keep up the feed back! **

**-Laughs- The more reviews I get, the faster the updates come! ((Yes, I know I'm shameless ^^; ))**

* * *

><p>Remus grinned wickedly as Sirius opened his mouth for air, the expression seeming foreign on his face.<p>

"Are you afraid of me now, Black?" He asked and loosened his grip enough that Sirius could get a few gulps of air. "Answer me!"

Sirius took a moment to catch his breath, then, to Remus' horror, smiled and laughed.

"I'm surprised… but still not scared, Little Lupin." He teased up at him.

"I'm about to kill you! You should be terrified!" He growled at him in frustration.

"Um, attempted suicide? Why would I be afraid of dying?"

Remus looked so angry that he didn't know what to do with himself, though his fingers were still holding onto Sirius' neck. Sirius would never tell Lupin that the reason he wasn't afraid was because he could feel the slight tremor in his fingertips, and knew that he wouldn't follow through with his threats.

"Fine. If you're not afraid of dying, then maybe I'll wait and rape you in your sleep." Remus threatened, trying a new tactic.

The threat only made Sirius grin wider, as he tried not to laugh at the comical image he had of Remus attempting something so outlandish.

"That's very flattering, but I really don't think it's possible." Sirius said smoothly, his fingers ghosting over Remus' knee where he was straddled across his stomach, wanting to laugh when he felt Remus squirm.

"Oh? Think I'm not strong to fuck you into the mattress?" He threatened again, putting pressure on his throat again until he heard Sirius grunt a little, then he lightened up.

"Heh," Sirius said as he caught his breath, "Actually, I figured that your raping me would wake me up… It'd be hard to do something like that while I'm sleeping."

"Stop _doing _that!" Remus suddenly shouted at him, looking like he was running out of ways to handle the situation.

"Doing what?"

"Making me sound stupid!" Remus shouted again.

"You do it to yourself, Remus."

"Shut up!" Remus started putting pressure on his throat again. "If you don't shut up and leave me alone I swear to God, I really _will _kill you!"

He looked so frustrated that Sirius imagined he saw a slight shimmer of moisture in his eyes. The glare was gone a moment later, though, as he felt Sirius's hands take hold of his wrists and he tried to pull away, but was held fast. Sirius was looking up at him with a kind of force that he hadn't seen in him yet. He wasn't playing or teasing him any more. The intensity of emotion in his gunmetal eyes sent a shiver down Remus' spine.

"Do it." Sirius said with raw ferocity in his voice and eyes. "Choke me to death. Right now." He pulled Remus' hands closer to him. "I won't even struggle."

Remus hesitated momentarily, but then grit his teeth and leaned in, putting weight on his hands as he squeezed around Sirius' neck. Sirius watched him resolutely, doing nothing to stop him save for tensing his neck muscles. This was a battle of wills now, and Sirius refused to be taken in by what he was sure was a bluff. Even as his eyes began to blur, and Remus' growling began to sound tunneled, Sirius refused to break eye contact. He watched as a battle waged on Lupin's attractive face, and then it was over and his neck was released.

"What do you want from me?" Remus nearly screamed , his shoulders slumping and his head hanging forward. "Why won't you just leave me alone?"

Sirius could feel Remus' body shaking where he was still sitting on top of him, and while he was distracted he used the hold on his wrists to yank him down so he was laying chest to chest with him. Remus stiffened at the proximity and Sirius could hear a breath hitch in Remus' his throat. Sirius was sure that Remus would be able to feel the effect he was having on him pressing hard against his hip, though he fought the urge to smile, feeling like his point had to be made.

"I want you to stop being such a twat." He said, anger sharpening his words into honed points. "I want you to stop threatening me when it's obvious that you cant follow through with _any _of it, and I want you to stop with the aloof princess act." He pulled him a little closer as he felt and heard Remus begin his rebuttal. The jerking motion silenced him and Sirius dropped the sharpness of his tone, saying more gently, "I want you to tell me."

Remus was still shaking subtly, though he found himself frozen in place, the smell of Sirius' shampoo and sweat making him feel fuzzy headed. This man scared him. He never knew what Sirius was going to do next, and just his presence made his will power feel shaky, like prison walls turning to loose sand.

"Tell you what?" He found himself asking, almost in a whisper before he could stop himself.

Sirius finally let himself grin as he turned his head, brushing his cheek against his and saying in a low, dulcet tone, "Everything. I want to know all of your secrets…"

As the word "secrets" left his lips they were touching Remus' ear, and Sirius could feel the tremor that ran through his body and just thought that he felt a hardening response against him when Remus yanked himself away from his touch, though to Sirius' surprise, he didn't hear the door slam shut.

As Sirius sat up, still feeling a little light headed from the lack of oxygen and raised blood pressure in his head, he saw that Remus was sitting at the foot of his bed, one knee folded under him, the other pulled up near his chest, looking resigned, but edgy. Sirius smiled uncertainly as Remus glanced at him, then looked back at his knee where he was picking at a thread of his sleeping pants.

"Are you actually going to stay here and talk to me?" Sirius asked.

"No!" Remus snapped out of reflex, then looked down again, brows still pulled angrily. "Maybe."

Sirius crossed his legs under himself, bringing a hand up to his mouth to try and keep from laughing. He watched Remus for a long time in silence, suspecting that pressing him would just set him back. Instead, he played spectator to an obvious battle waging across Remus' handsome features.

Remus felt his stomach pitch when he glanced at Sirius and saw his slate eyes watching him so very closely. They were gentler than he was expecting them to be, but it didn't cool the heat they left behind where they bored into him. From the moment they'd met, Remus felt those eyes could strip even his flesh away from him, could see past any defense that Remus put up, straight down to all of his secrets. Feeling panicked he jumped up off the bed, but instead of fleeing he started pacing back and forth between the two beds, chewing nervously on his thumbnail needing an outlet for his nervous energy.

Sirius had never seen Remus like this, with so much uncertainty waging in his mind. Fear and indecision came off of his pacing body in waves that Sirius thought were almost tangible. He watched Remus' mouth open several times, only to snap shut again, seeming to be unable to decide on a single course of action, though after several attempts he finally spun around to meet Sirius face to face again.

"You're so unfair!" Remus said a little more loudly than was necessary as he waved an arm frantically.

"Oh?" Sirius hummed.

"Yes! You're always snooping into my business but you wont even offer up any of your own! You're a hypocrite." He said, going back to his pacing, trying to shift the focus from himself to Sirius. .

"Well what do you want to know?" He asked, suppressing his urge to laugh at his suddenly childish behavior, he smiled as Remus stopped his pacing yet again, the look on his face telling him that he wasn't sure what he wanted to ask him.

"Why are you here?" He asked quietly, still watching him with his brows furrowed in distrust.

"Well I tried to kill myself, but you already knew that, didn't you?" He remembered the way that Remus was able to read him during their first meeting.

"See? That's what I'm talking about! You're so full of yourself!" Remus raised his voice again. "You expect everyone to give you everything but you don't offer anything in retur-" He was cut off as Sirius continued in a surprisingly quiet tone, though it silenced him as though he had been shouting.

"My brother, Regulus, killed himself a year and a half ago." He said quietly, his eyes locking on Remus'.

Sirius wasn't sure why he was telling him this. Remus was right about him, after all. He wanted everyone to tell him their secrets, but he protected his own violently, knowing what people like himself did with secrets once they'd found them. He told himself that it was a bartering tactic, that he was using his own information to garner trust that would allow him to hear Lupin's. Whatever the reason was, he felt his amusement and his fire slow to a weak crackle as he continued.

"He was my parents' golden child. But even though he walked like them and talked like them when he had to, I knew that he wasn't like them. Not really." He smiled faintly to himself as kind memories of his brother filled his head. "He was always trying to keep everyone happy. It was a flaw, really, he never knew how to say 'no' to anyone."

Remus sank down to sit on the edge of his own bed, sitting directly across from Sirius now. He'd never seen Sirius like this. The smile on his face was heartbreaking, so different from the mischievous grin he usually wore and he felt a stirring of sympathy for him.

"I could tell that my parents were demanding too much from him." Sirius continued, his smile fading. "Every time I came home from boarding school he seemed worse and worse. Finally they told him that he'd been betrothed to a girl he'd never met from some famous family in Spain. They wanted the marriage to build ties between our families. Apparently it was too much for him. He jumped off the balcony attached to his room on the fourth floor."

Remus stayed silent as he watched Sirius' face, the other boy seeming lost somewhere in his head. This hadn't really been the information that he'd asked for, but it was still a sign of trust that he was divulging it. Just as he opened his mouth to redirect the story back to Sirius, he got what he wanted.

"After that, my parents decided I would fill his shoes." Sirius said, any sentimental emotion gone, his voice tight now and harsh. "They started dragging me to their parties to meet people who didn't even know Regulus had a brother. And I was told that I would take over Reg's betrothal." He paused again, then grinned. "So I did everything in my power to make their lives hell. Eventually, I jumped off the same balcony my brother had. I thought it would be funny if they lost both of their kids the same way." He reached out toward Remus. "Gimme your hand." He said, not leaving room for argument.

Remus hesitated before extending his hand. Sirius' long, warm fingers closed around his and he tugged Remus toward him, forcing him to stand as he pushed his hand into his long, black mane behind his left ear. Remus could feel a tiny bump there.

"They had to reconstruct part of my skull. I wasn't as lucky as my brother was." He gently let go of Remus' hand, smiling when he felt Remus continue to feel around the area without his insistence. "So my mother dumped me off here. She said I can go home when I straighten up and learn what my priorities are." He finished off-handedly.

Remus seemed to realize that he was still rutting around in Sirius' soft hair and pulled his hand way, sitting back down across from him.

"Sorry my story's a bit underwhelming. Like you said, I'm just a selfish guy who was going to kill himself to make people angry." He said, grinning a tight grin that was obviously there to hide something more vulnerable.

Things were quiet between them for a long time and Remus wondered if he should be happy to know this about Sirius. The more he knew about the black haired man, the more he wanted to put distance between them. He was uncomfortable with the emotional proximity of friends.

"Well?" Sirius' voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

Remus looked up at him and saw that Sirius clearly expected him to take his turn and divulge his secrets. He knew he wasn't ready for it, so he stalled.

"You're really cruel, you know that?" Remus said quietly, glancing at him through the gentle swoop of his bangs.

"And my parents aren't cruel for denying their children any dreams of their own? Or for driving my brother to suicide?" Sirius said, quirking his already arched brow.

Remus couldn't think of anything to say. His parents _were _cruel for treating their children like that, and Remus knew that he had no room to speak, but he still felt that Sirius' flippancy regarding his parents' feelings was brutal.

"It's your turn, Remus. Tell me what your relationship with Greyback is." Sirius pressed gently, afraid that if pushed too hard he'd scare Lupin away.

"I…" Remus paused before he could even start so he could take a fortifying breath. "I killed Jona."

Sirius thought that his confession had much more weight to it this time, and as unlikely as it seemed to be, Sirius couldn't help but believe him now.

"Fenrir helped me cover it up… So I wouldn't be sent to jail." Remus finished, looking down at his fingers where they were holding onto each other.

"What do you mean by 'cover it up'?" Sirius asked carefully. "Everyone still thinks you shot him with that arrow."

"The arrow was staged." Remus said so quietly that Sirius had to lean in to hear him. "Fenrir thought we could make it look like an accident if we did it that way."

"Then… How _did _he die?"

Sirius felt his heart racing, the excitement of nearing his target information sending jolts of excitement through his body, though he realized that the almost tangible electricity flowing through him was tinged with a trepidation that left him feeling shaken. He watched as Remus pulled his feet up onto the edge of the mattress, taking hold of them with both of his hands, his chin resting on his knees as he finally murmured his answer.

"I strangled him in his sleep." Remus raised his dull, brown eyes back to Sirius' as he spoke.

Sirius stared at him searchingly for a long time, unable to formulate his thoughts coherently. He still had a hard time picturing Remus murdering any one. And if he had killed a close friend, why had he been unable to kill him just a few minutes ago when he had sanctioned it. But the force of emotion behind the confession made it clear that Remus gained nothing from lying about it. Sirius asked the only thing he could think to:

"Why would Greyback want to help you cover something like that up?"

Remus worried his lip with his teeth for a moment before answering.

"Because he loves me." He said quietly

* * *

><p>Sirius had tried to press Remus for more information, but he had shut down afterward his mention of Greyback's feelings for him, Sirius' inquiry regarding Remus' feelings toward the teacher seeming to be the trigger. He angrily pointed out that they had each answered one question, and that he had technically answered two of Sirius' questions, so there was no reason for him to say anything else. Sirius had found the childish argument endearing in a way, and stopped pressing him, though for the rest of the night he teasingly threatened that they would have to exchange questions again. He didn't press too hard, though, glad that Remus had chosen to remain in the room with him instead of running off again.<p>

The next day Remus was furious to find that Sirius had gone through with his threat to join the archery club. As soon as he saw his black haired roommate walk onto the range he grabbed him by his arm and yanked him out of earshot of the others.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked through his teeth.

"I'm here for practice, what does it look like?" He grinned cheekily.

"You said you wouldn't come if I told you all that rubbish last night!" Remus sounded like he wanted to shout, though he was keeping his voice hushed to keep eavesdroppers out of their conversation.

"If you remember, I never actually said that I wouldn't come. You assumed that." Sirius said, knowing that it was a low blow, but too stubborn to give up now that he's made it so far under the other boy's skin.

"God damn it, Black, You're such a fucking liar." He was still angry, but there was an undercurrent of something else, perhaps an affection, in his voice. It sounded like a close friend admonishing you for something stupid , even if you know they've already forgiven you.

Sirius smiled at him and was rewarded with a twitch at the corner of Remus' mouth, as though he were trying to keep himself from smiling back. As he glanced over Remus' shoulder, however, he caught every member of the club staring at them. Most looked horrified, others looked excited, as though expecting a blood bath. But one pair of eyes caught Sirius' attention over all the others. Greyback was watching them, his eyes looking black and Sirius thought he could feel them boring into him. He could feel the jealousy coming off the man in waves, so Sirius smiled at him. It was a cocky smile, and just to punctuate it he slid his fingers up Remus' arm and pulled him close, dropping his voice to tease him.

"You better be careful, you make me hard when you get angry like that." He said quietly enough that the others wouldn't hear, though Remus' blushing face and jerking motion away from him gave them both away.

The other students started whispering amongst themselves, the gossip being generated in a frenzy, though Greyback reeled them in quickly, then called Sirius and Remus over, telling them not to interrupt the other students. Sirius felt the heat of anger as Greyback's eyes seared into his, though the cool stony pools put out his fire before it could intimidate him.

* * *

><p><strong>I feel like the last two chapters that I have done have had a lot of talking in them. In my next chapters I am hoping to start wading into the thick of things, and we should see a bit more action! <strong>

**!ATTENTION!**

**I thought it would be fun to have a forum dedicated to this story. I have been dying to have more conversation with my readers and reviewers, and would love anyone who would like to leave a review to also pop over to the forum so we can chat it up. **

** .net/myforums/MelloPie/3274207/**


	6. Chapter 6

*****WARNINGS*****

**This chapter contains graphic references to, and depictions of murder, child abuse, and animal abuse. **

**Thanks for coming back for the next chapter. Things are getting a bit darker, so pay attention to the warnings if you're easily bothered or offended. Please review and let me know how you feel about the turn!**

Sirius quickly learned that he was offensively bad at archery. He was clearly not made for the sport, as it was all patience and precision and Sirius was nothing but unpredictability and head-first-no-questions. He was easily the least talented person there, and he hated every second of it. But he went back the next day, and the day after that. He hated it more each day, but was stubborn enough to continue, refusing to let the gap between himself and Remus expand again after the pains he'd gone through to knit them closer together. He also found himself amused by the looks of hatred that he caught from Greyback when the man thought he wasn't looking. He particularly enjoyed making the man try and explain technique to him over and over, knowing that the 'good teacher' façade must test his patience. The other students were able to sense the tension between the two, and had no qualms with staying out of it. Were Sirius sensible, the intimidating air the man had about him may have affected him, but luckily, Sirius was not sensible.

Remus pointedly ignored Sirius while they were on the range, though he had become more amiable while alone together in their room. Sirius was starting to see that Remus was mostly a normal young man, not all that different from himself in interests, though his sense of humor was terrible and even Sirius' best jokes couldn't even get him to crack a smile. Being with Remus more often, Sirius also became privy to his habits, some of which made his stomach squirm with curiosity. Several nights a week Remus would not return to their room after dinner, but would come stumbling in well into the morning, collapsing on his bed, rarely managing to get himself under the covers.

Sirius had tried to stay up one night to help him into bed, but the chilly welcome his attempt received left him feigning sleep on those nights instead. He had tried several tactics to get Remus to tell him where he went on those nights, ranging from pleading to threatening, but nothing worked. He had been able to guess on his own that he spent the time with Greyback, though Remus would never tell him why he stayed out so late, or why he always seemed worse-for-wear when he got in. Sirius thought that he may just be sexually exhausted, but he lacked that afterglow giddiness that usually accompanied such a state.

Some nights, when Remus seemed less exhausted he would manage to change into sleeping clothes, and Sirius would watch him from his place in bed. He was certain that what he saw on Remus' body were tattoos and was also certain that most of them were words, though he was still unable to make them out. He had tried leaving the curtains open one night , hoping that the light coming in from the grounds would allow him to read the text, but Remus seemed to be wise to his plan, or just thoughtful of Sirius' comfort, and had closed them before changing.

Sirius had also been impatiently awaiting an opportunity for their next round of questions, but every time he brought it up Remus would say that there was nothing about Sirius that he wanted to know, and would refuse if Sirius tried to give him other incentives, as he said that he was a liar and a cheater. It wouldn't have been so infuriating if it weren't true.

Sirius and Remus continued this way for several weeks, their tentative friendship slowly beginning to strengthen, though Sirius always felt that the foundation of their friendship could crumble with the simplest mistake, so he was careful about when and how he pushed Remus.

* * *

><p>"Nice of you to fuckin' join us for a change!" James said loudly as Sirius sat down with them for breakfast.<p>

"Aw, I'm sorry, darling. Have you been feeling neglected?" Sirius teased. "Couldn't wait to get your hands on me, could you?" He winked and James laughed at him.

It hadn't taken James long to sort out Sirius' sexuality, not that Sirius had been very secretive with it. James didn't seem bothered by it and often played flirting games with Sirius, though he was always the one to throw in the towel, usually around the time that Sirius started groping his ass, or sliding fingers tantalizingly up his thigh.

"Sorry, Black. But you know you're not my type." He winked back playfully.

"Oh, that's right. I wouldn't want to make your _girlfriend _jealous, would I?"

James glared at him and Peter as they both fell into laughter, spearing his eggs violently, pretending they were his friends.

It had been nearly a week since Sirius finally learned what had landed James at Slughorn's, and he'd been laughing at him for it ever since, taking any opportunity he could. Peter had told him:

"He claims he's being stalked by an invisible girl." He'd said, trying to sound serious, though his cheeks were turning pink from the effort of not laughing.

"She's not invisible!" James had argued. "Its just that she disappears before anyone can get a good look at her!"

"Of course, James." Peter had patronized.

"I'm serious!" He'd insisted noisily, "I hear this popping noise and there she is! Usually standing down a hall or around a corner watching me! Then when someone comes along… 'POP' and she's gone! It's like some freaky kind of magic!"

Peter had given Sirius a look then that told him not to bother arguing with him, and then they both sat there and listened to James as he spent the next hour describing her, going on about her beautiful red hair and her 'hauntingly' green eyes. After the poetic monologue Peter had informed Sirius that the doctors thought it was a strange form of schizophrenia, which started James on another tirade.

"Speaking of girlfriends," James finally said, interrupting their laughter. "How's yours doing?"

"Pretty damn well, actually." He said with a chuckle, knowing that he was referring to Remus. "I'm only down here with you wankers because he'd taken off somewhere before I'd gotten up.

Peter was shaking his head disbelievingly, as he often did when they were talking about Remus. While James had come around a little after hearing Sirius talk about his normal nights of chatting with Remus, Peter was still convinced that he was a ticking time bomb, and Sirius would be found hung up in their closet by his toes one of these days.

"So have you learned anything juicy yet?" James asked, leaning in closer to him, grinning mischievously.

Sirius opened his mouth to tell him about the secrets he'd uncovered several weeks ago, but just like every other time he'd tried to divulge the information he felt a sharp pang of guilt that made his stomach turn. He smiled pathetically and shrugged.

"Not really." He lied.

Sirius wasn't sure what was happening to him. The more information he tapped out of Remus, the less he wanted to share with his friends. He'd never felt bad for exposing someone else's dirty laundry, but for whatever reason, he felt compelled to help protect Remus' secrets.

"Jesus, Black." Peter said, sounding a little irritated. "It sure it taking you a long time to find anything out."

Peter had been beside himself with curiosity when Sirius told him that he would be sticking close to Lupin to learn his secrets. He loved gossip, and he loved it even more when he was the one with the tantalizing information that everyone else fell over themselves to hear. Sirius had promised that Peter would be the first person he told. James seemed to be a little more in tuned with what was going on and drew his lips into a tight, understanding smile and nodded once at him, as though to say that he admired his decision to not spread rumors.

"Well, if you don't have anything interesting to say about him, then I guess I'll have to." Peter said, grinning as he got their attention, reveling in the spot light.

"Oh? What have you learned? Sirius asked, as though talking to a child who just got home for kindergarten, liking the indignant huff he got in response.

"It might actually explain where he is this morning, _and _where he goes on those nights he's out late." Peter said petulantly, irritated that Sirius wasn't giving him any respect.

Sirius had let slip early on about his late nights. That was before the nauseating guilt started keeping him in check.

"Oh?" Sirius asked again, looking a little more interested now.

"That's right." Peter said smugly, glad to have Sirius' real attention now. "People have seen him sneaking around the back fence in broad daylight. They think that he goes into the woods on the other side."

"What for?" James asked.

"How should I know?" Peter looked shocked.

"No one's ever gone out there to see what he's up to?" Sirius lifted a brow at him, which always made peter jealous, as he never could get the hang of such a suave expression.

"Of course not! If someone went out there to see, they probably wouldn't come back!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and told Peter that he would just have to go check it out since everyone else was too busy spreading rumors to actually make sure they were accurate. Peter seemed put off by Sirius' irritation, though James told him to let it go, and that he would explain it to him when he was older, which pissed Peter off, but successfully distracted him from his irritation with Black

* * *

><p>Getting to the back fence was more difficult that Sirius had anticipated. All the out door fields and ranges for the various clubs were fenced separately. There was a much larger field for school wide events that made up the rest of the ground, and around that an even larger fence with a slanted line of wire around the top. It was the only think that really reminded Sirius that this was not just another boarding school. Outside there were also cameras, as there were in the hallways, that were constantly swiveling back and forth.<p>

Sirius paced around for a while, trying to figure out how to get into the main field of the grounds, and then how to get to the back fence, not even bothering to figure out how to get past that one. Exiting the back of the school he made his way along the open walk way, shaded only by a roof and chain link on the sides, toward the church. He was starting to think that he was out of luck, but then, just before entering the church something caught his eyes. The corner pole which grounded the chain link near the entrance to the church had a bit of a gap between itself and the brick of the church. On the other side Sirius could see the grass laid flat, as though it had been walked on regularly. Glancing around for a moment and not spotting any cameras, Sirius flattened his back to the wall and managed to squeeze himself through.

Grinning triumphantly, he followed the wall of the church around to the back side, where the rest of the school was out of site and was able to make a straight shot across the grass to the tall fence that separated the neatly clipped grass of the grounds from the wild tangle of brush and trees on the other side. He felt like he stuck out, nothing around for him to duck behind if he thought someone had spotted him. In the back corner he found that the chain link had come unattached from the corner pole in a few places and crouching down, he was able to slip through.

_Good to know there's a way out if I ever feel like taking off… _He thought as he walked toward the line of trees.

Once on the other side of the fence, Sirius was able to make out a very narrow path that led back through the trees. You had to be lined up with it perfectly to be able to see it at all, and without thinking much about consequences, he followed it. He was just beginning to think that he wasn't going to find anything out here when he heard a rustling noise that had not been caused by his own feet.

Creeping forward and quietly as he could, he felt his heart begin to race a little, finally starting to wonder if this had been a good idea. He would never be afraid of Remus, but Greyback could be out there with him. Sirius knew that Greyback would not do anything that would jeopardize his position at the school, but out here in the woods where there were no witnesses, he wasn't sure what the man might do. His fears eased a little when he heard a laugh that he didn't recognize. The fluttering in his stomach turned into the twisting of curiosity that he'd grown accustomed to, and he continued, the trail finally opening up into a small clearing, though being only about ten feet across it was heavily shaded by the surrounding trees.

Sirius thought that he had never seen a more beautiful smile in his life as the gentle one that softened Remus' features. Something leapt in his stomach as he heard the soft lilt and tumble of a chuckle that escaped Remus' curved lips as he scooped a little round puppy up into his lap. He was sitting in the leaves on the ground, reclined against the trunk of a tree, three balls of pudge and fluff tumbling around in the lap of his crossed legs, a larger dog resting her head on his knee, watching her babies gnaw on each other playfully. Sirius knew that he should say something, but he was so shocked and so moved by the sight that he was speechless. Remus was beautiful just then, looking like he was glowing, and Sirius realized that he was finally seeing the other boy for who he truly was. This was Remus without his walls or secrets, and Sirius knew right that second that he was hopelessly enchanted by him.

"Careful there…" Remus said softly to the pup, his voice light and smooth and Sirius thought he may faint. "Oh Christ!"

His shout sobered Sirius quickly as he realized that he was the cause of it. Remus had caught sight of him from the corner of his eye, and jumped so violently that it made the puppies warble and the mother lift her head from his knee.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Sirius said quietly, still in awe of the view.

"God damn, Black." He said, sounding a little breathless from the shock. "Do you have a tracker on me or something?" He seemed annoyed, though Sirius could tell that he wasn't angry, as he didn't immediately tell him to piss off, as he still did some times when in a poor mood.

The black and brown dog at his side laid her head back down on his knee when she saw that there was nothing to worry about.

"You know you'd miss me if I didn't follow you around." Sirius teased gently, staying where he was, knowing that it's best to let Remus move things at his own pace and suddenly feeling intimidated by the beauty he'd just seen, feeling like he'd broken some cosmic rule, certain that no human should be witness to something so wonderful.

"Well don't just stand there." Remus said quietly as he tilted his head to the ground next to him, inviting him to sit.

Sirius didn't need to be told twice and immediately took a seat next to Remus, their knees brushing accidentally, though both boys felt a warmth spread from where they'd touched. Remus cleared his throat and then deposited a fat puppy in Sirius' lap as a distraction.

"Help me occupy these guys."

Sirius had learned that his pushy techniques from his first weak at the school were not the most effective way to deal with Remus, and found that patience and kindness got him further most of the time, though there were still moments when a good shove was in order.

Sirius couldn't help but laugh as the puppy rolled into his lap, having a hard time wiggling himself off of his back. The puppy's mother watched her baby carefully, but didn't move her head from Lupin's knee, seeming to trust Remus' judgment.

"What is this?" Sirius asked around another chuckle as he let the puppy lick some breakfast flavor off his fingers.

"It's a puppy, Sirius." Remus said and Sirius thought he'd imagined hearing the joke slip past Remus' lips.

"I can see that." He said, grinning widely at Remus now who actually smiled back at him.

His chest started to feel like the puppy suddenly, warm and fuzzy and soft and he knew he must have looked ridiculous as his grin just kept getting wider. Remus' elusive smile made him feel giddy and hyper and content and calm all at once.

"I've been taking care of them since she showed up pregnant a while back." Remus elaborated, his hand moving to rest on her head, rubbing between her eyes gently. "Fenrir helped me build a little shelter for her to have her puppies in. He said he's going to find people to adopt them soon."

Sirius didn't much enjoy hearing about Greyback at the moment, but he let it slide since Remus was still wearing that bone melting smile.

"My mother would never let me have a dog." Sirius said with a chuckle, rolling the puppy onto its back again and patting it's warm, pink tummy.

Sirius wished he hadn't brought up family, as Remus had grown quiet in a way that Sirius recognized. He knew that the other boy was thinking on one of the many things that he kept to himself. Sirius hated to ruin that smile on his face, but the draw to learn more about the other boy was too strong. He had realized, in that moment he first saw Remus with the puppies, that he no longer wanted to learn his secrets to satisfy his curiosity. He wanted to learn them because they belonged to Remus, because they were part of who he was. And now that he'd seen his smile, he wanted to learn them so that he could somehow banish them and let Remus smile like that all the time. That's why he pressed on.

"How about you?" Sirius asked cautiously. "Did you have any pets growing up?"

Remus looked over at him a moment before looking back down at the two puppies in his lap, one of which was trying to nap while the other chewed annoyingly on his sister's ear. His nod was almost unnoticeable.

"Will you tell me about it?" He continued gently.

"Will I be able to ask you something too?" He asked after a long pause

"Sure." Sirius said immediately, his stomach beginning to knot and turn in anticipation.

Remus nodded, then was silent for a long time, as though trying to organize his thoughts before finally speaking, nearly three minutes later.

"Growing up, I had the best dog." Remus actually smiled a little. "Sometimes when I find your hair in the bathroom I think its his. He had black shaggy fur, like you."

"What was his name?" Sirius encouraged, smiling along with him and feeling his heart leap with joy as he heard Remus compare him to his beloved pet.

"Padfoot. I couldn't even remember getting him. It was like I'd always had him."

"Did you have to leave him at home when you came here?" Sirius cautioned and immediately knew that he'd tapped into something painful for Remus.

Remus' eyes came up to meet his, almost seeming shocked that he would ask such a question. Sirius could see his body start to lock up and the walls go up behind his eyes to keep people from reading him.

"Tell me?" Sirius asked quietly, a sort of mantra he'd used on numerous occasions when trying to get Remus to open up to him.

"He's dead." Remus said, turning his attention back to the mother dog as she licked at her sleeping puppy. "My parents killed him."

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, anything that would relieve the stony expression that Remus had plastered back onto his face. Now that Sirius knew what he looked like when he smiled, the expressionless mask that he wore most of the time seemed so heart breaking.

Remus glanced at Sirius and saw his brain working frantically to find words to try and comfort him. He hated opening up to people, but something about Sirius impelled him to open up. He had been insulted at first when Sirius had told him that he would dig up all of his secrets, but now he find himself fighting the urge to just spill them all at his regal feet. He wanted Sirius to see every corner of who he was, and that terrified him. He considered getting up and racing back to the grounds, but instead he opened his mouth and continued talking.

"I never did find out why my parents hated me so much." He said almost casually, both puppies asleep in his lap now, his hands pinned where they were cradling them. He didn't bother looking at Sirius as he continued." It wasn't the hitting or anything that bothered me the most, though. Sometimes, when they would go out, or when they were just angry, they would lock me inside this little closet in the back room and leave me there. The only thing that kept me from breaking down was that they'd throw Padfoot in behind me. Somehow, him being there made me feel a bit safer."

"Remus… I'm sorry." Sirius whispered after a few moments of silence, not sure what to say. His mind raced back to everything he'd said to Remus since they'd met and he scrutinized his words through the lens of what Remus must have been feeling, and he felt like an ass. He wanted to go back and try to explain himself, but knew that it didn't matter at such a late point.

"You shouldn't feel sorry for me." He said, his voice edged with a hostility that made Sirius uncomfortable. "After they killed Padfoot… I found the hammer they'd used on him… and I beat them both to death in their sleep." He paused, his jaw tight, looking at a leaf a few feet in front of him, though Sirius was sure that he wasn't able to see it at all. After a chilling moment, Remus looked back down at the puppies. "I was seven. I was sent here after my relatives refused to take me."

This confession felt so different from Remus' confession about Jona. With Jona, Remus seemed distraught and incredibly ashamed. He did not seem to feel remorse for his parents. Sirius was stunned silent, everything he'd thought he'd known about Remus had been flipped over. He'd been so sure that Remus would never be able to harm anyone, but now, seeing the hate in his eyes, and the angry tremor in his shoulders, he wasn't as certain.

"I know you're disgusted with me… but my mother held me and made me watch as my father beat my dog's head in. The sounds that Padfoot made," he had to stop and take a shaking breath. "I still dream about them. I don't think there's a sound in the world more terrifying."

Sirius saw fat tears gather at the border of Remus' eyelids, though a quick flutter of lashes reined them in. Remus swallowed audibly and looked over at Sirius, the venom in his eyes sending a chill through Sirius' body and made him feel suddenly nauseous.

"I killed them both on the first swing." He said. "It broke straight through their skulls. But I didn't stop. I kept hitting them. There was nothing left when I was done."

The wavering of his voice at the end of his sentence and the threat of tears in his eyes again broke the ice that had encased Sirius, and it was replaced with something incredibly warm. Sirius's hand moved up to brush his finger tips over Remus' cheek and he heard himself whispering before he could even think on the words.

"You're not a bad person." He said with a certainty he didn't think he had any more. "What your parents did to you… _they _were bad people."

Sirius saw Remus' chin quiver slightly before he swallowed and blinked back his tears, not seeming to agree with Sirius, but not in a state to argue with him either.

"Do you want to ask your question now?" Sirius asked gently, his hand now combing through his hair gently, trying to sooth the shaking he could feel in the other boy's frame.

Remus nodded, but stayed silent, still trying to get his ribcage to stop vibrating and his eyes to stop stinging. He was surprised by Sirius' reaction to his story. He had expected the other boy's face to twist in abhorrence, but for every bad reaction that Remus expected, he received a gentle one instead. He had never thought that Sirius could be capable of such gentleness. Their first days together had been tense and bordering on violent, but the more time he spent with Sirius, the more he realized that he's capable of incredible acts of kindness and understanding. He wondered for a moment what he should ask him, but decided on the question at the forefront of his mind.

"Why do you want to know these things about me so badly?" He asked, his face tingling and warming where Sirius' fingers were touching.

Sirius' breath caught at the site of such vulnerability in his eyes and his heart ached a little.

"Because I care about you." He said instinctively.

"You're such liar." Remus said, in the same way that he often called Sirius a liar, though it was more tentative this time, as though asking him indirectly if he were being honest.

"I'm not lying this time." He said with a soft smile. "I really do care about you. I… I want to try and make you happy." He found himself confessing before he realized he was doing it, then felt his heart speed up.

Remus' eyes wavered and fell to the puppy sleeping in Sirius' lap, his cheeks warming and his mouth going a little dry. This was a bad idea. He knew it was. He'd already let Sirius get closer to him than he was really comfortable with, but the situation was going in a direction that he knew would only cause trouble. His head was telling him that he needed to get up and leave before things got carried away, but his body refused to move and when he felt Sirius' dark hair brush against his bangs he lifted his chin complacently and let Sirius brush their lips together. Though it was nothing more than a feather-light touch, Remus still felt his breath vacate his lungs, and he thought for a moment that he was suffocating.

Sirius felt his nose press against Remus' warm cheek as his lips swept across his, barely touching. Feeling emboldened by the lack of dissent, and by the small sound he heard in Remus' throat, he pressed in again, this time for a proper kiss. Remus' malleable lips cushioned him so perfectly that he imagined for a moment that they'd been molded to fit together. When Sirius felt Remus lay his hand gently on his knee he felt his head spin and leaned in, sliding a hand behind Remus' neck to hold him in the kiss that was quickly becoming more that the mere touching of lips.

An electricity passed between them that was surprising to both boys, though just as Remus felt the impossibly soft touch of Sirius's tongue on his lip he felt the dog on his knee lift her head and let out a grunt. Vaguely curious, Remus managed to lift his heavy lids and immediately felt his veins fill with ice. He tore himself away from Sirius , startling the dog and her puppies with the abrupt motion. All color drained from his face as his eyes locked with the dark orbs as Greyback stood at the opening to the path, watching them fiercely, venomous intent evident in his features.

**Okay, I'm not wholly pleased with the last bit, but am having a hard time concentrating, as I fell and bumped my head during a break right before the kissing scene. My friend and I were reading some hysterical fan fiction and I leaned a little too far forward, causing my chair to slide out from under me, the back rest catching me on the back of my head. How I wish someone had caught it on film. **

**Anyway, I may re-write it in the near future. I'll put an announcement at the beginning of chapter 7 if I do. **

**Also, I got the link for the forum that I made wrong. If you're interested, try this one instead. **

**http : / forum . fanfiction**

**.net/forum/Slughorns_Sanitarium_for_Troubled_Boys_Discussion/98497/**


	7. Chapter 7

****

*****WARNING*****

**This chapter contains **

**Hey everyone! Thanks for coming back for Chapter Seven. I'm glad that the end of Chapter Six wasn't the disaster that I thought it had turned into. Things are hopefully going to stay moving fast now, let me know what you think. **

**In my defense I'm horrible at action scenes, so any feedback I can get in that area in particular will be a huge help! **

**Also, I'd like to apologize for the delay in the update. My work load at school and at work is getting a little more intense. I'll be only updating once a week for a while. My goal will be to update on Friday night or Saturday morning so that people have the weekend to read. I apologize, but I will try to keep the updates regular. **

"Well this is a surprise." Greyback said in a deceptively calm voice as he walked further into the clearing.

Remus slid the puppies off his lap and toward their mother before standing up quickly, Sirius rising up next to him.

"I didn't tell him about this place, Fenrir, I promise. He followed me here." Remus began explaining himself quickly.

Sirius' eyes snapped over to where Remus was still standing beside him, feeling insulted that he would throw him under the bus so quickly, having thought that they'd just shared a rather meaningful moment.

"It's fine, Remus. I'm not angry." Greyback said calmly, though there was an acid in his eyes as he waved Remus to him.

Remus moved to obey immediately, though Sirius grabbed him by his arm, yanking him back toward himself more violently than he'd meant to.

"Now hold on just a fucking second!" Sirius snapped. "Do you really think that I'm going to hang around and let whatever _this _is go on?" He asked, motioning between Remus and Fenrir with his free hand.

"And what is it that you think is going on between us?" Greyback asked.

He seemed calm, but Sirius could see his fists clenching at his side and a slight tremor in his shoulder, as though his body wanted nothing more than to tear into him.

"Quiet, Remus." Sirius began again as Remus started quietly asking him to leave it alone. "You really want to know what I think? Well first of all, I think that there's an inappropriate relationship going on between you two that Slughorn might be interested to hear about. But what really gets on my tits is that I think that you killed Jona, and framed Remus for it." Sirius steeled his nerves as he spoke so boldly.

"Sirius, stop it." Remus said with a bit more force in his voice this time.

"Is that what you think?" Greyback asked, his mouth twitching into a putrid smile. "I'm surprised he told you about that at all, but you clearly don't know anything about him if you feel that way."

"I know enough about him to realize that he looks like shit when he gets back to our room after playing around with _you_. I know that you have the whole school terrified of him. That's what this is about, isn't it? You were jealous that he fancied Jona, so you got rid of him, cut Remus off from all the other boys here, and left him emotionally dependent on you all in one nasty swoop, didn't you?" Sirius spat accusingly.

"Sirius, _stop _it!" Remus nearly shouted now, yanking his arm out of his grasp.

Sirius was surprised when Remus yanked himself away so violently and felt a sudden sting of betrayal as Remus made his way over to Greyback, who pulled him close to his chest. Remus kept his back to Sirius, not wanting to have to see that betrayed look of disgust that he was sure was marring his handsome features.

"Remus is very sick, Black. And your meddling has only made things worse for him." He was petting the back of Remus' head gently, his other hand resting on his arm.

"I think you're bluffing." Sirius said through his teeth.

"Did he tell you about his family?" Greyback asked, as though he were pulling a trump card.

"He did, actually. And if you think that I'm going to let something like that deter me-" He began, but was cut off.

"Do you know what that kind of experience can do to a child's mind? The rage that he felt toward his parents still haunts him, and sometimes it cant be controlled" He finished quietly, looking down at Remus and touching his cheek.

Sirius had a hard time telling if the compassion that he saw there was real, but it was very convincing.

"He has fits." Greyback continued, looking back at Sirius again. "I know he cant control it, so I've done what I can to help keep him safe. I kept him from being arrested for the accident with Jona, and I keep him locked in my office when he has them now so he can't hurt any one else."

Sirius felt his stomach begin to clench uncomfortably as he listened to Greyback. Every cell in his body told him not to believe a word this man said, but the sincerity with which he delivered it made his rationality tell him that his gut could be wrong.

"Remus, is what he's saying true?" He asked, looking at the back of Remus' head, wishing that he would turn around and look him in the eye, but all he caught was the nod of his head.

Sirius felt his mind explode in white static. He couldn't think straight. Had he been wrong all this time about both Greyback _and _Remus. He'd thought Remus was incapably of murder, yet he admitted very believably to the savage murder of his own parents. Granted, he had reason, but the brutality with which the act was performed still left a bitter taste in Sirius' mouth. If he'd been wrong about Remus, could he also be wrong about Greyback. Whether it was appropriate for them to have a relationship aside, could Greyback truly be trying to keep Remus safe, and nothing more?

"Now if you're finished making things worse, we all need to get back to the grounds. I wont report you to Slughorn this time, Black, but you need to stay away from this place. Come on, Remus." He finished gently before leading Remus back down the path, guiding him gently by his hand.

Sirius sank back down to where he and Remus had been sitting, the puppies waddling over to him again. He felt lost all of a sudden. He felt like any progress he'd made with Remus was gone, and he couldn't help feeling rejected and betrayed. Maybe he had read Remus' signs incorrectly.

He stayed in the clearing for nearly a half hour, playing with the puppies half-heartedly as he let his thoughts settle down. With a quick scratch behind the mother's ear he finally made his way back to the grounds of the school. Since all his time had been spent trying to get close to Remus, he now was unsure what to do with himself. He considered finding where Greyback had taken him, thinking he could spy on them and try to catch them doing something that would rebolster his initial suspicious, but remembering the way that Remus had abandoned him for Greyback made his interest in the mystery falter. Instead, he went to the pitch where he figured he would find James and spent the rest of the day losing himself to the physicality of sport. He was glad that his mind was forgivingly blank as he played, and only then did he realize how much time he'd spent thinking about Remus and his problems. He'd never meant for it to become so consuming.

That night, when he returned to his room to find it empty he told himself that he wouldn't let it keep him up, and crawled into bed. It was 3am before he fell asleep, though, and Remus had not so much as peeked in. In the morning Sirius was woken up by the loud chiming of bells, as always happened on Sundays. Rolling over he saw that Remus' bed was still empty. He felt his stomach lurch unhappily, but reminded himself that he wasn't interested in what Remus does any more. After showering he meandered down to Mass where Peter gave him a pathetic look.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked, seeming a half concerned and half disgusted.

Sirius knew that he didn't look quite his best, but he didn't realize that showing up with still-wet hair would make his kicked puppy feel quite so obvious.

"Lupin blew him off." James said, who'd found out the day before on the pitch.

"Isn't that normal?" Peter asked, looking between the two of them.

"Just drop it, you two. I don't want to talk about it. I'm done worrying about him, so if we could just not talk about him for a whi-" He stopped himself as he noticed an empty spot in the pew where Remus and Greyback always sat. He craned his neck, trying to locate them in the crowded church. "Did you guys see Remus come in this morning?"

"I thought you didn't want to talk about him for a while." Peter said with a teasing grin.

"Shut it, Pete, I'm serious." Sirius snapped at him.

"We've not seen him come in." James said, sounding far more sincere. "Haven't seen Greyback either."

Sirius felt like he may vomit on the back of the pew in front of him. Even though Greyback kept Remus out late several nights a week, they had both always attended Mass. He knew that something was wrong, he could feel it, and his whole body began prickling with fear that was bordering on panic.

"Tell them I'm sick if anyone asks." He said hastily to James and Peter before getting up and running from the church, heads turning to watch him.

Sirius felt his heart racing, but somehow knew that it wasn't just because he was running. Fear was twisting his stomach as he ran first to Greyback's offices, then to the locker rooms and archery range, each place empty. He couldn't explain how something as trifling as their absence from church reaffirmed all of his suspicions, but he knew in his heart with more certainty now than ever, that Remus was too gentle to have violent fits, no matter how traumatized he might be. It was what he saw in Remus' eyes when he told him about his parents that reassured him. He could see in the wavering golden glow that Remus was disgusted with himself for what he'd done. And it was that self loathing that Greyback was culturing and keeping alive in order to control him. He didn't need any more evidence. The shockingly powerful emotions that had stirred in Sirius for the other boy was all the evidence he needed.

Unsure of where else to check he ran back toward the church, pushing himself through the opening between the building and the fence. As soon as he reached the cover of the trees he felt his skin prickle again. He could tell something was not right, and as he broke through the foliage into the clearing he felt his whole body go cold and his stomach convulse in an attempt to purge itself.

He'd found Remus, but not in a state that he'd expected. Remus sat near the tree where they'd shared their kiss the day before, his legs bent awkwardly underneath him as though they had crumpled under his weight. The coppery smell that filled Sirius' nostrils drew his attention to the blood smattered on the ground and the bark of the trees. Sirius could make out three little red lumps in the leaves and with another wave of nausea he realized they were the puppies. By the shelter was the larger form of the mother dog, her head indiscernible, only a red mess where it should have been. While Sirius could not see Remus' face, he knew that he was conscious as he swayed and shook where he was sitting, seeming to be staring at one of the bloody lumps near him, his hands and arms smeared in red.

Sirius felt his brain shudder to a stop. When he caught sight of the jagged stone about six inches across that was laying beside Remus' knee and the blood and bits of flesh that covered it, the horror of the situation settled in him.

"Remus?" Sirius thought he voice sounded overly weak, and thought it was so quiet that Remus may not have heard him.

Remus had heard, though, and as he turned shakily toward him Sirius felt his stomach lurch in protest again and had to cover his mouth to keep himself from being ill as he caught site of the blood and tiny fleshy bits smeared over his mouth and cheeks. Remus' lips quivered as they opened, seeming like he wanted to say something to Sirius, though before he could get any words out, he jerked forward and was violently sick. The awful sound of retching pulled Sirius out of his shocked state and he hurried over to Remus, taking his shoulders and leaning him further forward to keep him from getting vomit on himself.

"I-I'm sorry," Remus began, having to pause as he heaved again. "Pl-lease, I'm sorry." His heaving turned into sobs as he brought a hand up to wipe his mouth, the drying blood still smearing.

"Shh. Just relax, Rem. You're alright now, okay? Just relax. Take a deep breath for me, okay?" He babbled, rubbing his back and soothing circles. "Can you stand up?" He asked, rising to his feet and guiding Remus up on shaky legs. "Lets get you back and cleaned up, alright? Then we'll talk."


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone, Sorry for the delay in the update, but I hope that you like this chapter. I had a really hard time writing this one for some reason, but would like to thank my reviewers for giving me the motivation to get through it.**

**The mature rating is, in my opinion, pretty light in this chapter, though there is some discussion that may upset some people, so please be aware that this story is for mature audiences. **

**Feedback is always appreciated and I always look forward to reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Sirius could feel that Remus' legs were weak and he had to wrap an arm around his waist to keep him from crumpling back down into the leaves. He tried to not look at the bloody smears that used to be puppies as he slowly lead Remus to the path that would take them back to the grounds. As they made their way to the back side of the church Remus tried to stop their progression, shaking his head deliriously.<p>

"I-I don't want to be seen like this…" He murmured.

"It's fine. Everyone is still in Mass." Sirius reassured him. "No one is going to see you."

Even as he reassured him, he knew that the trip back to their dorm would be more difficult than he made it out to be, as he would have to avoid the security cameras as well. The weakness in Remus' body did not help, either, as he had to hurry him down halls when the cameras pivoted away from them, half carrying Remus as he went. When he finally managed to get back to their dorm he felt confident that they had made it without being spotted. He took Remus straight to the bathroom where he leaned him over the sink.

"Rinse your mouth." He instructed gently as he cupped water up to his lips for him.

Remus did as he was told and rinsed his mouth repeatedly until the water was no longer tinged red. Sirius could still feel the shaking in the small of his back where he had his free hand resting, as Remus now supported himself on the counter. When they were done at the sink, Sirius took him over to sit where he could lean against the wall near the shower. Remus immediately sunk down to the floor.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Sirius asked carefully as he began to run the water in the tub.

"I… I had a fit. When I came to…" He stopped, his body starting to shake badly again.

"You don't remember actually doing it?" He asked cautiously, his curiosity getting the best of him.

Remus shook his head and Sirius felt that curious churning in his stomach that begged him to press for more information, but his rational side was able to point out how inappropriate it would be at a time like this. He would learn what happened, and he would explore Remus' inability to recall the incident, but it would have to wait.

Remus could only barely make out the sound of the running water, and thought he heard Sirius say something to him, but it all sounded as though it came from a great distance. His eyes were fixed on the blood smeared over his hands and arms, feeling that it marked him as what he truly was. He was vaguely aware of Sirius making his way over to him, but took no notice until he felt fingers brush over the skin under the hem of his shirt. The sensation brought him out of his reverie violently and he shoved Sirius away out of reflex.

"Relax, Rem." Sirius said quietly, not seeming surprised by Remus' reaction. "Lets get you cleaned up, okay?"

Remus was clutching tightly at his own shirt now, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. Sirius knew that Remus was modest and often seemed self conscious about this body. He'd never questioned him about it but had always been vaguely curious. He thought perhaps he was self conscious of his tattoos, but found that hard to believe, as tattoos were usually something acquired by choice. He had always meant to ask him, but was otherwise occupied by other, more tantalizing secrets.

"It's gonna be fine, Rem." He said again, trying to sooth him as he reached for his shirt again, trying to be more gentle this time.

"Don't touch me!" Remus shouted at him with an intensity that surprised Sirius.

"Remus, I'm just trying to help you. Chill out!" Sirius said, trying to stay calm, though the frustration was evident in his voice.

"I don't need your help to clean myself." Remus argued, though Sirius could see that his head seemed a little too heavy for his neck to support, and it bobbed around a little more than was normal for conversation.

"Don't give me that. You couldn't even walk back here on your own." He said, trying to keep his frustration out of his voice.

"Well I'm feeling better now." Remus ground out at him.

"You're lying. You can hardly keep your head up right now."

Sirius knew that there were times when it was best to be gentle with Remus, and times to push him. And this was definitely a time to push.

"Now stop fighting me, and let me help you." He said reaching for Remus' shirt again, though he was stopped rather quickly by a fist meeting his cheekbone, and while it had little strength behind it, it was enough to interrupt him.

Sirius felt his temper flare up and before he had the chance to think out his course of action he found himself pushing Remus face first against the tiled floor. He hadn't meant to be so rough, but he was angry. Angry that Remus was refusing to trust him after everything he'd done to prove himself. Angry that Remus seemed comfortable with Greyback touching his body, but wouldn't even let Sirius help him to clean up in a time of need. He was angry that the kiss they'd shared just the day before was still replaying in his head, but that it seemed to mean nothing at all to Remus, who had turned away from him to go to Greyback. And he was angry that thoughts of Remus now occupied every available bit of real-estate in his mind.

"Get off me!" Remus snarled against the tiles, trying to push himself up without much success, as his body was still weak.

"Just hold still!" Sirius shouted as he moved a hand to the back of Remus' head, the other hand moving to grab the back of his shirt, shoving it up under his arms.

Immediately, Sirius felt the fight drain from both the body beneath him and from his own. All the anger he'd felt instantly evaporated, leaving only that all too familiar feel of ice in his veins. He had always wanted to know what those silhouetted words tattooed across Remus' skin were, but now that they were laid out before him, he wished he could erase them from his memories.

His eyes were first drawn to the word "Monster" etched in protruding scarred tissue, written out in rough, angled letters across his shoulder blades. Littering the rest of his back he saw older and fainter lines that spelled out other words. "Killer," "Beast," "Murderer." Sirius found himself unable to stop staring, his mouth hanging open in a pathetic attempt to ask something, anything that would make what he was seeing okay.

Remus had stopped fighting. He could even feel the racing of his heart slow down, as though it no longer cared. He had tried so hard to keep Sirius from seeing him like this. When Sirius had told him that he would learn all of his secrets, the intensity of his declaration had frightened him, though he had still held onto the belief that he would have the strength to resist the dark haired teen. He didn't fight as Sirius maneuvered the shirt off of him, pushing him over to see his chest.

A queasy feeling passed over him as Sirius saw the name "FENRIR" gouged across his chest in a diagonal from his lowest rib to his opposite collarbone. Remus could see the fury suddenly bubble up into Sirius' eyes, making them look like pools of bubbling mercury.

"What is this?" Sirius asked in a low voice, watching Remus who's eyes were staring blankly at the ceiling. "Remus, what _is _this?" His voice had more power this time, and an edge of warning.

"I thought finding out my secrets would make you happy." Remus said vaguely.

Sirius reached a few shaky fingers out to brush over the words scarred across his chest.

"Greyback did this to you?" He said, more than asked. "Remus… why would you continue going back to him when he does this to you?" He was nearly shouting by the time he'd finished. "Why do you let him do this to you? Why didn't you tell me?" He was furious now, made even angrier by Remus' seeming disinterest.

"I let him do it because I like it." Remus said, his voice pathetically dull and void of any real interest. "I let him do it because it works."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" Sirius spat out at him, still holding him pinned to the tile, though Remus showed no intention of fighting back.

"My fits… and what I did to my parents… they make it impossible for me to sleep properly." He was perfectly concealed behind his mask of apathy. He laid a hand over the letters on his chest. "When he does this to me… it distracts me. Clears my mind. It lets me sleep."

Sirius stared at him in silence for so long that Remus finally refocused his eyes onto him. The look on his face was not what he'd expected. He looked as though Remus had just told him something that made so little sense that it was physically painful. As though someone had just told him that the sun never actually set, but was going for a dip in a celestial swimming pool. It was a look of utter disbelief at the level of stupidity he'd just heard.

"Are you kidding me?" Sirius asked, sounding flabbergasted.

Remus blinked at him, shocked by his reaction. Besides Greyback, only one other person had known about this, and it had been Jona. But Jona's reaction to the news was so different. He'd been worried and extremely comforting when he'd found out. He'd drawn him up into his arms and held him, telling him that everything was going to be okay. In retrospect, and in comparison to Sirius' reaction, Remus realized how naïve Jona's comments had been.

"Are you _fucking _kidding me?" Sirius said again, raising his voice some.

Before Remus could answer properly he felt Sirius take his arm roughly and yank him to his feet. Sirius could feel that his legs were still weak, so when he pushed him toward the counter he moved in close behind him so Remus was supported with the sink counter at his front and Sirius' body pressed against his back to hold him up. Planting a hand on either side of Remus's body on the counter he peered over his shoulder at their reflection in the mirror.

"Look at yourself, Remus." He nearly growled into his ear, his eyes locked on Remus' in the reflection. "You _let _him do this to you? You _let _him abuse you like this because it helps you _sleep?_"

Remus looked between Sirius's face and the scars spread across his chest, and for the first time thought that maybe he was stupid. The reasoning had seemed so legitimate in his mind, and when Greyback had explained it to him it seemed so caring of him. But hearing Sirius break it down the way he had made him feel foolish.

"You hate looking at them, don't you?" Sirius said, his voice quieter this time, his breath brushing over the other boy's ear. "You're ashamed to have anyone else see them. That's why you refuse to change clothes in front of me, isn't it? Why you come in late and change when you think I'm asleep."

Remus' eyes snapped back to the slate points in the mirror, shock and embarrassment evident in his face when he realized that Sirius had been watching him change late at night.

"You were faking?" Remus began, but was cut off.

"Shut up!" Sirius snarled into his ear, effectively silencing him, only to continue in a quieter voice, though it was still edged firmly. "I have a lot of respect for you, Remus. You've been through more than most people could handle and I'd always thought that you'd come out of it with at least some semblance of rationality. But this. This is not something that's okay. Not ever. No one who cares about you would ever do this to you. _Ever._ Do you understand?"

Remus was quiet for a long time, staring at himself in the mirror, his thought process left a little fuzzy by the heat behind him, the feeling of Sirius' chest rising and falling against his back. He tried to remember when Fenrir had first started doing this to him, but found his memory to be nebulous.

"F-Fenrir said that if he-" his weak voice was interrupted again.

"No!" Sirius insisted. "There is _no _excuse for this. Nothing he has to say can make this right, Remus!" Sirius stared at the other boy's dulled eyes through the mirror for a long time before bringing a hand up to splay across his chest, over the scars that spelled out Fenrir's name and continued in a much quieter, gentler tone. "When you love someone, when you _truly _love someone, you don't do these things to them. You take care of them. You try to make them happy. You don't hurt them, you don't possess them, you don't control them." He watched as Remus tried to process his words, then added in an even quieter tone. "Would Jona have done something like this to you?"

Sirius knew that he had struck a well of emotion as he saw tears start to pool in his eyes and his lip start shaking dangerously.

"Come on, Rem." Sirius said gently. "Lets get you cleaned up."

Remus didn't fight him this time, simply holding onto the counter for support as Sirius removed the rest of his clothing for him. His mind was so occupied on Sirius' words that he didn't even take notice as Sirius removed his own clothes, and did not resist as Sirius set him down into the tub, only to climb in behind him. It was a tight fit, but Remus was able to fit relatively comfortably between Sirius's long legs.

They were both quiet for a long time as Sirius cleaned Remus' body thoroughly, making sure to get every smear of blood off of him. Sirius was sure now that Greyback had somehow set this up. He had been shocked further when he found that the scars were not confined to his chest and back only. They were scattered about his legs and hips as well. Not all were words. In places there were little hatch marks of scarred tissue. In other places it looked as though he were carving shapes into him, though throughout, Sirius could make out disgusting words that Greyback had used to mark Remus as something evil and guilty and filthy. He was certain that he did this to keep Remus feeling like something unworthy, something deserving of punishment. With a little effort he was able to get Remus to try and justify why, if it was only the pain that helped him sleep, Greyback had to carve such horrible words into him.

"He told me that if I remain aware of what I am, that the awareness might keep the fits under control." Remus said weakly, as though he realized how stupid it sounded.

"So what are you then? A monster? He's full of shit, Remus. You're not a monster, and only a _real _monster would make you want to feel that way about yourself." Sirius said, his voice still edged with disgust for what Greyback had done to him. "I just cant understand why you let him do this. I mean, you had Jona, didn't you? I thought he would have shown you what real love is supposed to be like."

"And how do you know what my relationship with him was like?" Remus asked snidely, obviously not liking the subject matter.

To Remus' surprise, Sirius actually laughed a little, though it was more of a scoff.

"Are you kidding? It's obvious by the way you talk about him that you were in love with him." He tilted his head to try and get a look at Remus' face, and saw his mouth drawn into a tight line, though his eyes looked full of uncertainty and something Sirius could only describe as longing. "Do you want to tell me about him?" He added softly.

Remus was silent for a long time, before Sirius felt his body twitch a little with a slight chuckle.

"Do you really think it would be appropriate to talk about him while I'm sitting naked in a bath with another man?" He asked with the hint of a smile in his voice.

Sirius smiled, glad to see that Remus had relaxed a little. He brought a hand up to run from Remus' forehead all the way through his hair, pulling his head back to rest on his shoulder as he did so.

"I want to hear about him." Sirius said genuinely.

"Mm." Remus hummed a little, seeming to enjoy the hand in his hair. "He was nothing like you."

Sirius felt a small pang in his chest at the comment, but knew that this wasn't about his own feelings right now.

"He was very gentle, and never showed any signs of a temper." He said, raising a brow as he turned his head just slightly to look at Sirius' face. "He smelled like violets." He leaned his head back again, staring at the ceiling, his fingers swishing around in the water slowly. "Sometimes when I would wake up I would think someone had left violets all over my bed, then I'd realize that Jona was just holding onto me, and I would always think… 'thank god it's not violets.'" Remus shook his head, snorting at himself. "Sorry. That's really stupid. I never even told him I thought that."

"Its not stupid." Sirius said, leaning his head over to rest on Remus'. "A little corny, but not stupid. He sounds like a nice guy."

"He was." Remus said solemnly. "Until…"

Sirius could feel his body begin to tense, and knew where his mind was going.

"You're innocent, Remus." Sirius reassured him quietly.

"You're so arrogant." Remus said, his temper flaring a little again. "How can you say things like that with such certainty when you don't know anything about them?"

"I know more about it than you think, Remus." Sirius said, his voice surprisingly calm in the face of Remus' argumentative tone. "I know that Greyback is 'in love' with you, and that you were in love with Jona, which would probably make him quite jealous. I know that he wants to keep you for himself and wants to make sure that none of the other boys will be brave enough to get close to you." Sirius raised his voice a little, in order to talk over Remus who was trying to argue his point. "And I know that you don't have any real memories of killing Jona, or those puppies. I also know that he is the one who gives you your medication, and so it would be extremely easy for him to slip you something that would knock you out, giving him time to do the deed and set you up to think you'd done it. Then he could swoop in and be your savior, leaving you feeling even more indebted to him."

Remus was quiet for a long time, and Sirius watched as he went between seething with anger, to wallowing in confusion.

"He… He wouldn't do that to me." Remus finally said in a weak voice.

"Remus! He carved the word "monster" into your fucking chest! What more evidence do you need?" Sirius asked, frustrated that Remus was still being so stubborn about this.

"It helps me sleep…" he argued weakly.

"So, if I can come up with a way to help you sleep that doesn't involve body mutilation, will you let me help you cut your ties with him?" Sirius asked, only barely concealing his anger.

"There isn't anything else that helps." Remus said quietly.

"How'd you sleep after you and Jona had a good romp?" Sirius asked, quirking a brow and then grinning when he saw color break out over Remus' face.

"What?" Remus tried to sit up in the tub, wanting to turn around and glare at him, though Sirius' arms had snaked around his chest, holding him close.

"If you're just looking to exhaust yourself, and distract yourself," Sirius said quietly, a hand moving up to his chin, turning his head toward him, "there are much nicer ways of going about it."

Remus felt his body going numb, just as it had when Sirius kissed him in the woods the day before. He still felt that sensation of panic, the need to get up and run, to put as much distance between himself and Sirius as he could. He had loved Jona, but when they kissed he didn't feel this way. With Jona it had been soft and comforting, with Sirius it felt as though he were going to be devoured. As though Sirius was going to truly possess everything that he was, and what scared him the most about it, was that he wanted him to.


	9. Chapter 9

*****WARNING*****

**This chapter contains explicit homosexual content. If you are underage, or are uncomfortable with or offended by gay sex, please skip this chapter. If you DO plan to skip, you can move to the bottom of the page where I will have a list of anything that is important for the story line that you might miss in this chapter.**

*****END WARNING***  
><strong>

**This chapter is mostly smut, and go figure, it's one of my longer chapters. I suppose I'm not the only perv here, though. ^^;; **

**I'm not very well practiced at sex scenes, so I apologize if this comes out lame/corny/unbelievable. It was fun to write though. These two are such cutie-pies!**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

><p>As confident as Sirius made himself out to be in that moment, inside he was waging a battle with himself. He wanted Remus. He wanted him intensely, and if he were honest with himself, he'd wanted him from the moment they'd met. Remus was attractive, and what made him more attractive is that, unlike Sirius, he didn't seem to realize it at all. It was a kind of easy, casual beauty that he had, something that he didn't put any real effort into. But his good looks wasn't what truly drew Sirius in. If it had been looks alone, Sirius wouldn't be feeling so unsure. It may seem backwards to some people, but a relationship based solely on physical attraction was what Sirius was most comfortable with. It was the only kind of relationship he had any experience with and the easiness of such a relationship was calming to him. He wasn't tied down, wasn't responsible for, or to, anyone. It was the responsibility that reminded him of his family, and his 'place' in said family. It made him feel suffocated, and made him panic. That is what frightened him about this.<p>

His search for information about Remus had begun as a game, as something to occupy his time while he was staying in this 'school.' It was something that was only meant to keep him from being bored. But the more he learned, the more he started to feel that this was no game. He was not satisfied with merely learning his secrets any more. He wanted to do something that would make Remus happy. He kept remembering the smile he'd seen on his face the day before, and realized what a crime it was that it was so thoroughly robbed from him. He wanted to commit to Remus, to be his protector, his provider, his everything.

"Sirius?" Remus whispered quietly against his lips, wondering why Sirius had grown so still all of a sudden.

"Sorry." Sirius murmured, "Thinking too hard." He explained before closing his mouth over his again.

Remus had become surprisingly complacent once their lips had met. He lay back, stretched across Sirius's chest and stomach, his head resting on Sirius' hard shoulder, his mouth turned willingly toward him, opening obediently as he felt a hot tongue brush past his lips. The position was awkward, but neither of the boys wanted to break the kiss long enough to move. Remus held himself up by the side of the tub, though his body was still weak and Sirius could feel him quivering just slightly, though it was hard to be sure if it was from muscle strain or from arousal.

Opening his eyes, Sirius was able to glance down the expanse of Remus' body, his ribs jutting out just a little due to the arc of his spine as he tried to push further into the kiss. Jutting up from the now slightly dingy water, he could also see that the kiss was affecting him in just the way that Sirius had hoped it would. He was surprised by just how hard he was already, though. His cock lay against his stomach, and Sirius tried not to chuckle as he noticed it twitch every time he grazed Remus' lips with his teeth.

Keeping one hand holding him in the kiss he moved the other to Remus' chest, sliding it down his surprisingly toned body. He let each fingertip trail over a nipple, delighting as he felt his back arch a little harder and felt, more than heard, a small humming sound coming from Remus' mouth, swallowed hungrily by his own. Continuing his journey down Remus' body, Sirius took his time, tracing the little valleys that he found, made by flexing muscles until his fingertips brushed over the slick head that lay pressed against his stomach under his navel. He felt Remus jump in his lap and heard the gentle slosh of the bathwater.

"You're really turned on, aren't you?" Sirius teased gently against his lips as his fingers continued brushing back and forth across the swollen head, making Remus pant against his lips.

"Mm. So're you." He said breathily, swiveling his hips down against the answering erection he felt pressing against the small of his back.

"So I am…" Sirius hissed a little as he took in a deep breath, trying to not let the grinding motion get him overly excited.

Before Remus had a chance to respond, his mouth was captured again, Sirius trying to suck his soul out through his mouth again. Remus immediately surrendered to the sensation, his hips only gyrating in an attempt to get a firmer touch where he really wanted it.

Sirius figured he should give him what he was obviously wanting and let his fingers finally wrap around his shaft, giving it a squeeze and one long up-pull. Remus broke the kiss to gasp for breath, his body nearly coming off of Sirius'. Sirius felt that familiar thrill of self satisfaction, liking the idea that he could make his lovers squirm for more, but his reverie was short lived. His fingers had brushed over a protruding line that was decidedly not a vein and he felt his stomach tense apprehensively. He turned his gaze down his body again and moved his fingers, revealing a few small patches of hatched lines similar to those he found on other parts of Remus' body. His hand froze and Remus settled back down against Sirius' body, seeming to know that their heated exchange was over.

"Surprised?" Remus asked in a docile voice, his body starting to tense again for all the wrong reasons.

"You sleep with him?" Sirius found himself asking, his voice barely audible.

Sirius felt Remus' head nod slightly and he felt his stomach churn uncomfortably. It made some sense, now that he was thinking about it. It was just another way for Greyback to keep him feeling linked to him, and unfit to be with anyone else. He also realized that it may explain why Remus was so willing to go along with him now, and suddenly he felt guilty. He didn't want Remus to feel as though he had to give in to what he wanted.

After a moment of staring at those little white crisscrosses, Sirius wrapped an arm tight around Remus' chest and stood, taking him with him.

"Can you stand?" He asked softly, to which Remus only nodded.

Remus felt his legs shaking slightly as he stood in the tub. While he kept his features passive, he felt his insides squirming unhappily. It was only when Sirius had stopped that he realized how quickly he had surrendered to the other teen's desires. It had never crossed his mind to deny him, on the contrary, he was eager to reciprocate. He felt cold now, standing alone as Sirius stepped out of the tub and grabbed a towel. It wasn't so much surprising as it was disappointing. He had been surprised that Sirius was willing to touch him at all after seeing the words scrawled across his body, and had felt hopeful, but he should have known that a scarred cock and a used body would be too much for Sirius to forgive. He felt filthy all of a sudden, like the bath he'd just been sitting in had been full of grime and shame instead of water and soap. He mentally chastised himself for wanting Sirius so badly, and felt the urge to flee bubbling up inside him. Just before the pressure of his shame became too much to bare he felt a warm towel wrap around him, followed by Sirius' strong arms.

Remus remained silent as Sirius maneuvered him out of the tub and began drying him off. He watched as Sirius' face shifted from concentration, to disgust, to pity over and over as he dried him.

"You're disgusted, aren't you?" Remus asked, finding his voice expressing more vulnerability than he'd intended.

"With Greyback, Rem. Not with you." Sirius replied gently, bringing a corner of the towel up to dry his face. "There's nothing wrong with you."

Remus scoffed, but had to look up at the ceiling as he felt tears burning his eyes. He'd always wanted to hear those words, though it had been so long that he found himself unable to accept them.

"You're so full of shit." Remus said to the ceiling, his voice shaking and weak.

"You don't believe me?" Sirius asked softly.

"Of course I don't!" Remus shoved the towel away from himself, pushing it back into Sirius' arms, staggering away from him in the process. "Look at me!"

"That's exactly how he wants you to feel, Remus." Sirius was keeping his voice gentle, certain that Remus needed reassurance, not an argument.

"And that! Stop doing that! Stop acting like you know every god damned thing! And don't look at me like that!" He pointed accusingly at him. "You think that with your good looks and those fucking puppy dog eyes of yours you can get whatever or whoever you want! But you're wrong! You cant just take whatever you want! You cant just take me for yourself because you think you know what's best for me!"

Sirius watched Remus as he screamed at him, his only reaction being a look of understanding taking up residency in his eyes. He felt as though Remus was talking to someone else all together now, and figured that he was taking his anger toward Greyback out on him, and if that is what Remus needed right now, then that's what he'd give him.

"You don't know what's best for me!" Remus continued screaming, tears spilling down over his cheeks in rage. "And I hate it when you touch me! And I hate being near you!"

"I know, Rem." Sirius said gently, starting to make his way over to him, his arms extended as he slowly tried to get them wrapped around Remus' frame.

"I hate you so much! I hate you! I'd rather be locked back in the fucking clos-eh-het…" Remus was unable to get the final word out as his body jerked with a sob and he collapsed into Sirius' arms.

"Shhh…" Sirius held onto him tightly, trying to keep his own tears in check as he brought a hand up to the back of Remus' head, pressing his face into the juncture of his neck and shoulder. "I've got you now, Rem. I'm gonna keep you safe, okay. I promise." He whispered into his ear, though he was unsure if Remus could even hear him at this point.

They stood in the bathroom for a long time, Remus going back and forth from clinging to Sirius desperately to weakly trying to push him away, only to latch onto him again moments later. Finally, when he seemed to have calmed, Sirius led him out of the bathroom and sat him down on his bed, kneeling down in front of him, placing a hand on each of his cheeks so he could look directly at him.

"You alright now?" He asked softly, his thumb brushing over the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah." Remus croaked in a stuffy-nosed voice.

"I want to explain why I stopped what we were doing in the bath." Sirius began and had to tighten his grip on his face slightly as Remus tried to turn away, the shame rising back up in his eyes. "Listen to me." He insisted. "I stopped because I didn't want you to just go along with me because you thought you had to. I really want to keep going, I want to touch you really fucking badly, but I had to make sure that you were okay with it first. Everything we do is going to be your choice. Do you understand?"

Remus stared into his eyes, looking for some sign of dishonesty, some loophole that would leave him the victim.

"If you're not lying, then you're just stupid for wanting me." Remus finally said breathily.

"Well, you've known from the start that I'm not really one to be admired for my brains." Sirius joked with a smile, which only grew when he saw a matching expression rise to Remus' face, his eyes starting to glow again. "You're beautiful." He found himself saying more reverently than he expected.

Color rose up in Remus' face at the compliment, and for a moment he didn't seem to know what to do.

"Kiss me?" Was the only thing he managed to whisper, feeling that if he had to speak any further his heart would tear open and he'd spill all it's contents out for Sirius to take into his possession.

Sirius didn't need any more persuasion and his mouth closed gently over Remus' parted lips. The kiss they shared was slow, but intense for both of them. Remus felt a warmth that spread from where Sirius touched that began to fill him up, making his mind go mercifully blank. The fear he had of getting close to others, to this boy in particular, melted away and he pulled him closer, wishing he could just melt into him. He wanted to give up who he was, and just become part of Sirius instead. He needed him to be as close to him as possible.

It was surprising for Sirius, to feel Remus pull him into the kiss so eagerly, but he wasn't one to complain, and he pressed himself between Remus' legs, which opened accommodatingly for him. Bringing a hand up to his chin he pushed Remus' mouth further open as he tilted his head, his tongue pressing in as far as it could, wanting to claim every hallow in the other boy's mouth for himself. Their teeth bumped gently, but instead of being awkward, it only seemed to intensify their desire for each other. Soon they were both panting through their noses as they waged war in their mouths. They sucked and bit and tickled every centimeter of the other's soft orifice before finally having to break apart or risk fainting from oxygen deprivation. They panted into each other's mouths, not wanting to separate completely.

It was only then that Remus realized that his hands were fisted in Sirius's thick hair, pulling almost painfully on it. He loosened his grip and slide his fingertips over his scalp.

"Wow." Was all Remus was able to say, speaking it as a sigh.

"I'm only just getting started, Rem." Sirius promised, grinning wickedly at him as he slid his palms up Remus' thighs.

"I… I like it when you call me that." Remus said with a shyness that made Sirius painfully hard, and he felt himself pulse against the mattress that he was leaning against.

"I like _calling _you that." He said as he brushed his lips over Remus's again, smiling when he felt them part expectantly, then frown as he moved past them to kiss his chin.

Remus' only answer was to pant slightly as Sirius drew his lips back and forth along his jaw line, up to suck gently on his earlobe before moving down his neck to bite his collarbone. All the while his hands were massaging small circles into his thighs and Sirius could feel his legs part further and his hips jut forward gently in an attempt to get Sirius to touch him more intimately. Sirius finally took pity on him when he heard a pathetic whimper escape him, though it was drown out by a low growling moan as Remus felt long fingers wrap around his cock. He jerked and reached up, putting Sirius' shoulder in a vice-like grip as his hips started a thrusting rhythm into his hand.

Sirius could feel his mouth watering as he looked down at where he was holding onto Remus, letting him thrust gently into his fist, watching the head of his dick appear and disappear through the ring of his fingers. Without giving it much though he bent forward, positioning his lips at the opening his fingers made, catching the swollen tip of Remus' cock in his mouth on his next thrust.

As Remus felt the heated lips close around his head he was jerked out of his aroused stupor and jumped back further onto the bed. His eyes were like saucers as Sirius looked up at him, his lips red and shining with spit and precum.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, his aristocratic brows coming together in confusion.

"Th-that… it makes me nervous." Remus admitted quietly, though just staring at Sirius' swollen lips and tousled hair made him regret stopping him.

Remus expected, for a moment, for Sirius to get frustrated with him for putting the breaks on so many times, but instead he just smiled at him and licked his lip, as though savoring his flavor, a gesture which made Remus' cock twitch expectantly. Sirius' now gunmetal dark eyes fell to Remus' lap when he saw the twitch and then slid back up to his face, giving him a knowing look.

"I wont do it if that's what you want." He said softly, his lips still curled up in a seductive smile. "But I promise that I wont hurt you."

"I," Remus was feeling rather confused at the moment, torn between his nerves and his desire, "I know. I trust you."

Sirius's eyes flashed with an emotion that Remus couldn't quite place before he smiled even wider, guiding Remus' hands toward his hair, kissing one of his palms softly before laying them into the soft cushion of black strands.

"If I do anything you don't like, just tell me, or give me a tug, okay?"

Before Remus could respond, Sirius had ducked his head again, swallowing his prick whole before Remus had the chance to get nervous again. Remus tried to keep his eyes from rolling into the back of his head as his breath was driven from him, causing him to gasp for air a moment later, his hips trying to push up toward the comforting heat that surrounded him. He was amazed by how easily it was for Sirius to make him feel good. When he and Jona had made love it was a soft, slow tidal motion of feelings and sensations, with Sirius' lips stretched around his cock though, he felt like he was trapped in a maelstrom, being sucked, quite literally, down into oblivion. He could feel Sirius' head begin to move and he felt teeth scrape against the ridge of his head intentionally with each up-pull.

When Remus felt one of Sirius' hands move up to his chest and push him gently, he willingly fell back onto the bed, one hand still holding onto Sirius' hair while the other fisted the sheets, trying to find something to keep him from falling off the face of the planet. He didn't resist as Sirius pushed his legs farther apart. He could hear Sirius moaning hungrily around the flesh in his mouth, the sound mingling perfectly with the slick sound of lips and wet skin and sucking, though even that was hard to hear over his own desperate attempts to keep air in his lungs.

"S-Siri-uh! W-wait, I'm… I'm gonna-" He was having a hard time finishing his sentence as he tried weakly to pull Sirius off of him, not wanting to subject Sirius to the bitter taste of his climax.

Sirius refused to be pulled away, though. While one hand dug it's fingers into his thigh where he was keeping his legs held apart, the other came up to squeeze his sac gently, rolling each nodule between his elegant fingers. While Remus could not see what he was doing, the image of Sirius' beautiful hands touching him so intimately was too much for him, and a shout was ripped from his throat. He was still vaguely trying to pull Sirius off of him even as he felt Sirius's throat working to swallow his reward.

The room went in and out of focus for a few minutes while Remus tried to come down from his high, the continued feel of Sirius' hot mouth cleaning him and milking every drop from him not helping him to come around any faster. Eventually the heat was replaced by a surprisingly relieving chill and he felt Sirius' mouth begin brushing up his body, not seeming to be finished.

"Alright?" Sirius asked quietly against his belly.

Remus could hear the self satisfied smile in his voice and couldn't help but smile vaguely himself, his eyes still closed.

"Mm." He hummed in response, his whole body feeling pleasantly heavy.

"Well you better hold on, because I'm still not finished with you." He promised as a finger brushed past his spent cock, down to where Remus' succulent cheeks met.

Remus felt a sudden flood of panic as Sirius' finger brushed over his most intimate opening and he jerked, trying to prop himself up on an elbow.

"Wait!" He was suddenly embarrassed by how much fear he could hear in that one word.

He chastised himself for reacting that way. He'd just told Sirius that he trusted him. And it was obvious where all of this was going from the beginning, what Sirius would be expecting. He had gone along with it, even while he knew that it would come to this. It wasn't fair for him to deny Sirius what he wanted now, after leading him along for so long, but he still couldn't get that sick feeling to leave the back of his throat.

Sirius just smiled at him though, and it wasn't that dangerous smile that Greyback gave him when he did something like this. It was something he could only describe as a loving smile. It was gentle and understanding, and Remus wondered how many people got to see Sirius like this. He had not thought of it before, but while Sirius was learning all of his secrets, hadn't he been learning Sirius' secrets as well? Wasn't this smile one of Sirius' greatest secrets?

"It's fine, Rem. Why don't you lay back and get comfy. I'll take care of everything." Sirius reassured him as he got up from his position on the floor.

Remus was amazed to see just how hard Sirius was. He was shocked that he still had so much control over himself. He did as he was told, scooting back onto the bed, turning so his head was laying properly on the pillow, though his eyes never left Sirius, who was walking over to his own bedside table. As he walked Remus could see his cock bounce against his stomach, leaving little strings of precum as it did and Remus felt his mouth water. He wanted to reach out and grab Sirius, wanted to give him the same mind-blowing experiences that he'd just received. He wanted Sirius to be his.

As Sirius returned to the bed with a tube of lubricant, however, Remus felt his body tense again. Sirius seemed to notice his uncertainty and smiled gently at him as he slid one long, toned leg across Remus' hips so he was kneeling over him.

"It's gonna be fine, Rem. I'm not going to do anything that'll hurt." With his whispered promise his descended on him, capturing his mouth in another long, very distracting kiss.

Remus' hips pushed off the bed as he felt Sirius' overheated member press down against his and soon both boys were thrusting and rutting against each other. Remus was vaguely aware of the snapping sound of the lubricant tube, but was already so hard again that his mind didn't have time to linger on such trivialities, concerned only with pulling Sirius closer to him. He surprised himself by nearly growling as Sirius finally broke the kiss, moving away from him to sit upright where he was straddled over his hips. He had a strange smile on his face. His cheeks were surprisingly flushed and he had an expression that seemed to border on embarrassment as he smiled down at Remus. It was at that point that he noticed one of Sirius' hands had been occupying itself in ways Remus had not expected or noticed.

It was impossible for Remus to find words as he watched Sirius rise up on his knees, reach between his legs and slowly guide the tip of Remus' cock to his own opening that he had prepared himself during their kiss. Remus knew that his mouth had to be hanging open stupidly, as Sirius' grin flashed teasingly at him before his eyes fluttered shut.

Sirius was beautiful like that, Remus thought. He watched as the black haired teen's head rolled back, and could see the shiver that ran up his spine as the head of his impatient erection pressed into the now softened ring of muscle. Remus' back arched to match the bow in Sirius' spine, both of them opening their mouths silently as, inch by inch, Remus disappeared inside his new lover. When Sirius was sitting flush against Remus' pelvis they both took a moment to catch their breaths before he grinned down at him.

"This alright?" He asked teasingly, chuckling some as Remus just nodded wordlessly. "Good. You feel so good, Rem." He whispered, leaning forward to plant a kiss on his open lips.

Sirius remained in control for a long time, setting a slow pace as he rocked and swiveled his hips, Remus still feeling too dumbstruck to do anything but hold onto Sirius' thighs and try to keep himself from hyperventilating. He wasn't sure when his eyes had screwed themselves shut, but when he finally wrenched them open he felt a bolt of desire spear him to the mattress. Sirius' eyes were closed gently, his head tipped back, his mouth open around his low moans and Remus felt his desire peak suddenly.

A surprised yelp escaped Sirius' mouth as Remus surged forward without warning, pushing him onto his back and taking his position above him. Before Sirius' back had properly hit the mattress Remus had already begun a fierce pace, his hips snapping forward into Sirius in short, hard thrusts that left Sirius clinging desperately to the other boy's shoulders. Remus felt a surge of power and of raw passion as Sirius helplessly wrapped his legs around him. He'd never felt so confident as he did pounding into this cocky, teasing body. Sirius seemed to only be able to hold onto him, no longer capable of his witty quips and teasing lines, and Remus felt heady knowing that he was the one silencing him.

Lips and teeth met as they moaned and grunted into each others mouths. As another wave of confidence swept over Remus he reached between them, taking Sirius' cock in his fist and squeezing. Immediately, he felt the already tight muscle around his cock clamp down almost painfully, Sirius ripping his mouth away from his with a shout.

"Fuck, Remus!" Sirius sounded, genuinely surprised by the abruptness of his climax.

At the same moment Remus felt hot ribbons of heat hit his stomach he felt the coil in his own body snap and his face planted itself against Sirius' neck. He growled out his own climax, his teeth threatening to cleave flesh as he did so. He was only vaguely aware of the shiver that ran through Sirius' body as he came inside him

Once they had stilled, every last shiver and spasm finally milked from their bodies, they collapsed into the mattress. They were a tangle of hedonism, nothing but arms and legs and sated bodies trying to reacquaint themselves with reality. As Sirius began to come around Remus felt long fingers combing through his hair and kisses falling softly across his still sweaty forehead. When Remus was finally able to lift his head to look at him Sirius smiled crookedly, his eyes still half lidded and smoky.

"Alright?" He asked in a gravely tone, his throat sore from moaning.

"Yeah." Remus was able to choke out.

"Good." was all Sirius said in return, letting his own head fall back in exhaustion, though his fingers continued playing idly in Remus' hair.

They both laid together silently for a long time, enjoying the closeness, the feeling of chests rising and falling, of the faint beating of each others hearts, of breath tickling skin. Eventually the chill in the room began to sink into their naked bodies, and with a little effort they burrowed into the blankets of the still-made bed. Wrapped in their cocoon of body heat it wasn't long before they drifted into sleep, neither of them feeling the need for words.

* * *

><p><strong>**FUN FACT**<strong>

**I wrote the majority of this chapter while sitting in the café at Books-A-Million. I find this amusing, because it means that I was writing pornography while in a public place. I'm a good role model! X3**

*****FOR THOSE WHO CHOSE TO SKIP THE CHAPTER*****

**The most important thing that you have missed is that Sirius learned that not only had Remus and Greyback been engaging in sexual activity, there is also evidence that the relationship was abusive. Sirius finds small scars on Remus' privates that are very similar to those on the rest of his body, though they were not words. **

**Also, Remus has a small outburst in which he expresses his hatred for Fenrir, going against the things he's said previously about trusting Greyback and feeling as though what he does is for his own good. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry if some readers didn't like Sirius bottoming, but you can get over it. I did it to make a point in the story. Besides, I like men who can do both, so that's how it's gonna go. ^_^ **

**As far as warnings for this chapter goes, it's pretty tame. Some non explicit sexual content, but mostly fluff. I got a bit distracted with the fluffiness, but still got a few important plot points in there. Nothing too exciting going on, but I hope you enjoy it. I'm estimating 4-5 more chapters before the end, and then probably an epilogue. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Sirius had been sure that he'd gone to sleep in bed next to Remus, their bodies tangled up together in warmth, but as he woke up he realized he was cold, and only felt hard stone beneath him. As he struggled to his feet he found himself in his brother's funeral church again, the beams of colors shining islands on the black stone floor. On the far end of the sanctuary he saw his brother's coffin, but a quick look around failed to reveal his parents, or his unknown bride. He could feel relief at least for that.<p>

He made his way toward the casket, the echoing of his bare feet slapping against the stone floor the only sound in the black space he was in. He'd made this walk so many times since his brother's death. It was always a bittersweet feeling, being able to see Regulus again. He liked that he could see him like this, knowing that it kept him from truly being lost, but he was so tired of the pain he felt in his chest as he looked at his peaceful face, knowing that he would never wake up again. What he found, though, when he got up to the edge of the casket, is that his brother was not there. Instead he was looking at a very pale Remus who had taken his brother's place.

Sirius quickly looked around. This wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to go this way. Remus wasn't dead, he was still laying next to him, Sirius was certain of it. He imagined that he could still feel the warmth of him pressed against his real body. He reached into the coffin, touching his cheek to wake him.

_Remus? _he asked, his voice ghosting off the unseen walls. _Remus, wake up. _

He received no response, and tried giving his shoulder a shake instead, then brought his hand down to grip Remus' cold fingers. Looking down at the faintly blue tipped digits he felt himself grow rigid as a red, bloody line began to appear on the back of the other boy's hand, as though an invisible blade were cutting into him. As it pulled across his skin it began to form letters. Sirius felt a wave of nausea pass over him as the word "killer" was etched into him before his eyes.

_No!_ Sirius began rubbing at the wound in an attempt to erase it from his body.

Seeing bloody spots appearing under his shirt he tore it from the narrow body before he had considered his options.

_No! No, no! Stop it! _He shouted at the gooey lines that were simultaneously writing dozens of words across the expanse of the pale chest.

'Murderer,' 'butcher,' 'monster,' 'guilty.' Sirius was shouting incoherently, trying to knock away the invisible blade responsible, but finding himself only able to try and wipe the words away, slowly staining the other teen red as he did so. He was panicked, trying to keep the words from spreading up his neck onto the his cheeks, screaming for them to stop.

As the words crept up to Remus' face his eyes suddenly snapped open, the empty space instantaneously filled with the sound of him screaming as his body began to thrash in the casket. The shock sent Sirius tumbling back away from the casket, devastating screams spilling almost tangibly from above him. When Sirius got back to Remus' side he found that he was nearly covered by the soil that swallowed bodies like his up, and he immediately began trying to dig him out. Being so focused on what he was doing he paid little attention to the figure that had appeared on the other side of the casket, large and grim, but he recognized his deep voice as he began to repeat the conversation they'd had in the woods when Sirius had first been able to kiss Remus' gentle lips.

_Remus is very sick, Black. _Greyback said, his voice seeming to vibrate the whole room. _And your meddling has only made things worse for him. _

_Shut up! _Sirius screamed as he tried to empty the dirt from the coffin as quickly as it was filling.

_Do you know what that kind of experience can do to a child's mind? _He continued, his voice seeming to make Remus thrash harder, lines still carving themselves into his skin. _The rage he felt toward his parents still haunts him. It cant be controlled._

_I said shut up! You're the cause of this! _Sirius was trying to keep his rage from distracting him.

_Am I? _Greyback's voice was slow and solemn, and Sirius suddenly saw the bloodied knife in his own hand and realized he had been carving the words into Remus' body all along.

With a warbled sound of disgust he dropped the knife into the dirt and stumbled away from the casket.

_Did you really think you could help him?_

Sirius heard the familiar voice of his mother now and saw her standing at the foot of the coffin.

_A useless boy like you couldn't help anyone. You couldn't even save your own brother. _Her voice was cold as ice, and he could feel it seeping into his extremities.

_You're only making things worse. _Greyback chimed in.

_It should have been you that died. _His father's figure was now at the head of the coffin.

_Stop it. _Sirius tried to sound stern in an attempt to silence them, but his whole body was shaking.

_It should have been you that died. _Walburga said again, staring down her straight nose at him.

_Can't even kill yourself properly. _His father said with such disdain that Sirius felt tears sting his eyes.

_Can't save anyone. _

_Can't do anything. _

_Can't prove it was me. _

_Useless. _

_Weak. _

_Unwanted. _

_Unneeded. _

_Worthless. _

_Disappointing. _

_Pathetic. _

_You can't help Remus. _

The sound of their voices had grown to a cacophony that threatened to send Sirius over the edge. Through it all, faintly, he could make out the sound of Remus calling for him, only a scarred hand extending above the coffin, the rest of his body swallowed up by the dark soil. They were all going to keep him from saving him. He was going to be taken away from him, just like Regulus.

_Sirius… _

_I'm sorry, Rem… I'm sorry! _Sirius was in tears now, his hands clamped over his ears to stop the continuing onslaught.

* * *

><p>"Sirius." Remus shook the other boy's sleeping body gently. "Sirius, wake up."<p>

Remus had never seen the other boy like this, his face twisted up in panic and sadness, his breath uneven as he squirmed in his sleep. The way that Sirius always seemed so focused on his problems, he'd nearly forgotten that Sirius was still mourning the death of his brother. When he'd told him about Regulus, and his attempt to make his parents suffer by losing both their sons, he had delivered it in such a nonchalant way that it would be easy to brush aside as being unimportant, simply the act of a selfish boy. But the more he got to know the black haired teen, the clearer it became that he wanted people to think that. The tight smile he'd given him after his story hid more vulnerability and pain that Sirius would ever admit to.

"Sirius!" Remus finally raised his voice, giving him one hard shake, which successfully woke him.

Wide eyes looked up at him, but relaxed an instant later when he realized he was still laying comfortably in bed with Remus. He sighed and laid his head back in the soft pillow.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked gently, his brows twisted up in concern.

Sirius found himself smiling suddenly as he realized that this was the first time Remus had ever asked him about his well-being. Not that he wanted to be fussed over. He preferred to not talk about his problems, especially to someone like Remus who clearly had bigger problems than he did. But knowing that Remus could look that way, and that he cared enough about him to ask, flooded Sirius' body with warmth and he reached up to touch his cheek gently.

"I'm fine, Rem." He said a little more reverently than he'd intended, but immediately decided that it was exactly what he'd meant to express.

It was when Remus smiled softly at him that he realized that he was in very deep. This boy was under his skin, and surprisingly enough, he liked him being there.

"Sorry if I woke you." Sirius said, not bothering to lift his head, thumb brushing against the corner of Remus' lips where he was perched over him on an elbow.

"It's fine." Remus said a little bashfully, trying to control the tug at his mouth that was trying to force him to smile.

"How'd you sleep?' Sirius asked, wanting to know if his technique to distract him worked at least as well at Greyback's sick option.

The expression on Remus' face let Sirius know that he was aware of the weight of the question, as he seemed a little uncertain for a moment before a smile slowly softened his features. It was the kind of smile that Sirius had seen in the forest, and Sirius felt his body tingle with excitement.

"Perfectly." Was all that Remus said in response.

Sirius heaved a huge sigh of relief. He needed this to work. He needed to show Remus that there are gentler ways to help relieve him. Ways that didn't include Greyback.

"Thank you, Sirius. For what you did last night." Remus said softly, his eyes moving down the other boy's jaw, as though avoiding looking him in the eye.

"For what?" Sirius laughed. "The mind-blowing sex? Don't worry about it, it's a specialty of mine."

Remus paused and looked back at his eyes. Sirius may not have realized, but all the time that he'd spent trying to learn about Remus, in turn, Remus had been learning about him. He knew that Sirius hid behind his attitude and boasting, and saw straight through him.

"I'm talking about you letting me…" Remus' let his voice trail off toward the end, feeling suddenly embarrassed to put words to his thoughts.

"Letting you top?" Sirius finished for him.

"Yeah." He agreed quietly.

"You don't need to thank me for that. I mean, you saw that I was enjoying myself. It's not like it was torture." His voice still had a chuckle behind it.

"I know you don't usually bottom." Remus said suddenly with a sternness to his voice that made Sirius stop laughing.

"Oh? How do you know that?" He asked, his voice docile.

"You kept clenching when you should have been relaxing. You were clenching at the parts where it hurts to clench. That and I could tell by your face that I was hurting you." His voice faded with a twinge of guilt.

Sirius could see on his face that he was in the process of comparing himself, and what he had done the night before, to Greyback and what he did to Remus. Sirius took the other boys face in one hand, turning his eyes to meet his.

"Look at me, Rem. I'm fine" he reassured him, hoping to calm his guilt. "If it had hurt too much I would have stopped you. But," He hesitated a moment, feeling an uncharacteristic sense of embarrassment. "you're right. I've only bottomed one time before last night, and I don't really like to."

Remus began to shake his head, guilt filling him up again.

"You should have told me. You shouldn't have let me do that to you." Remus' head was shaking slightly, trying to remove itself from Sirius' long fingers.

"Stop it, Remus. Look at me." He waited as Remus quietly obeyed him. "I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't wanted to. Don't feel guilty about it. It was something I wanted to give you." He paused before smiling gently at him. "Think of it as a really expensive gift. Alright?"

"I'm sorry I was too afraid to do it instead." Remus said pathetically after a long pause.

"Nonono, none of that." Sirius admonished lightly as he gave Remus' ear a tug, as though mimicking a school teacher or a nun. "No apologizing. You only need to do what you want, when you want. Got it? I don't want anything from you before you're ready to give it to me. You'll insult me if you keep apologizing." He moved his hand back to Remus' chin and tipped his own nose a little. "I happen to be a _gentleman._" He finished in a snooty voice.

Remus stared at him a second before a grin finally split hi features and he started laughing, his head dropping down to Sirius' chest. Sirius felt his body warm up at the sound of Remus' laugh. This one was longer and hardier than the chuckle he'd heard in the woods, and it filled him to bursting with all sorts of clichéd greeting card-worthy fuzzy feelings.

"You don't believe me?" He asked teasingly. "I'm descended from nobility you know."

Remus found that he couldn't stop himself once he'd started laughing. Rationally, Sirius's mocking accent that he'd put on, making him sound like a hoity-toity socialite, wasn't as funny as it felt at the time. It was like his body was making up for all the time it'd spent _not _laughing, and before long, Sirius had rolled him back over on the bed, looming over him and admonishing him in his ridiculous voice for laughing at "The Most Wealthy and Snooty House of Black." It really wasn't as funny as his laughter made it out to be, and it was only because of the feeling of Sirius' mouth suddenly covering his that he was able to stop at all. For all of his giddiness, Remus felt instantly calm when he tasted Sirius' tongue as it slid past his lips, his own arms snaking up around the other boy's neck before realizing he'd told them to.

The kiss they shared was slow and less consuming than the night before, but peaceful feeling. As Sirius' tongue migrated back to his own mouth he began placing kisses over Remus' still parted lips, to his jaw line, then up to the corners of his eyes. Remus felt strangely worshiped under Sirius' attention and he found his chest aching with a happiness he hadn't felt in a long time.

"You smell like grass." his eyes were closed as the words slipped past his lips, not even realizing he'd spoken until Sirius stopped what he was doing to look down at him.

"What?" He asked with a curious smile on his face.

Remus felt his face go red. He had never told Jona that he thought he smelled like violets. He'd always thought his strange fascination with the smell of people would make him seem silly or, worse, creepy. He didn't figure that people would want to know that he sniffed at them when he had the opportunity. Remus looked stubborn, as though he would refuse to explain.

"No, you have to tell me now." He teased gently.

"You," Remus began before pausing to sigh, feeling foolish, "you smell like cut grass." He paused and took a breath in through his nose, his mind going a little blurry. "And spring time, and freshly turned soil, and wind that comes off of the water…" He trailed off, noticing that Sirius' smile had gotten wider and wider. "Don't make fun of me!" He pouted unintentionally as he gave Sirius' shoulder a shove.

"I'm not. That was beautiful." he was still grinning down at him. "Do you like all those smells?" He asked, biting his lip around a grin when Remus nodded. "Well then let me see what you smell like."

With that there was another flurry of arms and legs and shouting as Sirius buried his nose against Remus' skin, determined to smell every inch of his body. Their wrestling dissolved into erotic touches, and soon, both boys had a fist wrapped around the other's straining erection. They were holding onto each other with their free arms and panting into the other's face as their lips brushed together, meeting occasionally to exchange a deep kiss. If asked, neither could have been sure who came first, all that Remus knew was that Sirius was now massaging their shared fluids into his flat stomach.

"Not a bad way to start the morning, is it?" He asked cheekily before sucking a few of his fingers clean.

Remus had to avert his eyes to keep from getting hard all over again, but was rewarded with a chuckle for his embarrassment.

"We should clean up." He said as he pried himself away from Sirius, who sat up behind him.

Together they made their way into the bathroom where this had all started the night before. Remus noticed a smear of blood on the tiled floor where he'd sat shaking. He knew that he should feel more devastated about the puppies. His heart still ached when he thought of them, and their lives that were taken from them. But the deep, bone breaking guilt that he should be feeling had evaporated with Sirius' adamant accusation of Greyback. It was true that he couldn't recall doing it himself. But his fits always left him with blank spaces in his memories. And his fits couldn't have been only an excuse for Fenrir to kill, because he had plenty of fits where he came around to find that he'd been kept under control and no one had been hurt. He still blacked out. Wasn't that evidence that the fits were legitimate?

Sirius could see Remus' mind working, and hoped that he was coming to the correct conclusions. He felt a pang of uncertainty as he began cleaning Remus' body, his soapy hands moving over the raised flesh of the other boy's scars. The dream he'd pushed to the back of his mind suddenly returned to him, and he felt overwhelmed. He had to keep Remus safe, but was suddenly unsure if he could. As soon as the uncertainty crossed his mind he pulled Remus back against his body in order to banish it.

"I'm not going to let him do this to you any more." Sirius said quietly into the other teen's ear, a hand splayed across the scarred name on his chest. "I'm going to keep you safe."

Remus had grown stiff in his arms, his muscles twitching every so often, as though on edge to flee. As Sirius tried to pull him a little closer, he continued.

"I've proven that you don't need him to help you sleep any more, right? And I'm going to prove that he was the one who killed Jona and the puppies." His declaration was surprisingly intense for his docile tone.

Half way through Sirius' sentence Remus began to squirm, trying to pull himself from the other boy's clutches, his head shaking on it's own as he felt a hopeless fear bubbling up inside him.

"Sirius…" he began, the single name telling it's owner to drop the subject. "Stop avoiding this, Remus. I'm going to put a stop to it." He insisted.

"You're wasting your time." Remus' voice was surprisingly harsh as he finally pulled himself out of Sirius' grasp.

"Wasting my time?" Sirius sounded personally insulted. "You think _this_ is a waste of my time?" As he spoke he took hold of Remus' arm, yanking him around to expose his scarred chest to him.

His other arm was quickly caught as well, keeping Remus from covering himself, leaving him with a feeling of vulnerability that left him a bit shaken.

"That's not what I meant!" Remus tried to defend himself, his body twisting in an attempt to get free of the bruising grip. "I meant that there isn't anything you can do to stop it!"

"Damn it, Remus!" Sirius suddenly shouted, yanking the tanned figure toward him. "Haven't you been listening to a fucking thing I've said? That's what he wants you to think! He _wants _you to feel helpless, _and _hopeless! He's using those emotions to control you, to keep you under his thumb! And don't underestimate me! There are lots of things I can do. For starters, I can go to Slughorn about all this."

Something seemed to snap inside Remus, and Sirius found himself shoved with such force that he lost hold of the other boy and stumbled against the tiled wall. Looking back at Remus he saw his body trembling with fury.

"Are you stupid!" Remus shouted at him. "Do you really think that I haven't tried that already? You think the first time he hurt me I just rolled over and took it? Fuck you! I've fucking tried going to Slughorn! I've tried a lot of fucking things, and I'm telling you that there isn't a god damned thing you can do because I've fucking tried!"

Sirius found him wildly beautiful like this, filled to capacity with raw emotion. He couldn't stop staring. Even the way the other boy's vocabulary disintegrated, leaving only vulgarities and repetition to take up space, seemed beautiful to him. The water hitting his back seemed to almost steam off of him. It didn't seem to matter if it was anger or joy, Sirius just knew that passion was what this boy was meant to exhibit.

"Slughorn didn't believe you?" Sirius asked, his docile voice visibly cooling Remus' temper.

"…No." Remus said, his voice softening, and his shoulders relaxing. He brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he eased his temper, knowing that Sirius was only trying to help him. "Greyback somehow knew that I would go to him. The next thing I know my room was being searched. They found pills stashed in my desk like I'd been hiding them instead of taking them."

"He set you up?" Sirius stated more than asked.

"Something like that." Remus said as he opened the shower curtain, stepping out to grab a towel.

"Well, maybe if I go to him with you. As a witness." Sirius pressed, following him out of the shower.

"No, Sirius."

"You can't just sit back and do nothing!" He tried to keep from shouting, but it was obvious that his temper was just under the surface, his helplessness making him feel angry.

Instead of getting angry, this time Remus turned around and kissed him softly on the lips, resting a hand on his chest soothingly. When he felt the pale body beneath his hand relax he continued.

"I think that… there may be a slight chance… that you _could _be right… about Fenrir…" He was having a hard time finding his words.

"Killing Jona." Sirius finished sternly for him.

"Yes. But I'm not entirely sure yet. I do believe you about this…" He said, placing a hand over his chest. "I don't want this to happen any more. But you have to give me some time to sort this out. Alright?" He turned pleading eyes on him.

Sirius knew that he was right. This was a huge upset in his life. He would need time to adjust. He just hated the idea of letting Remus out of his sight with Greyback nearby.

"I don't want you to go back to see him." Sirius said resolutely.

"We don't have a choice about that." Remus said in resigned voice, shaking his head slightly.

"Why not? Just don't go to see him!" Sirius snapped.

"That'll only make things worse." He said, turning and leaving the bathroom to change clothes.

Sirius followed behind him, refusing to let up on this.

"You can't expect me to just sit around and let you go back to a guy that I know is doing this kind of stuff to you!"

"Yes you can."

"You're gonna go see him right now, aren't you?" Sirius said in a disbelieving voice, something about the solemn way that Remus dressed giving him away.

"Just drop it, Sirius. It's not any different than it's been since you got here." He said, pulling a shirt over his head.

The two continued to argue as Remus finished dressing, Sirius finally pulling his sleeping pants back on. In the end, however, Sirius lost, and Remus was gone. The room was disturbingly quiet as Sirius sat on his bed, staring at the messy sheets across from him, feeling like he'd never see Remus again.

Remus had been right, though. In the course of their argument, Sirius realized that Remus had tried everything that Sirius had thought of, from calling the police to running away. None of his plans seemed to work. Greyback was always a step ahead of them. Sirius suddenly felt a spark of inspiration fill him, though, and his stomach churned excitedly. If he couldn't get Greyback to the police, then he would have to get the police to Greyback.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone, thanks for sticking around for chapter 11. I'm finding the climax of the story intimidating, but I'm going to do my best to work through it. I find this sort of thing the hardest. **

**Not much in the way of warnings for this chapter, save for the normal foul language, and discussion of illegal activities. Obviously I do not necessarily condone the things I make them do. But who ever suggested the marauders were good role models? ^^;; **

**Anyway, thanks for the reviews, especially from PenNameless1994 , Lizzy0308 , TechNomaNcer28 , Coja, and The Erumpent Horn , all of whom have been very generous with their continued reviews. Of course I appreciate all of my other readers as well. **

**Reviews make my day! Enjoy the story!**

* * *

><p>Sirius felt like some kind of caged animal as he paced back and forth in the now empty room. The silence seemed overwhelming, leaving little holes that the echoing voices he'd heard in his dream the night before could slip through. With every thought he had, he heard his mother's voice sneering, telling him what a stupid boy he was for thinking something so outlandish could help anyone. They were right, though. Every idea he had seemed worse than the one before it, but what were his options?<p>

He had to find a way not only to get the police into the school, but a way to show them what a monster Greyback was while they were here. There were no phones available for the residents there. The classrooms didn't even have them. He supposed that the teachers' quarters would have them, but that wing of the building was nigh impenetrable, given the heavily locked doors and security cameras. He supposed that causing enough ruckus to bring the police there wouldn't be too difficult, but making them believe him about Greyback was another story. Before he could finish formulating a plan his high tension had him out in the halls, moving purposefully toward the room that James and Peter shared. He was going to need help on this.

When James opened the door it was clear that he had still been in bed, his hair sticking up in ways that defied gravity.

"D'you know what time it is?" He slurred at him, a hand tried to rub the sleep gunk from his eyes.

"I need help." Sirius said with such force that James didn't protest when he pushed past him into the room. "From both of you."

Peter squealed incredulously as Sirius yanked the blanket off of him where he was still trying to feign sleep in his bed. He was ignored, though, and Sirius took a seat on the side of his bed, looking at James meaningfully as he sat down across from him. It was clear that James had read the severity of the situation. He leaned forward, elbow propping him up on his spread knees as he looks back at Sirius just as intensely.

"About Remus?" He asked.

"Yeah." Sirius shook his head. "I dunno how much I can tell you." he admitted, not sure if he would be betraying Remus's trust if he divulged everything.

"You almost scared the piss out of me." Peter grumbled as he sat up in bed, wrapping the blanket around himself and glowering.

"Shut it, Pete." James said without having to raise his voice, his eyes never leaving Sirius'. "If it's this important, you don't need to tell us anything."

Sirius felt a flood of appreciation for the friend he'd found in James. His ability to read Sirius, to know when joking would be appropriate or appreciated, and when action was what mattered, was astounding. Sirius couldn't stop his tight smile, reaching out to put a hand on James' shoulder, squeezing it in thanks.

"What are you two idiots on about?" Peter asked, clearly not able to pick up on the unspoken conversation that had gone on between the two taller boys.

"Damn it, Peter!" James suddenly bellowed at him. "If you'd fucking pay attention, you'd not have to ask so many stupid-ass questions! Its obvious that Sirius is here because Remus is in trouble!" He looked back at Sirius, "Right?"

"Right…" Sirius said, obviously pained by the thought.

James' expression softened a little and he grinned, almost as if he were about to tell a joke.

"Its hard when its someone you love, ey?" His voice was light, as though amused that he was able to uncover something so secret, though his tone had not mal intent .

"What?" Peter nearly spat from surprise.

Sirius felt heat rise from his body to his face as he stared at James.

"You bloody psychic or something?" He muttered at him, causing James to beam, obviously proud of himself.

"Nah. Just observant." James said. "Not that you've been very good at hiding it."

"Didn't even realize it was happening…" Sirius admitted, his voice quiet as he tried to pinpoint the exact moment that he'd fallen so hopelessly for Remus.

"That's what I figured." James said before leaning back in, ignoring Peter's continued sputtering. "But that's not what's important right now, is it? What's happened?"

Sirius shook his head again, not sure what, if anything, he should tell them, but he figured having them work blind could damage his plans. He would just have to explain to Remus that it was necessary, and if he had to make Remus angry with him in order to save him, then so be it.

"It's Greyback. He's doing something horrible to him. I have to get the police here." He said, his eyes pleading for them to not ask any more questions.

"You've had it out for Mr. Greyback since you got here." Peter said with a hint of disbelief in his voice. "Ever think maybe you're just jealous?" He said, his voice mired in sarcasm, obviously uncomfortable with the knowledge that Sirius might be in love with a murdering psychopath, and another man.

"You shut your fat mouth!" Sirius suddenly turned on him, making Peter jump and pull his blanket around himself more tightly. "You and your god damned rumors are part of the problem!"

"Relax Sirius." James said, standing up and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Don't scare him too badly, I don't want my room smelling like piss."

Sirius huffed and turned away from the blonde boy, feeling like he'd hit him if he had to look at him a moment longer. His temper was already dangerously close to the surface due to his anxiety.

"Look, Pete. Think about it. You've always wanted to be the one with all the best gossip. You help us, and all the juicy stories are gonna be yours. Imagine the scandal if it turns out a teacher has been abusing a student? A student who was _framed _for murder? Seems like a pretty big scoop to me." James bribed him openly.

The bribery was obviously working. They could both see Peter's eyes sparkling with interest, imagining the rapt attention of his audience as he relayed the coming story to them. He was easily bought.

"Right." James said, now that he'd made peace in the room. "So we need the police here. Thoughts?"

"I have an idea. At least for the first half of my plan." Sirius said as he got up and went to the desk, tearing a page from a notebook and grabbing a pen. "I'll need some things to make it work though. Sneaking out to get them will be too risky, so we'll have to find them somewhere here."

As he spoke he began scribbling out a list, the other boys coming up to look over each of his shoulders..

"Peter's on kitchen duty this week. He could get you the jugs and the oil I bet." James said.

"You want me to steal?" Peter sputtered incredulously.

"Do you want the story or not?" James snapped. "All the most heroic stories have the protagonists having to break rules to do what's right."

"This is a side of you I've never seen, James." Sirius commented flirtatiously, grinning as he continued his list.

"I see where you're going with this. There's a grounds keeper's shed near the east gate. I bet they have some gasoline there for the mower. I can get you that." James said with a hint of mischief in his voice.

"God, I could kiss you right now, mate." Sirius said appreciatively.

"No offense, but save that for your new boyfriend." James slapped him on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

As they continued making their plans Peter had a look somewhere between terror and disgust on his face, but the thought of relaying the story later on kept him from fleeing from the room. They didn't have time to get past the list of materials before they heard the chimes that told them classes would be starting soon. Tearing the list into thirds he handed pieces to his friends and shoved the final piece into his own pocket.

"I'll see you two at lunch." He said quickly before leaving, having to go back to his room to get his bag.

"So, d'you think he's finally lost it?" Peter asked after the door swung shut.

"You have no sense of adventure, Peter." James rolled his eyes, walking off to the bathroom.

* * *

><p>By the time that lunch rolled around Sirius was obviously on edge. He hadn't seen Remus at all that day, and having to sit through Greyback's class didn't help his nerves. He was feeling more and more confident that the first part of his plan would work, though he still hadn't sorted out what he would do once the police had arrived, and he was wondering if Remus was going to be around for him to save, his mind playing every horrible scenario it could come up with to explain Remus' absence.<p>

"Alright, there?" James asked as Sirius took the seat across from him. "You look like shit."

"Well what'd you expect?" He asked, looking up and down the aisle he sat on, as though checking for eavesdroppers. "Any luck?"

"Not yet. With classes in it's hard to get away." He said, shaking his head.

"That's fine. I haven't been able to get away to find anything either. But fuck, I thought I was going to lose my mind having to sit through that bastard's class. I wanted to smash his head into the god damned chalkboard."

James shook his head slowly. He'd never seen Sirius look so angry before. While he had not known the other boy for more than a few months he had always seemed to be relatively easy going. Overly nosey and curious, but usually accepting. Whatever it was that had him this angry must be rooted in something innately wrong.

"I don't think that you're going to be able to help anyone if you're sitting in jail for assault, mate." James said sympathetically. "What's he done?"

The honest wonder in James' voice put Sirius at ease. He'd been torn on whether he should divulge the information he'd learned to any one else. It was obviously private for Remus, and very sensitive. But with Peter and his flapping mouth absent, Sirius felt comfortable enough to give him an explanation.

He'd planned to give him a short synopsis of the situation, but once he started talking he found himself unable to stop. In the end, he'd told James everything, barely pausing to breathe. He told him about finding Remus with the puppies, and had to force himself to move on when he realized he'd spent several minutes trying to describe how beautiful Remus' laugh and smile were. He told him about their kiss and about the 'fits' and the puppies' murder. He told him about the scars and how Remus had been so brainwashed that he thought they were a good thing. He even told him about Remus being too terrified to bottom, and that he was certain it was because Greyback had hurt him by forcing him to do so. He ended his tirade by trying to explain his theory of how Greyback had made Remus believe that he was the one who had killed Jona.

James had listened intently the whole time, his expression remaining understanding and supportive the, even during parts that may make a straight boy his age uncomfortable. He simply nodded in understanding.

"So… do you think I'm reading too far into it?" Sirius asked uncertainly.

"I think that we better find the shit on this list as soon as we can." He shook his head. "If everything you're saying is true, then we need to get that fucker put away."

Sirius grinned, relieved that he now had someone he could turn to who understood. He didn't regret telling him a thing, and felt certain that the information would stay between them. They spent the rest of their time at lunch quietly going over their plan of action.

* * *

><p>Remus was relieved to be going back to his room, wanting to see Sirius and apologize to him for the exchange they'd had that morning. He also wanted to relieve the worry he knew the other boy would be fostering, as he'd not had the chance to see him during the day. He thought that Sirius would be relieved to know that Fenrir had been nothing but kind to him that day.<p>

He'd asked him about the puppies, saying that he'd found them dead when he'd gone to feed them. He asked if Remus had experienced a fit. Remus found himself unsure of how to answer the question. He had woken up in the forest with the dead puppies, and had he been asked twenty-four hours ago if he'd had a fit, he would have immediately said 'yes.' But having heard Sirius assert so vehemently that the fits were a lie and simply a way for Fenrir to control him, he found himself suddenly unsure.

Fenrir had pressed him for information though, and quickly got Remus to admit that he had woken up in the forest, and that it had appeared as though he'd killed them. He could feel that deep pit of guilt still squirming in his stomach as he made his way down the hall. He'd been unable to keep himself from falling into tears, Fenrir seeming all too happy to comfort him. He let Remus stay in his office to rest and compose himself instead of attending classes. When Fenrir returned in the evening they spent some time talking about Remus' fits. It was a kind of counseling that Fenrir often gave him, but nothing else happened. After taking his medication he was told he could return to his room.

As he opened the door, however, any feeling of relief fled from him. He froze in the door. Sirius was sitting on the floor with two other boys that Remus often saw him with. Sirius had never brought other people into their room, mostly out of respect for Remus' privacy. He had liked the easiness he'd begun to feel around Sirius. He liked that he could let his guard down around him, and could, for the most part, be himself when they were together. It was a kind of sanctuary, and now with the presence of the two boys who were staring at him as though they'd been caught in bed with their best friend's lover, he felt that sanctuary disappear.

"Remus!" Sirius suddenly jumped up, rushing over to the door, closing it behind him so he couldn't escape. "Hey, I wasn't sure when you'd be back."

Remus didn't speak, but gave Sirius a look that was screaming "Why are they here?"

"Relax, Rem." He said as he pulled the brown haired boy into a soft hug.

Remus was looking over Sirius' shoulder as he was hugged, watching the others watching them. He knew their names. It was hard not to in such a small school. James had a look on his face that reminded him of a look Sirius got sometimes. It was a look that said that he was going to make things better, that he was there to protect. Peter, however, Remus saw make a face that barely hid his disgust. Remus knew Peter better than James. He knew his reputation as a gossiper. He knew that he was where quite a few rumors about himself had started.

"They're going to help us. Okay? I have a plan to make everything right." Sirius was holding Remus by his shoulders now, staring intensely into his eyes.

"Sirius…" Remus began, his head shaking slightly, wanting to tell him that he was overreacting.

"Come on. I want you to meet them properly." Sirius said, not giving Remus a chance to argue.

Remus was unable to stop himself from being pulled over to where the other two had stood up. James took his hand lightly as Sirius introduced them. His handshake was firm but gentle, and the look he gave him was an apology and a promise to help all at once. Peter didn't offer a hand to shake when he was introduced, just raising a hand in a mock wave as he forced a tight smile on his face, obviously uncomfortable.

"We're really sorry about how everyone's been treating you." James said sincerely. "We should have known better than to believe stupid rumors. Right, Pete?" He looked to Peter, who was staring wide eyed at Remus, and had to give him a nudge with his elbow.

"Oh. Right. Real sorry." Peter mumbled.

Remus didn't bother stopping the glare that rose to his eyes as he looked at Peter, though he had an urge to chuckle when he saw an expression of terror sweep across the other boy's features.

"What are you doing?" Remus found himself asking as he saw the detritus that was covering their floor.

"Well," Sirius began, seeming uneasy about explaining. "I remember you saying that you'd tried to call the police before, but that it didn't work. So I figured that we'd skip a step, and bring the police here." He leaned down and picked up a jug that had a piece of torn cloth taped into the top. "And we're going to bring them here with these."

Remus stared at him for a long time, not sure what he should say. It was at this point that he noticed the window was open, obviously to alleviate the now subtle sent of gasoline that was in the room.

"Are you crazy?" He suddenly asked.

"Probably." Sirius said after a pause.

Remus pinched between his eyes, feeling exhausted all of a sudden, Sirius's plans of arson not helping.

"You could kill someone with those." He pressed, not opening his eyes to look at any of them.

"We've planned it all out." Sirius said, setting the jug down. "No one's gonna get hurt. Unless something goes really wrong, that is."

"You're not very convincing." Remus said irritably, making Peter squirm.

"Rem, are you alright? You don't look so good." Sirius' voice was suddenly concerned as he took his shoulders again.

"Come on, Peter. We should go. It's late and they'll be calling curfew soon." James said as he started repacking the things into the bag he'd brought them in. "We'll take this stuff back to our room."

Remus could hear Peter whining about not wanting to smell gas fumes all night, but his head was throbbing, and he wasn't paying him much attention.

"I'm fine." Remus insisted as Sirius fussed over him. "I'm just tired."

"Well come on, lay down. I'll help the guys clean up."

Remus didn't argue as Sirius guided him over to his bed and sat him down. He watched as Sirius helped them stuff everything into the two bags they'd brought, being particularly careful with the assembled incendiary device. He never expected the dark haired teen to go to such lengths for him. This plan of his was stupid and reckless, and strangely flattering. He could go to jail for this, they all could. He was torn between wanting Sirius to fix everything, to make everything better the way he'd promised, and wanting him to not take such stupid risks. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to Sirius because of him.

He was so wrapped up in staring at Sirius that he didn't notice the suspicious looks that Peter kept giving him. The shorter boy was obviously uncomfortable being in the same room as him, seeming to expect him to pull a knife at any second. He was also the first one gone when they made it to the door.

"He doesn't look very good." James said quietly to Sirius as they stood in the doorway.

"It's fine. He looks like this sometimes when he gets back. I'll take care of it." He reassured him, squeezing his forearm affectionately before seeing him off.

With the room now back to normal, Sirius made his way over to Remus' bed, sitting down next to him and running a hand over the back of Remus' head, his fingers combing through his hair.

"You alright? I was worried about you today." He said quietly.

"I'm fine." Remus said, unable to stop the comfortable smile that tugged at his lips. "Nothing happened. We only talked."

Remus leaned against the strong figure beside him, sighing as he felt his arm wrap around his shoulders, making him feel secure. He could scarcely remember the annoyance he'd felt when he first met this boy. He wasn't even sure when those feelings had fully disappeared, though he _was _sure that it was sooner than he would like to admit.

"I don't want you putting yourself in danger for me." He found himself saying before he could really consider his words. "Or getting yourself arrested for that matter."

"Well, I appreciate your concern." Sirius said softly, kissing him on the side of his head. "But you don't really have much of a say in this."

Remus could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke and couldn't help but snort a little, half amused, half annoyed by his cocky attitude. He felt all of his worries evaporate as he felt Sirius' warm lips start teasing his ear. A smile softened his features and his shoulders relaxed as he tilted his head to give Sirius the access his lips were wanting. He sighed as they trailed down his jaw line and his eyes were already closed by the time he turned his head into the kiss.

Remus felt his bones to turn to liquid as Sirius guided him down onto the mattress, his comforting weight on top of him. He felt as though the heat and weight of Sirius' body was a shield between himself and the world, and thought that he wouldn't mind staying just like this, kissing Sirius, for the rest of his life. He felt that he had to break the kiss much sooner than he'd wanted to so that he could catch his breath, that liquid feeling having spread to his extremities and he felt like his body was suddenly full of sand. He realized he was having a hard time pulling his eyes open.

"Are you alright, Rem? You look like you're about to fall asleep." Sirius's warm hand was brushing the hair out of his face.

"M'sorry." Remus heard himself slur a little. "M'just really tired."

"Well lets sleep then, okay?"

Sirius pushed himself off the bed, feeling slightly concerned as Remus didn't move, almost looking as though he were asleep already. Carefully he removed Remus' shoes and socks, then moved on to the rest of his clothes.

"Do you want your pajamas?" He asked quietly, receiving only a slow shake of Remus' sleepy head as an answer.

Sirius sighed, deciding to leave the other boy's boxers on him. Stripping down to the same state he pulled the blankets out from under Remus and slid in beside him, wrapping their bodies up together. Remus stirred enough to snuggle up against him, but was almost immediately asleep.

* * *

><p>Sirius was extremely comfortable, though it didn't seem to help him sleep. He was still feeling jittery and full of excited energy. He laid with his eyes closed for a long time, not sleeping, but barely awake. His mind was still cycling through all of the plans he'd made. He wasn't sure what he would do when the police arrived, and he wasn't sure when he should start his plan. But he would have to think of something. He wasn't sure how much longer Remus could go on the way he had been. He also wasn't sure how long he could last before he assaulted Greyback and landed himself in jail.<p>

He was vaguely aware of their door opening for a bed check, as was customary around this time of night. He was surprised that it was so late already and he wondered briefly if they would get into trouble for being in the same bed, but he soon heard the door shut again and didn't think much of it. He felt himself start to wander toward sleep again when he was jolted awake by the heavy feel of a body falling on top of him. Thick, calloused hands were around his neck before he could make a noise. Opening his eyes that felt ready to burst because increased pressure in his head, he saw the dark shadowed figure of Greyback looming above him, his teeth bared in a sick imitation of a grin. Remus had not moved a muscle beside him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone! Welcome to chapter 12! I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. I'm pretty nervous about it! **

**I'm going to try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can, but don't be too surprised if it takes me longer than normal, as it is going to be the final true chapter to the story. I am planning an epilogue after chapter 13, but chapter 13 will be the climax of the story. Because of this I want to take my time and make sure that it is perfect. **

**Reviews are always appreciated!**

**No real warnings to speak of other than violence and language.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Time seemed to slow down, and for a moment Sirius thought that he was just having a new rendition of his nightmare, though the clammy feeling of thick fingers around his neck somehow told him that this was grim reality, and he felt pure fear spear through him. His panic was heightened by his feeling of helplessness as he realized that his right arm was trapped under Remus' still sleeping body. Remus hadn't moved an inch, even with the struggle going on beside him, and Sirius felt another layer of anxiety added to his cacophonous emotions as he worried if the other boy was still alive at all. Greyback's dark eyes darted toward Remus' body, as though reading Sirius' worries. The grin he turned back toward Sirius was sickening, and in his daze Sirius could almost imagine his teeth being razor points.<p>

"That's right, Black, squirm for me. Nothing's gonna wake him up." Greyback's voice was low, like the groaning of iron bars under great pressure. "I'm afraid that poor little Remus is going to have to wait to find you dead in the morning. I wonder if his little heart can take another break like that." He sneered down at Sirius, who was still struggling desperately against his superior strength.

Sirius could feel his heart racing as he tried to keep his eyes from crossing. Somewhere amidst his panic he felt a small thrill of excitement, as he'd just received a confession from Greyback. Sirius knew there had been a night when these same events had happened, only it was Jona, and not himself, that was trapped under this monster, fighting for his life. That thrill, he imagined, was the only thing keeping him from blacking out. He had to make it through this. He had his confession, now he had to survive to take advantage of it

Finally, Sirius was able to yank his arm out from under Remus, whose body rolled toward the wall lifelessly. Before Greyback could register his new found freedom, Sirius struck his fist across the older man's face. Do to the angle, the distance, and his current state, it did not hold enough force to knock Greyback off, but Sirius did not let that deter him. As his other hand suddenly flung out to the bedside table, knocking things about in an attempt to find something, anything to fight back with , his other hand just cocked back and struck again and again.

Greyback let the boy continue to hit him. He would bruise, but it was a pain that he could endure to get the job done. Sirius had been a thorn in his side since he'd arrived, and from the start he'd known that he would be a greater challenge than Jona had been. Jona had been a very gentle, passive boy, making his murder all the easier. He could see the dangerous fire in Black's eyes even when they'd first met in the halls, and he had known that it would come to this eventually. He chastised himself for not taking preemptive measures and ridding himself of the nosey brat long ago.

The room kept fading in and out for Sirius, though every time it faded to black he somehow managed to force it back into focus a moment later.. He would not let Greyback beat him. He would _not _leave Remus alone with this monster. Sirius felt water splash over his scrambling hand as it knocked Remus' drinking glass over. Out of reflex Sirius' fingers wrapped around it and brought it over Greyback's head as hard as he could. He heard the glass break and felt a few of the shards dig into his fingers, but as the body above him lurched from the blow he did not let the blood that was lubricating his hand stop him from digging the shattered base into the man's shoulder blade. There was a deep howl of pain from the man, and his fingers finally withdrew.

Now able to get a lungful of air, Sirius was able to shove the startled body off. He heard, as well as felt, Greyback's lumbering frame tumble off of him and onto the floor. Sirius was trying to right himself and catch his breath at the same time, though he was still feeling dizzy. He came around just in time to get a foot up to ward off Greyback's next lunge, though a moment later Sirius was yanked off of the bed by his ankle. What followed was a messy tangle of fists and knees. Fists met jaws and guts. Bodies were pushed and thrown against furniture and walls, both struggling for the upper hand. After a few excruciating minutes of fighting, Greyback secured a grip in Sirius' tangled hair, using it to throw Sirius against Remus' desk. Sirius knocked his head on the wall, and while it was not hard, he let his body fall onto the desk top as though it had knocked him nearly unconscious, hoping to fool Greyback enough to gain a few seconds to catch his breath. As he milked his recovery he palmed a pen, hoping that his now cocky opponent hadn't noticed.

Sirius heard Greyback chuckle, deep and dangerous in his chest, not needing to speak to know that he would move in for the kill. As the man lunged at him again Sirius managed to turn, getting his make-shift weapon between them and felt the push as it met resistance against the man's stomach. It had happened so quickly that Greyback was unable to stop his momentum, and with his full weight coming down on the point, the skin quickly gave and Sirius felt it force it's way in. Greyback froze a second, his eyes bulging before he stumbled back away from him.

Sirius's now bloody hand was shaking as he looked at the red stain that had formed around the pen base where it protruded from Greyback's belly. He couldn't get himself to move as he watched the older man pull the slimy pen from his would, and was too shocked to stop him as he stumbled to the door and disappeared.

Sirius had been in fights before, but never had he felt his life threatened in the way it had just been. The room was silent save for his heavy breathing. He could still feel his neck throbbing, but the adrenaline kept him from feeling the other bruises that were rising on his body from the struggle.

He glanced back toward the bed and saw that Remus was still laying against the wall. Immediately he launched himself from the desk where he was still leaning and moved to Remus' side, pulling him onto his back.

"Remus?" He croaked out, his throat throbbing as he tried to speak properly. "Remus, wake up!" He shook the boy as hard as he could, but received no response.

He felt his mind racing. Greyback must have drugged Remus earlier that evening. This was supposed to be one of his fits, he was sure of it. Had things gone the way Greyback wanted, Remus would have woken up in the morning thinking he'd killed Sirius the way he thought he'd killed Jona, and Greyback would have been able to keep him emotionally enslaved. Sirius knew they couldn't stay there. He had managed to fend Greyback off, but he knew that the wound was mostly superficial, and would probably not stop him for long.

Dressing quickly, Sirius slung his bag with the last of the things they needed onto his shoulder before wrapping Remus up in the blanket they had been sleeping under. Once he had him bundled up, he lifted the other boy into his arms, adrenaline still pumping through his veins, and left the room.

* * *

><p>It didn't take James more than a few seconds to realize that the banging at his bedroom door that woke him up was Sirius. He was out of bed, letting him in before Peter had even begun to register anything happening at all.<p>

"He just tried to kill me!" Sirius said in a panic as he hurried into the room, taking Remus directly to James' now empty bed and laying him down.

"What?" James sounded shocked, but seemed to believe him immediately. "What happened to Remus?"

"He's been drugged. I think he's okay, though, just out cold." Sirius said quickly, still trying to catch his breath and calm his shaking.

Peter was sitting up in his bed now, his eyes wide, wrapped up in his blanket. He was staring at the blood that was still on Sirius' hands and smeared on the blanket that he'd wrapped Remus up in. He wondered suddenly if Remus' murderous habits had rubbed off on him. James noticed Sirius' state as well and took him by his arm firmly, guiding him to the bathroom.

"He's fine. He can sleep right there. Let's get you cleaned up." He said as he brought his shaking friend into their bathroom.

He immediately put Sirius' hand under the faucet to clean the blood away, revealing bits of glass protruding from a few of the deeper cuts. Just as he was opening his mouth to ask Sirius what, exactly, had happened, there was a loud thump that made them both start. Turning they saw that it was only Peter who had entered the bathroom at a panicked run, his blanket wrapped around him, covering the top of his head like a hood. He looked embarrassed for a second.

"I didn't want to be left alone with him." He said weakly as an explanation, feeling more embarrassed as the other boys huffed at him, James rolling his eyes and Sirius looking insulted.

"So what _did _happen, exactly?" James asked, ignoring Peter now.

"We were in bed. I was trying to sleep.' Sirius swallowed, his mouth and throat feeling suddenly dry. "I thought we were having a bed check, but I guess it was Greyback sneaking in. Next thing I know he was trying to choke me to death!" Sirius said angrily. "I knocked him over the head with a glass and stabbed him in the gut with a pen."

"You stabbed a teacher?" Peter gaped at them.

"Well it sounds like you did what you needed to. I'm sure you can woo Remus with your story of bravery when he's up." James said jokingly, trying to calm his friend and help him ignore Peter's sputtering.

"It wasn't that bad of an injury though." Sirius was shaking his head. "We don't have any time to wait, we have to get this thing started tonight."

"We've only put together two of the bombs, though." Peter said. "What are we supposed to do with just two? "Then we'll make the rest of them right now!" Sirius snapped at him.

"That could take all night." Peter whined.

"Well it'd take less time if you'd stop complaining and start working." James said irritably as he covered the deepest wound on Sirius' hand with a bandage. "You'll be fine, mate." He said to Sirius, who didn't seem to want any coddling.

Sirius pushed past Peter and went back into the bedroom, going immediately to check on Remus. Finding him still sleeping soundly he grabbed his own bag and dumped the contents onto the floor. James grabbed the other two bags while Peter begrudgingly opened the window, hating the smell of the gasoline. Without much conversation they all set to work. Sirius continued to glance in Remus' direction every few minutes, wanting to make sure he was still breathing, terrified that Greyback had accidentally overdosed him, though rationally he figured he had gotten the dosage perfect over the years.

It was a tense atmosphere as the boys worked silently for several hours, all of them jumping every time they heard the slightest bump. Sirius, particularly seemed on edge. His mind kept returning to Greyback, wondering where he was at that moment. He would surely want to do something about Sirius before morning, as he wouldn't want him going to any of the teachers. From what Remus had told him, he figured that Greyback was devising some plan to frame Sirius, absolving himself of any guilt. And according to Remus, he was damn good at it.

* * *

><p>As the sky outside the window began to grey, and the silhouette of the landscape became outlined in silver, they all heard the blankets on the bed shift. Sirius immediately stopped what he was doing and moved to the bed as Remus started stirring. They were finishing up the last batch of explosives, and were just trying to decide what to do with Remus while they set to work.<p>

"Remus?" Sirius spoke quietly, brushing hair out of Remus' face. "Come on, Rem, you've gotta get up now." He said a little more urgently,

Remus groaned a little as he was forced to wake up. After a bit of resistance he finally cracked his eyes open, seeming offended by the bright lights. The other boys in the room let out a collective sigh, not realizing that they were all holding their breath in suspense. Sirius felt a wave of relief wash over him, glad that, other than being a bit slow, Remus seemed fine.

"Why're the lights on?" Remus asked with a small slur, trying to roll away from Sirius, and from the light, wanting to go back to sleep.

"Thank god." James murmured, mostly to himself, shocked by just how relieved he is.

Hearing James' voice seemed to bring Remus around very quickly, though, and he sat bolt upright, ignoring the way the room spun around him as he turned wide eyes toward the other boys. It was obvious to the others that his world was spinning, though, as his body swayed where he sat. As the blanket that had been draped protectively around him fell from his shoulders at his sudden movement, Sirius tried to catch it, knowing that Remus was too groggy still to realize that he was mostly bare beneath it, and he had a hunch that Remus would not want the others to see his scars. Unfortunately he was not quite fast enough and he could hear both James' and Peter's sudden intake of air as they caught sight of some of the gnarled flesh. The hissing breath seemed to make Remus suddenly aware of the situation as well, and as Sirius pulled the fabric quickly back up around his shoulders he pulled it tightly around himself.

"What are you two doing here?" Remus snarled at them, his anger trying to hide his embarrassment, even as the red crept into his cheeks.

"Holy shit." Peter muttered to himself.

The blonde boy had never expected to see anything like those scars, and felt slightly ill. He felt a strange mixture of sympathy for, and fear of, Remus now, but he was still compiling a list of the people he would tell first. While he was compiling the list of his audience James elbowed him hard in the rib. James knew that Peter was not sensitive enough to notice the flicker of humiliation that was just beneath Remus' anger.

"Remus." Sirius tried to get his attention off of the other two, gently guiding his face back to look at him. "It's fine. We're in there room. I brought you here to keep you safe."

"Safe from what? My own privacy?" He growled into Sirius' face

Sirius' still frayed nerves made Remus' attitude hard to deal with. He knew that Remus used his anger to hide his fear and vulnerability, but after having someone try to kill you, it was hard to keep your patience. He stood up, taking Remus' arm in his hand.

"Come on. We should talk in private." Sirius said sternly.

"Let go of me!" Remus snapped, yanking his arm out of Sirius' grip. "You're not my _mother_! You cant tell me where to go!"

Sirius found himself barely able to keep his temper under control. Normally that would be a mildly insulting comment, but knowing Remus' history with his mother and father, and the emphasis he put on it, he felt more deeply wounded than he had ever expected. Now furious, he took hold of Remus again and yanked him to his feet, ignoring the shouts of protest. It was obvious that Remus was weak on his feet, but Sirius did not stop as he drug him toward the bathroom.

As the door shut and the Remus' continued shouting was muffled James and Peter turned to each other, both looking a bit terrified. A second later they both darted toward the door, their ears pressed against it.

Sirius lightly slung him toward the sink counter and Remus had to let go of the blanket he'd carried with him with one hand to steady himself on the counter top. He just glared back at Sirius as the other boy paced back and forth in front of him, looking like a caged animal. He was obviously trying to cool his temper before speaking. Finally he moved toward Remus, rooting a hand on either side of the slighter body so he couldn't escape.

"What the hell is this?" He asked quietly, though it was clear that he was still angry.

"I don't like being here." Remus said simply, staring right back into Sirius' eyes, refusing to show his fear, though he could barely hide the slight tremor in his shoulders.

"Think you could have asked _why _we were here before acting like a twat?" Sirius said through his teeth. When Remus didn't answer he continued. "And you really think I'm acting like your mother? Am I acting like _a _mother or like _your_ mother? Because I'm thinking that makes a huge difference."

Sirius finally saw Remus' eyes soften as they turned to an expression more closely resembling confusion.

"After everything I've done, is that really how you see me? As someone who wants to control you?" Sirius practically growling now.

"No, Sirius, I didn't mean to say you were like _my -_" Remus tried to explain but Sirius just spoke over him.

"Do you think I brought you here to humiliate you or to piss you off? Did you even stop to think that I brought you here because I'm trying to _protect_ you?"

Hanging his head, Sirius took a deep breath, knowing that he needed to cool himself down, as Remus' eyes were starting to look suspiciously wet. It hadn't been his intention to upset him, and he was quite sure that he'd made his point. After a few seconds he sighed and brought a hand up to wipe under one of the other boy's eyes with his thumb, feeling guilty that his eyelashes were so damp.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly, feeling guilty for his outburst.

Remus shook his head, as though to say that he shouldn't be, but didn't seem like he wanted to speak as he fluttered his eyelashes to dispel the tears that had been growing there. Bringing his slightly shaking hands up he hooked them both around the back of Sirius' neck and pulled him down until their foreheads were touching, staring at Sirius' nose, feeling too guilty to look him in the eye.

"I didn't mean to say you were like _my _mother, Sirius. I'm sorry." He finally said quietly, once his voice was steady enough to trust.

"I'm sorry I got so angry. It's been a bit hectic since you fell asleep." He smiled ironically at his oversimplification of the situation.

"What happened? I remember going to bed with you. How did we get here? Did I," He paused, licking his lips nervously. "Did I have a fit?" His words were no louder than a breath.

"No, Remus, you didn't have a fit." Sirius said quietly, their foreheads still touching, Remus' finger tips rubbing back and forth on his neck. "I don't think you ever have."

Sirius' final words made Remus' fingers grow still and after a moment he leaned back away from him, putting his hands on the counter again. He didn't like this conversation. He knew that Sirius wanted to prove to him that he was wholly innocent, but he found it impossible to believe. He could still remember the sound of bones crushing, the feel of blood and brain matter against his hands, the gurgling noise as blood leaked down into his parents' sinus cavity as those delicate bones broke apart. He was not innocent, and he knew that he was all too capable of the things he'd done during his fits.

"Sirius, I don't want to talk about this again." He said weakly.

"I have proof this time, Rem." Sirius said, taking his chin and forcing him to look at him.

Feeling annoyed by his forcefulness, Remus struggled slightly, until he saw Sirius pull the collar of his shirt down, drawing attention to the still darkening bruises around his neck, the lines of fingers clear. Remus felt himself go cold, and could tell by Sirius' reaction that his face had drained of color. He was horrified, suddenly. He'd tried to do to Sirius what he'd done to Jona. He felt cursed, doomed to destroy anyone he cared for, which is why he was destined to be with Greyback.

"What have I done?" Remus breathed, his eyes filling with tears again.

"What? Remus, no, you didn't do this!" Sirius said quickly, having not expected this reaction.

"God, it's just like Jona." Remus murmured to himself, his eyes going out of focus.

'No! Remus, look at me." Sirius said, taking the other boy's chin in his hand and forcing him to look at him. "You didn't do this to me. Greyback did."

"Fenrir," Remus began quietly. "He keeps me from doing these things to people. He keeps everyone safe."

Sirius felt a jolt of fear. He'd never seen Remus like this. It was like he was drifting off somewhere else, somewhere that Sirius couldn't get to. It was a place where reality was twisted into something else, where all of Greyback's lies were undisputed truth.

"He told me that I would end up hurting you if I got close. I knew I should have listened to him." Remus continued vaguely.

"No! Remus, snap out of it! You came back to our room last night, remember? You were tired, so we went to bed. We kissed, remember?" He said desperately, bringing his lips to Remus', though he felt another nauseous wave of panic as Remus' lips were unresponsive, as though he were sleeping with his eyes wide open. "While you were asleep, Greyback came into our room. He attacked me. He attacked me just like he attacked Jona."

"Stop it!" Remus suddenly shouted at him. "Fenrir wouldn't do that! He tried to protect Jona from me! He warned me that I was putting him in danger, but I wouldn't listen! Just like he warned me about you!"

"He's a _monster_, Remus! Look at what he does to you!" Sirius shouted back, feeling angry and helpless that he's lost the ground he stood on.

"I deserve this!" Remus said, tears defying gravity on his lower lashes.

"No one deserves this!" Sirius said, yanking the blanket down off his scarred shoulders. "He does this because he's sick! Because he gets off on it!"

"You're wrong! He does it because he loves me!"

"Damn it, Remus! _I _love you!" Sirius suddenly shouted into his face. .

Both boys were still now, and silent. Remus' eyes had grown large, his mouth hanging open slightly as the tears on his lashes finally trailed down his cheeks. Sirius was trying to catch his breath, all of his anger draining from him as the tears dripped from Remus' frozen face. After a moment he dropped his forehead to his again.

"I love you, Rem." He repeated, his voice soft this time. "Please believe me."

Bringing his hands up to cup his cheeks, Sirius kissed him softly on the lips again, and he could feel them tremble slightly, though after a moment they returned the caress. Sirius kissed his lips several times before pulling away enough to speak again, his forehead still touching his and his hands moving up to comb through the light brown curls.

"You have to believe me." He said quietly. "You were out cold when he came in. He'd given you medicine right before you came back, didn't he? He drugged you, Remus. That's how he makes you think you have fits. He drugged you and came in to kill me. He wanted you to wake up, thinking you'd done it."

"But…" Remus tried to respond a few long moments later. "But Jona, I know I-"

"You didn't." Sirius insisted gently. "He did the same thing that night.

Remus began shaking his head slightly, obviously finding it hard to let go of the guilt surrounding his lover's death.

"I want to show you something." Sirius said before he could get too wrapped up in his self loathing.

Remus resisted slightly as Sirius pulled his thin hands up to wrap around his neck, His fingers trembled against his skin, and he felt sick.

"Look at the bruises. They're too big for your hands, aren't they? There's no way you could have done this to me." Sirius said sternly.

Remus stared at his pale hands wrapped around Sirius' neck, and saw that Sirius was right; There was an entire finger line left once his hands were around it. The hands that had done this were much broader than his own. Remus felt a sob of relief shake his body and Sirius pulled him into a tight hug, whispering comforting words into his ear until his body stopped trembling. They stayed like that for a long time.

It was jarring; the feeling of his mind readjusting. He held onto Serious tightly, afraid that he'd float away as the guilt that had weighed him down for so long began to lift. He felt a sudden freedom that terrified him, as though he were lost in the middle of a field, finally free to go any direction he wanted.

After a long moment of silence they both were startled by a soft knocking at the bathroom door, followed by James' voice.

"Sorry to interrupt, you two, but it's almost morning. We need to get this thing going." James said quietly through the door.

There was a moment of silence as they both stared at the door, their stomachs squirming nervously for different reasons and for the same reason. They both knew that this was it. Everything was going to end tonight, whether it went according to their plan or not, and they would have to adjust to whatever new life they found themselves in.

"Do you trust me?" Sirius said quietly to Remus, who was still watching the door.

"Yeah." He smiled, turning back to the boy he loved.


	13. Chapter 13

**Alright. So I lied, this is not the final chapter. This is ending up longer than I thought it would, so instead of making you all wait for an undetermined ammount of time, I figured I would go ahead and post what I have. I hope that the climax lives up to expectations, and that this section doesn't seem pointless without the rest of the ending completed. **

**I have finished my GREs and so hopefully will have the time to get this finished up soon, but until then I hope this will tide you all over. **

****Warnings****

**Violence, foul language, references to underage sexual situations, and arson/destruction of property. Obviously, just because I write it doesn't mean I think you should do it and all that good stuff. Please don't get me into trouble. ^^; **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>As Sirius opened the door James handed him a few folded articles of clothing, giving him a subtle congratulatory smile.<p>

"For Remus." He said, "They might be big, but I figured he'd appreciate them."

"Thanks." Sirius smiled, glad that James had Remus' comfort in mind. He also wanted to give him a victorious thumbs up but decided it would be inappropriate.

When Remus had finished dressing they emerged from the bathroom together, holding the other's hand tightly. James and Peter had finished packing the explosives into a few small tote bags.

"Just remember that we don't want to throw these too close to the residential wings." Sirius said as he pulled one of the totes onto his shoulder. "We don't want anyone getting trapped by the fire."

The others nodded, but didn't seem to have much to say. They were all feeling a nauseating combination of excitement, fear and uncertainty. They were all taking a huge risk by doing this. Sirius had been certain that once the police were there and he was able to explain why they'd done it, show them what Greyback had done, and maybe even find a way to make Greyback confess, that they'd all be absolved. None of them were terrible certain of this any more. Feeling more secure as a group, they all left the room quietly, leaving James with the strange sensation that he would not be seeing that room again.

"We should get the kitchen first. With the gas stoves in there it'll get bigger faster than anywhere else." Sirius said quietly as they walked down the hall, none of them trying to avoid the cameras.

"Right." Was all that James said in response.

Peter was having a hard time keeping his knees from shaking as they made their way down the still dark hallway. He stared guiltily at every camera, imagining his face on the news that night, under the header "Mentally unstable boys burn down school."

"Are you sure about this?" Remus found himself whispering to his boyfriend, feeling a small thrill at the title.

Sirius squeezed the slight hand that he held onto, but as he opened his mouth to speak, wanting to reassure him, they heard the sound of quick footsteps behind them. Turning, they saw what they'd hoped to avoid. Greyback had rounded the corner with two men they all recognized as school security, their matching uniforms giving them away. Slughorn was catching up to the group in the background, trying to catch his breath from the short run.

"There he is!" Greyback shouted. "The long haired one!"

Out of reflex Sirius pulled Remus behind him, putting himself between him and Greyback.

"Now, hold on just a minute!" Slughorn huffed out, a hand on his rounded belly, as the other waved about to get everyone's attention, still trying to catch his breath. "I think we all need to calm down a bit here."

"Mr. Slughorn, _Sir,_" Greyback said through his teeth, "Forgive me for rushing things, but Mr. Black did _stab _me."

Sirius couldn't stop the triumphant grin that split his face, seeing Greyback having to bow to Slughorn's wishes made him feel more confident.

"That's right, I did. And I'd do it again!" Sirius said with a boasting glare, unable to remove the smile from his face.

"I understand that the two of you have some problems with each other," Slughorn continued, trying to be diplomatic. "but I think that if we all went back to my office-"

"Remus." Greyback interrupted, ignoring Slughorn's sputtering. "Come away from him, right now. That boy is dangerous."

Sirius could feel Remus tense where he was hiding behind him, his body shaking slightly as the man addressed him directly. Remus could feel the ghost of the control that Fenrir had over him tugging at him, urging him to do as he said. It was a sense of duty, a guilt of disobeying, and a fear of punishment that left him fighting the urge to go to the familiar embrace of the older man. Then he felt Sirius' grip on him tighten and the gesture brought with it a surge of courage. Remus steeled himself and came out from behind Sirius, taking his hand firmly.

"No." Remus surprised even himself with the strength of his refusal and he felt Sirius squeeze his hand in approval and encouragement. "I'll never let you touch me again!"

"Remus…" Greyback growled in warning, the sound filling the hallway with a foreboding that could be felt by everyone.

"No!" Remus just raised his voice even more, though he did take a step back, his own shoulder sliding behind Sirius' where he felt more secure. "I'm not doing anything you tell me to any more, you-" He seemed to be unsure of what to say next, obviously not experienced at insulting the older man. "you _child molester!_"

In any other situation, the put-down may have been laughable, as the terminology was too formal for a good insult, but in this case, they all seemed to feel it was uncomfortably specific. Sirius could feel Remus shaking like a leaf behind him and he squared his shoulders in an attempt to make him feel more secure.

"I was only thirteen _fucking _years old, you piece of shit!" Remus screamed, feeling empowered all of a sudden. "I'm not letting you do this to me any more!"

"Excuse me?" Slughorn stuttered from where he was standing with the two security guards, looking at Greyback with comically wide eyes now.

"He's off his medication." Greyback said coolly before turning back to look at the four boys. "He's got no idea what he's talking about."

"I think we'll see if he knows what he's saying when the cops show up." Sirius said boldly, blocking Remus from the threatening gaze that Greyback was sending him.

"And how do you plan to get the cops? Gonna use your _cell phone_?" Greyback sneered at them.

"Not exactly." Sirius said with a mischievous grin.

"Fire in the hole, lads." James said conversationally as he chucked the now lit explosive over the heads of Sirius and Remus.

Greyback had begun advancing on them until he saw the flaming jug arc over their heads, and had enough sense to stumble back away from them just before the jug hit the floor in the space between the two groups. With a loud pop the container burst, the fuel carrying the fire in every direction. The oil stuck the flammable concoction to the walls and ceiling, leaving a ring of fire in corridor. Both groups had not expected such an intense explosion and as the boys reeled away from the flames they tripped over Peter, who had apparently toppled over from the shock of the impact.

"We should go now." Remus said, seeming a bit shocked their homemade weapons.

"Right." Said James, the same look of disbelief on his face.

The heat coming off the fire was surprisingly intense, trapped as it was in the small space, and nearly everyone had turned away from it, bringing hands up to block their faces from the heat. Sirius had not turned away though. He and Greyback were locked for the moment in a stare that communicated everything that words could not. Pure hatred was being sent from both sides, the heat of which left the fire feeling like a cool breeze. They both had the sudden sense that one of them was not going to make it out of this conflict alive.

"Come on!" Remus shouted over the fire alarm that had begun blaring without Sirius noticing. "Sirius, come _on_!" he continued, giving the other boy's arm a sharp tug.

"Right." Sirius said as he finally broke eye contact with Greyback, the four of them turning and running away from the flames. "Lets get to the kitchens!"

Greyback watched the four teens disappear down one of the adjoining corridors, feeling unadulterated fury bubbling up inside of him. Suddenly he turned to one of the security guards, grabbing him by his uniform vest.

"Go phone the police! Tell them that we don't need any assistance. And you!" He said, tossing the first guard aside to grab the other. "Put this fucking fire out!"

Neither of the men seemed brave enough to question his orders, and both dashed away, one going for a phone, the other for a fire extinguisher. Greyback knew that he would have to go the long way around to find them again, and was quickly leaving to do just that, ignoring Slughorn's sputtering orders for him to stay put so he could speak with him. He'd always held a certain amount of contempt for Slughorn's pathetically weak personality, and while it had given him free reign to do as he pleased, always knowing that he would be able to manipulate the stout man, he also found it repulsive. He thought that perhaps the pathetic man may need to die tragically in the fire. It was a pleasant idea, but he knew that he had to take care of the matter at hand first, namely, getting rid of the troublesome Sirius boy and retrieving his property. He had put far too much time and effort into training Remus, shaping him into the perfect pet, to let him slip through his fingers now.

The boys held tightly to their bags as they pushed their way through the panicking students who had been awoken by the fire alarms and were now trying to evacuate the building. The shouting, in addition to the continued siren was nearly deafening, and they all had to keep hold of each other so as not to be separated by the waves of students. They were fighting the current in their attempt to get to the kitchen, and knew that they did not have much time. Finally, James was able to pull their small caravan into an adjoining corridor that housed classrooms and not dormitories, leaving it clear.

"Greyback's gonna try and keep the police out!" Sirius shouted, now that he could be heard. "We have to make sure to put on a show they wont be able to ignore!"

They all continued silently until they arrived at the cafeteria, each of them jumping the counter in turn to make their way back into the kitchens.

"Peter, Remus, go round and turn on all the stove tops!" Sirius ordered as he and James each pulled out an explosive.

"W-what?" Peter stammered while Remus did as he was told.

"We need the gas to feed the fire and make the explosion bigger. Turn them all on!" Sirius barked at him.

"B-but, this is _really _dangerous!" He complained.

"Yeah, Pete, bombs usually are." James said as he and Sirius both set a jug in different places in the room, then hurried to help Remus turn on every burner.

Without lighting the burners the gas was left to filter out into the room, and soon they could all smell the sharp scent of propane filling the air.

"Right." Sirius said as he positioned himself at the jug he'd left unlit on the floor. "We'll light these and then probably have about a minute or so to get as far off as we can."

"Probably? _Probably?_" Peter was shouting now. "You're gonna get us all killed!"

"Well if you don't want to help us any more than get the fuck out! I'm tired of listening to your god damned whining!" Sirius said, not pausing as he struck the lighter and began lighting the rag fuse.

"You're all nut cases! I can't believe I let you talk me into this! I haven't even gotten to throw one of those things yet!" Peter continued shrieking.

"Don't worry, Peter." James said with a laugh as he lit his. "You can throw the next one."

"Yeah?" Peter asked, seeming surprisingly excited.

"Sure. Now lets get the fuck out of here."

Without looking back they all left through the main kitchen doors, and before they got to the end of the hallway the gas had caught and fire shot through the doors and out into the cafeteria with a huge, percussive blast that knocked all four boys onto their stomachs. They were silent for a long time, only able to hear the alarms still ringing and the sound of fire crackling behind them. They all remained where they were, huddled close to the ground, wondering how long their ears were going to ring. Eventually they turned to look at each other, each boy mirroring the look of terror and excitement and utter shock that the other had on his face.

Slowly James and Sirius began to exchange a grin, and before long the other two boys had joined them and they all were laughing where they laid on the ground. It may have seemed a strange reaction, but the nervous tension that had built inside of them had to be released somehow, and laughter was the form it took.

"Wow" James finally spoke.

"Yeah." Sirius agreed, pushing himself to his feet before helping Remus up.

"I think that may get their attention." Remus said, eyes wide and a nervous grin still on his face.

"So where next?" Sirius asked, looking around to be sure they were alone, a nervous feeling that Greyback may turn the corner any moment still plaguing him.

"Locker rooms." Peter suddenly said boldly.

"Why there?" Asked James.

"I bloody hate sports. It'll be satisfying for me." Peter said matter-of-factly.

"That's the spirit!" James shouted, clapping him hard on the shoulder.

With their plan of action decided on, they all took off again, heading toward the locker room. They all felt a thrill of excitement as they ran toward the back of the school. They were excited that their plan was working so flawlessly, and that they seemed to be running into no real obstacles. All they heard was their running footsteps, sirens, and impending victory.

In retrospect, Sirius would insist he felt the air around him tense with dangerous vibrations just before Greyback's arm swung out from around the corner where he was hiding down a separate corridor. Sirius, leading the pack, had nothing between himself and the blade that lodged into his upper pectoral. As fast as it had happened, he was aware of every second of it. He felt the blade scrape against bone as it lodged itself between his collarbone and his uppermost rib. He felt the weight of the hilt of the blade as it thumped against his skin. He felt the cold shiver run down to his toes and back up again to make his hair stand on end. In the next second, the blade was yanked from his body with a twist, sending another shudder through him as metal scraped bone again.

Sirius found himself tumbling backward, several sets of hands catching him as he felt himself begin to sweat, the pain finally starting to catch up with him. He heard himself shout, but it sounded like it was coming from somewhere else, he also thought he heard Remus calling his name as tried to regain his footing.

"The game's over, boys." Greyback said quietly as he came from around the corner, wiping the blood from his knife onto a small rag.

Sirius felt hot blood soaking into his shirt and running down his chest, and for a moment had a hard time hearing what Greyback was saying. His shoulder was on fire, and with each beat of his heart it throbbed painfully. The other boys were rooted to the spot in fear.

"You two," Greyback said to James and Peter. "are going to evacuate the building right now, and speak of this to no one. Remus, you're going to come with me." He said, turning his cold eyes back on his prey.

"Like hell he is!" Sirius shouted, Greyback's words bringing his world back into sharp focus as a surge of adrenaline deadened most of the pain in his shoulder.

With his good arm, he slung his tote that still held two heavy jugs in it toward Greyback, catching him off guard, pummeling him in the side of his head. Given his condition, no one had expected Sirius to retaliate so effectively.

"Run!" Sirius shouted as he grabbed Remus with his good hand and drug him down the hall as Greyback stumbled against the wall.

The other boys did not argue, but Sirius knew that they only had a few moments head start, so when they reached a dead end, with only two direction choices, he stopped, turning to the others.

"You lot go on. Use up every one of those things! I'll distract Greyback." Sirius said, obviously a bit out of breath.

"What?" James spat, shocked by the stupidity of his idea. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"Shut it!" Sirius snapped back, "We don't have time to argue. Get the police here and I won't _have _to die."

"I'm coming with you." Remus said suddenly.

"Rem, I don't-"

"I'm coming with you!" Remus raised his voice over Sirius'.

There was a moment in which Sirius felt as though they were communicating silently. He felt Remus' stubborn intentions drift over to him, he could read them in his eyes that were glowing more brilliantly than he'd ever seen them, and he knew that not only would he be unable to dissuade him, he didn't want to. They were supposed to be together in this moment. They would face Greyback together, and they would come out victorious.

"Right. We'll distract him." Sirius said, turning back to James and Peter. "You two go that way. Here." He took Remus' tote and gave it to James.

"Shouldn't you at least have these for a weapon?" He asked, shocked, though he still took the bag.

"Blowing him up might look bad to the cops." Sirius said with a bit of a grin. "Now go on. We'll head this way. Don't stop." He clapped James on the shoulder with his good hand and gave Peter a nod, who was looking sickly pale.

"You really think this is gonna work?" Remus asked quietly as they watched their friends disappear down the corridor.

"I hope it does." Sirius said honestly before hissing, bringing his good arm up to cradle his other, the weight of which was beginning to hurt his shoulder.

"He's gonna kill you if he gets the chance." Remus said, turning to inspect his wound.

"We'll just have to not give him the chance, then." Sirius said with a surprisingly resilient smile on his face.

They felt their bodies chill as they heard the heavy footfalls belonging to Greyback coming up the dark hallway. Distracting him was far easier in theory than it would be in practice.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone. Sorry for the extended wait. I had a lot of stuff going on, and was having a bit of writers block on top of it. I find these parts of stories to be very difficult, and they tend to intimidate me into inactivity.  
><strong>

**It should be clear after you read this that it is not the last chapter, and I am officially giving up on trying to guess how many more chapters it will take to finish. I am just going to keep writing until I am done. **

**I don't feel as strong about this chapter as I have with others, but I hope you still like it. I'm so afraid of disappointing everyone with the climax. Anyway, enough of my ramblings, lets get on with things. **

*****WARNINGS*****

**This chapter contains a lot of violence, sexual themes, and bad language, so please be aware of this if you are easily offended or disturbed. **

**Please review to let me know whether or no this is living up to your expectations.**

* * *

><p>They waited, knowing that Greyback had to see where they went in order to successfully lead him away from James and Peter. The windowless hallway was dark save for the strobe-like flashing of the alarm system, making the image of Greyback's seemingly enormous figure all the more terrifying. The blow to his head seemed to have knocked his equilibrium off and he shuffled slightly as he made his way toward them, the flashing lights causing his figure to jump a few feet closer to them every time they flared brightly.<p>

Remus felt his heart begin to race as the man he'd felt tragically attached to for so many years neared them. He could almost feel the waves of anger that rolled down the hallway as he neared them, leaving him feeling rooted to the spot, his knees shaking just slightly. It was the feeling of the warm hand that slid into his own that drew him out of his terror stricken stupor. Sirius gave him an urgent tug, trying to lead him in the opposite direction taken by their friends, and Remus found the fear that had been gripping him a moment ago dissipate, and soon he was running, holding tightly to Sirius' hand.

"Remus!" Greyback growled at them, his voice seeming to vibrate the hallway where he was rapidly regaining his footing, finding it far easier to keep up with them. "Remus, you fucking tramp! How dare you betray me!"

It was clear that the Fenrir Greyback was losing his composure. The calm, calculating man who had so easily framed Remus, the man who had kept him emotionally enslaved, was degenerating into a wild animal, and they both felt as though they were being chased by a giant wolf, intent on ripping their bodies apart the moment he caught them. They were his prey, and like scared rabbits, all they could do was run.

Sirius could feel a cold sweat breaking out across his skin and was glad that the poor lighting and the darkness of his shirt hid the blood he felt saturating his clothing. His shoulder throbbed with every step he took, but he knew he could not let Remus see how much pain he was in. He was Remus' rock at that moment, and knew that any sign of weakness would leave Remus unable to stand up to Greyback. He had helped Remus recognize the emotional chains that had been tightly wrapped around him, but he was still so vulnerable, and knew that those chains could easily pull him back down.

Neither of the boys knew where they were going as they continued to run. All they knew was that they had to stay one step ahead of Greyback. In the distance they could hear the cacophonous sound of students and teachers as they worked at evacuating the building, and before long, they heard a collection of higher screams punctuating the distant sound of an explosion. Both of the boys felt strangely reassured by the destructive sound, knowing that it came from their friends, and that with each explosion, help was closer to arriving.

"Wait!" Remus suddenly gasped where he was being drug along behind Sirius. "Sirius, wait, Fenrir is gone!"

Remus was desperate for a pause in their running. His chest burned with every breath and there was a sharp stitch in his side that made him want to curl in on himself. He was relieved when he felt Sirius finally start to slow, looking behind them, then turning to look in the opposite direction, as though afraid that Greyback would suddenly appear behind them.

"Where's he gone?" Sirius asked quietly, sounding breathless as well.

"Dunno, we must have lost him." Remus said, bent over, one hand resting on his knee while the other held the painful spot in his side.

"I don't like this. We shouldn't have lost him so easily." Sirius said, feeling his stomach churn nervously.

He tried to listen for any sign on the other man's presence, but all he could hear was the low din of the other students.

"We have to find him again." Sirius suddenly said.

"What?" Remus stood up straight, staring at him in disbelief.

"Think about it, Rem. If the cops show up and it just looks like a couple of us went around blowing shit up, we're all going to end up in jail. They have to see what kind of monster he is." Sirius had a manic tinge to his voice.

"So you want us to set ourselves up as bait?" Remus said in disbelief.

"If that's what it takes, then yes, I'll make myself the bait. If he has to hurt me to put him behind bars, then I'm prepared for that." Sirius' voice had dropped slightly, his tone softer.

"Are you crazy? The whole point of this is to _keep _him from hurting us!" Remus said, frustrated that Sirius was, yet again, putting his own wellbeing aside for his sake.

"I'm not going to argue with you about this, Remus." Sirius said sternly. "If you want I can take you out to where the other students are and go back after Greyback on my own."

"No! I already said that I was coming with you!" Remus nearly shouted, reaching over and taking hold of his uninjured arm tightly.

"Alright, then." Sirius said with a grin, as though he had known all along that Remus would answer that way. "Lets go find him."

Going against everything that their instincts told them, they turned back and began walking in the direction they'd come from. They held tightly to each others' hand, and could feel the other jump at every noise they heard. It was comforting to know they were equally terrified. Somewhere deep in his mind, Sirius knew that going back wasn't a good idea, but he thought that it was a risk that was worth taking. He felt that way until a chill ran up his spine just as an arm darted from a shadowed doorway, catching Remus by his hair and yanking him out of Sirius' grip before he had time to react.

Remus began to scream as his hair was pulled so brutally, but his voice quieted as he felt the sharp edge of a blade press against his now taught neck. Sirius instantly regretted the decision as he turned in time to see Remus pulled back against Greyback's broad chest. The brown-haired boy, who seemed so small in comparison to the other man, was on his toes in an attempt to loosen the tight pull on his hair, and to avoid the edge of the blade.

"Don't try anything stupid." Greyback said in a low voice, his mouth stretching into a hateful smile. "Can't believe you actually came back looking for me." He said with a slow shake of his head. "Ah-ah."

Sirius stopped in his tracks as Greyback, seeing his body twitch with the need to act, tutted him. Remus' chest was rising and falling quickly as he held onto Greyback's arm that was pressing the blade to his throat. He could feel little droplets of blood slide down into the hallow at the bottom of his neck, only to be soaked up by his t-shirt.

"I think the three of us need to find somewhere private to work out these misunderstandings." Greyback said grimly. "Get walking, Black. That way." He said with a jerk of his head. "And don't think about trying anything chivalrous, or Remus will be getting more than just another scar."

Sirius' instincts told him to fight back, but the whimper he heard from Remus as the blade pushed harder against him told him otherwise, and so, grudgingly, he turned and began down the hall, walking quietly in the direction Greyback had identified. He continued to look back at them as he walked, his body shaking with anger at the site of Remus in the other man's clutches. Before long he began to get an inkling of where they were being taken. Sliding one by one between the fence and the wall, they made their way toward the break in the outer fencing that lead to the clearing where the puppies had been kept. Behind them, coming from the opposite side of the building Sirius could hear the sounds of the evacuated students, and just as they made it to the back fence they all heard another explosion coming from inside the school.

Panic was building up inside of Sirius very quickly. Even though he could now hear the faintest trill of a siren coming from far off, he did not feel the comfort he thought he would. The police were coming, just as they'd planned, but how would they find them in the forest. James and Peter didn't know they were being taken off the grounds, and they would likely be more worried about the fire and the safety of the other students to go looking for them. Remus may be dead by then.

_No, _Sirius told himself. _Greyback wont kill Remus. He'll kill me and keep Remus for himself. _

The thought was not comforting. He knew immediately that he would lay down his own life if it meant saving Remus', but a small part of him thought that the torture of years at the mercy of a beast like Greyback would be far worse than the quick and sudden stop he would meet in death. He was shocked to think that he would rather see Remus dead than in Greyback's clutches.

"That's far enough." Greyback ordered as they entered the clearing. "Go fetch that rope." He tilted his head toward the shelter that had been built for the mother dog.

The bodies of the dogs were gone, though Sirius was unsure if they'd been cleaned up, or merely drug off by other animals. He could still see a few dark stains on the ground where they'd been, and a subtle smell of decay rose from the leaves as they were shuffled under his feet. On the ground by the shelter, Sirius found a few pieces of rope that looked as though they were left over from where a tarp had been stretched between tree trunks. Begrudgingly gathering them up, he brought them over to Greyback, who seemed sickly amused by the look of pure hatred that the black haired boy was giving him.

"Take the ropes from him, Remus." he said quietly, bending forward to plant his order against the shell of his hear.

Sirius felt himself shake with anger as he saw Greyback's tongue slide from between his lips to touch Remus' ear. He knew that he was purposefully trying to infuriate him, and so he tried his best to keep calm, though the tremor was apparent as he held the rope out for Remus. Two sets of shaking fingers brushed together as Remus reached for the rope. As his eyes met with Sirius' he saw the determination behind the immediate fear they both shared. Sirius seemed to be telling him that he would make things alright, though it was clear that he didn't know how to. His eyes told him to be brave, though, and so he felt a subtle steeling inside himself and gave Sirius a discrete nod.

"Now have a seat." Greyback ordered, oblivious to the silent conversation that was going on between the two boys. "Tie him up, Remus."

Following Greyback's directions, Sirius found himself sitting with his arms pulled back around the trunk of a small tree where they were bound by Remus. As Remus finished Sirius managed to catch his fingers in his own and squeeze them reassuringly. The touch only lasted a moment, but it left them both feeling a little more secure.

"Now you sit here." Greyback ordered, quickly getting Remus bound in a similar fashion at a nearby tree.

The boys sat across from each other now, though they were too far away to touch each other, even if they both straightened their legs. Greyback stood between them, admiring his handiwork for a while before leaning against the dog shelter.

"You two have caused quite a bit of trouble for me." He said casually, using the tip of the blade in his hand to dig something out from under his fingernail. "Though I have to give you credit for blowing the school up. That was either the dumbest or smartest thing I've ever seen. But like I said earlier, the game's over." He lowered his knife and looked at Remus. "You've been very, _very _bad."

Remus felt a cold chill lock up all his joints. Greyback had spoken the words quietly, but they left him trembling in fear. He suddenly recalled every bold thing he'd said to the man in the past few days, and knew that he was about to feel full retribution for them.

"You leave him alone!" Sirius suddenly interrupted Remus' thoughts. "Everything that's happened has been because of me. So take it out on me, and leave him alone."

"Oh?" Greyback looked between the two, then grinned, standing up again. "If you insist."

In a motion that was faster than his bulky frame would have suggested possible, Greyback turned, bringing his hand down hard on Sirius' wounded shoulder, his thumb digging hard into the bloody hole under his collarbone. Sirius howled in pain as he felt the thumb push hard enough into the wound to open it wider, feeling the skin stretch and tear slightly. Through his own screams of pain, Sirius could make out Remus mirrored shouting.

"It's a shame that I missed all your vitals." Greyback said with a sick grin, leaning in close over Sirius, who was shaking and trying to twist out from under the other man's painful finger. "I really should have just gotten rid of you right away, but I suppose that things have been a bit more exciting thanks to you. Though, now I'm going to have to get rid of all those silly thoughts you planted in my little pet's brain."

"He's not your _pet, _you sick _fuck!_" Sirius shouted, punctuating his sentence by spitting in his face.

Greyback grew dangerously still and even Sirius could hear the sharp breath that Remus took in, clearly terrified of the repercussions that Sirius now faced. The clearing was still for a long time, though Sirius realized that he could hear the sirens more clearly now and felt steadied by the thought that the police would be arriving soon, or may already be on the school's grounds.

"I see where the misunderstanding may have occurred." Greyback said coolly as he wiped the spit from his face. "So please allow me to make my point."

With that he brought the tip of his knife to the hole in Sirius' shirt. With a flick of his wrist he tore the shirt open, revealing the deep wound.

"It really is amazing that I missed all the important stuff." Greyback said, sliding the tip of the knife over his skin, nearing the still oozing wound. "I really wonder how I managed."

Ignoring the screams of protest he started to steadily push the tip of the blade back into the wound, trying to follow deep path of torn flesh. Sirius was screaming, but trying to hold still all at once, knowing that any serious thrashing would cause more damage to his injury. He could feel his body break out into a sweat and his eyes begin to cross. Distantly he could hear Remus screaming for Greyback to stop, going between threats and begging.

"Oh, woops, is that bone I'm hitting, so sorry." Greyback teased, a grin spreading across his face, obviously enjoying the pain he was causing the boy, though he stilled as Remus' words finally made it through his bloodlust.

"Fenrir! Please stop! _Please_! I'll do anything, just stop hurting him!"

Remus begged so rarely, especially with tears staining his adorable face, and Greyback felt it go straight to his dick. Hearing Remus cry and sputter his pleading words made him hunger for the boy's body, wanting to make that shaking helpless thing bend to his every desire. He thought he could still get some amusement from the situation.

"Anything?" Greyback asked, turning to look at him as he twisted the knife slightly, making Sirius scream as he hit his head back against the bark of the tree.

"Yes! Please stop it!" Remus was sobbing, his feet planted in the leaves as he attempted to writhe and buck his way out of his bonds.

Greyback seemed to consider his options for a moment before pulling the knife from his wound and walking over to Remus who was still trying to reign in his tears. Leaning forward he brought the blade to Remus' cheek, wiping a line of Sirius' blood against his skin.

"I'm going to make sure you regret this." He said quietly to him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey everyone. Here it is. This is the final chapter of the main story. There will be an epilogue that might consist of 1-2 installments. Please enjoy and review!**

****WARNINGS****

**This chapter contains violence, bad language, and rape imagery. If you are easily offended by these things, or under age, please do not read.**

* * *

><p>Sirius felt his heart sink when he heard Remus' words. Somewhere under all of the panic he was happy that Remus was willing to sacrifice himself to help him, knowing it was the closest to a love confession he'd received from the other boy. He was also relieved that the knife had been removed from his shoulder, but as the older man turned his attention to Remus, Sirius felt himself begin to panic.<p>

"No! Get away from him!" Sirius shouted, desperate to distract him, "You call that torture? That was pathetic! Get back over here!"

Greyback chuckled and looked back at Sirius for a moment, then to Remus.

"How rare. Here I have the both of you begging for my attention." He said with dark amusement in his voice.

Ignoring Sirius' continued insults he moved over to Remus, leaning over and bringing his lips to the boy's sensitive ear.

"You're going to do everything I tell you. Do you understand? If you resist me at all, Sirius will die. And I'll be sure that it's nice and slow." Greyback felt another jolt of arousal as Remus shivered in fear. "Are you going to behave?"

There was a long pause as Remus considered his situation. He could hear Sirius shouting behind the wall that was Greyback's body.

"Get away from him! Remus, don't listen to him, don't agree to anything! This piece of shit is trying to manipulate you!" His voice was cracking uncharacteristically.

Apparently tired of listening to Sirius' shouting, Greyback crossed the distance between the boys in two easy strides, bringing a fist down against Sirius's cheek.

"No!" Remus screamed as he heard the thud of fist against bone. "Stop it! I'll do what you say, just stop it!"

Remus was shaking, but knew that this was a small price to pay for Sirius' safety. He tried to ease his nerves by reminding himself that he had been at Greyback's mercy for years already. He would just have to put his heart back into that lonely, safe place where it was protected from everyone else. As Greyback's dark eyes moved to him, however, he wondered if he still had the power to do such a thing.

He was shocked that he was only just realizing how much Sirius had changed him. Jona had shown him what it felt like to be cared for, but Sirius had done something that Jona never could; He made him believe that he was _worth _caring for. But he also showed him what it meant to care about someone else, to want to do everything within his power to keep someone else safe. And so now he would lock his heart away again in order to save the boy that he loved.

"I'll do everything you say, Fenrir. I'm sorry."

Greyback recognized the submissive tone in the boy's voice and grinned as he turned his attention back to him. He now saw the obedient boy that he was used to, the irritating glow in his downcast eyes now gone, leaving them dull and brown and perfect. They were the eyes of someone who had given up the fight.

Spitting the blood from his split lip into the leaves, Sirius watched Greyback move back toward Remus. He could hear the sirens very clearly now, and was sure they were at the school. They had to stall Greyback for as long possible. He had faith that James' sharp intellect would lead him to where they were. That hope seemed to be dwindling, though, as Greyback cut the ropes binding Remus' hands and ordered him to stand. Remus did so without question.

"Now lets see if you were telling the truth." he said quietly, "Strip."

Remus felt his body stiffen as he received his orders, but even as he heard Sirius shout "Don't you dare!", he obeyed. He was ashamed of himself as he removed the clothing that James had let him borrow, but he ignored Sirius' continued shouting. He had made up his mind.

As he dropped the last piece of clothing to the forest floor he wanted to look over at Sirius, wanted to tell him that this was nothing to worry about, but knew that giving his attention to anyone but Greyback right now would infuriate the man, and so he opted to watch the leaves by the dog shelter instead. He saw the man's feet come into view and didn't have to look at his face to know that his teeth were bared in a wicked grin that promised humiliation and pain.

Greyback approached the now bared body, his fingers reaching out to touch his own name which was carved into the boys chest with a sort of reverence. Knowing that this boy was marked as his property in a way that anyone could see made him painfully hard, and the sound of Sirius protesting mere yards away seemed to only add fuel to fire of his lust. He'd always wanted to have an audience. He would hurt both of these boys in one fell swoop. With his fingers tracing the scars on his chest, he ducked his head to brush this tongue over Remus' lips. It was subtle, but he felt those lips tighten just slightly, and he recognized it as rebellion. He really did have a lot of retraining to do. A sharp pull to the hair at the back of his head, however, forced his mouth open in a gasp of pain.

"Keep your mouth open, Remus." He growled dangerously.

Remus only hesitated a moment before he did as he was told. He was left to stand there, his mouth open like an invitation, for a few humiliating moments before Greyback chuckled, obviously pleased, and slid his tongue into that waiting vestibule. The urge to gag was overpowering as Remus felt the slimy tongue exploring his mouth. This was not unusual for Greyback to do, but after feeling the warm, comforting, soul-searing experience of kissing Sirius, Remus found this to be cold and sticky and nauseating. They could both here Sirius thrashing against his bonds, the sound of dead leaves being crushed by his flailing legs making Remus feel filthy. He hated that there was no way to win in this situation. If he did not obey Fenrir, Sirius would be hurt, or even killed. But he knew the pain that he was causing Sirius by obeying. Maybe he was just being selfish. He knew that he could not bear to see Sirius tortured the way he had been.

Greyback could feel Remus' disgust, and it left him feeling painfully hard. He was no longer thinking of the sirens that could be heard so clearly from the other side of the trees that protected them, or about the plans he'd made to silence the boys. He was lost in the smell and taste of Remus, of his beloved pet. His mouth moved to the boy's neck, and he felt another jolt of pleasure as Remus tilted his head complaisantly, exposing his vulnerable places like a submissive dog. He knew that he would destroy this boy before giving him to anyone else.

As Remus turned his head, remaining docile, the way Fenrir wanted, he locked eyes with Sirius. He had never seen tears in his grey eyes before, and felt strangely flattered that the other boy's face was now wet with them for his sake.

_It's okay._ Remus mouthed silently at the other boy, who was either excellent at reading lips, or connected to Remus on some deeper level.

Sirius' eyes seemed to dry a little as he watched Remus' mouth more closely, his kiss swollen lips continuing to form silent words.

_The rope_, he mouthed, trying to motion with his eyes, _You can untie the rope!_

Sirius' eyes widened when he recalled that Remus was the one who had tied his wrists. He must have left some way for him to get loose. His attempts to communicate with Sirius were interrupted as Greyback's hand suddenly yanked him back into a deep kiss, guiding him by a fistful of hair.

Attempting to ignore the sight in front of him, Sirius' fingers tried desperately to work the knot loose, which he realized had probably been tightened by his struggling. While Remus remained docile, Greyback could sense the emotional barrier that he'd put up, and could feel the resistance in his body, which caused jealousy to rip through him.

Tearing his mouth from the boy's, he used his hold in the tawny hair to yank Remus nearly off his feet, dragging him toward the dog shelter before pushing him onto the flat roof.

"You little slut!" Greyback snarled at him, slapping him hard across the face, causing him to fall back to his elbow with a yelp. "I can practically taste that fucking Black boy in your god damned mouth! Have you let him fuck you yet?" He ground out through his teeth, yanking Remus' hair back again. "Have you sucked his dick? You're like a fucking dog in heat! Lean back! Spread your fucking legs!"

Remus could feel the bruises rising in every spot that Greyback pushed, yanked, and shoved, forcing him back onto the roof, one hand on the side of his head holding him down while the other pushed his legs apart. Greyback seemed to not notice how strangely quiet Sirius was being, the other boy now concentrating on the knot holding his wrists together.

"Keep them spread like that." Fenrir ordered as he let go of his head. "If you try to close them, Black dies."

"Yessir." Remus said quietly, knowing better than to fight him as he pulled his knife out again, wiping the rest of Sirius' blood on his bare leg.

Remus wished that he could still see Sirius from where he was laying back on the dog shelter, but Fenrir's broad chest was blocking his vision. He tensed as he felt the tip of the blade come to the sensitive skin of his inner thigh, to a place of smooth tissue that had not yet been defiled. His legs shook violently as he tried to hold them open, his head resting back on the shelter, his eyes closed tightly, not wanting to watch Greyback carve a new word into his already ravaged body. He could feel the man's anger as he pushed the blade deeper than he usually did when marking him. His fingers held onto the edge of the wood he laid on, his mouth clamped shut to muffle the whimpers of pain that he couldn't keep from escaping him.

Finally, Greyback seemed to be finished, leaning back some to admire his handiwork, cleaning the tip of his blade with a quick swipe of his tongue. Forcing the tip into the wood beside Remus so he would not have to hold onto it, he grabbed Remus by his hair again, his other hand taking his knee, pulling the two toward each other so that Remus could see what he'd done. Opening his teary eyes, Remus saw the word "Slut" bleeding on his thigh. He was still shaking and sweating from the pain, and he felt tears spill past his eyelashes, that word seeming to pain him more than the others Greyback had cut into him over the years.

"I hope this will be a reminder to you." Greyback said as he yanked his hair again, as though Remus were a dog and he was going to rub his nose in something. "You belong to me! And anything you did with that fucking boy makes you a slut! You remember that!"

"I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Fenrir." Remus said complaisantly, trying to cool the other man's anger.

"You better be sorry." Greyback snarled, letting go of his hair so that he had a free hand to start undoing his own trousers. "And you're about to get a lot sorrier!"

Remus felt himself sob a little, hating this part more than he ever hated being cut. He screwed his eyes shut as he heard the clinging of Greyback's belt. He could deal with the physical pain of the other things that Greyback did to him, but this always made him feel filthy and helpless. He felt like it damaged something inside of him, something attached to his soul. He was afraid that if the older man did it much more, he wouldn't have anything left to damage.

As angry as he was, Fenrir also found himself excruciatingly hard. Seeing Remus crying underneath him had erased everything from his mind, save for the promise of the sweet feel of his body. If he had been thinking clearly, however, he would have noticed the lack of complaints coming from the other boy, or he would have noticed the rustling of leaves coming from behind him. Instead, he was left helpless as a large stone was brought down over his head. Remus felt Greyback's body collapse on top of him, and over the man's shoulder he saw Sirius standing, a brick sized rock in his hand, staring at the blood saturating Greyback's hair.

Remus had never seen Sirius with such a wild look before. He was staring down at both of them, his eyes wide and hair tousled. He seemed shocked by what he'd done, but after a moment of hesitation he pushed Greyback's limp body off of Remus, pulling him up into a tight hug before Greyback's body even hit the leaf covered ground. The sob that shook Remus surprised even him as he wound his arms tight around Sirius' neck, trying to pull him as close to his body as possible.

"Shhh, Rem. It's alright. I've got you now." Sirius said quietly into Remus' ear, his arms wrapped around his back and waist.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, I'm so sorry!" Remus cried against his neck.

"Don't apologize, Rem." Sirius squeezed him again before pulling back. "Get up. We need to get you dressed and get back to the school."

Keeping an arm around Remus, Sirius helped him over to where he'd left his clothes. His wrists were worn raw from where he'd been struggling against the rope. He had been lucky that he was able to get the knot loosened after he'd pulled it so tight, but Remus had rather ingeniously managed a knot that from a distance looked legitimately strong, but had an end that, when pulled, would destroy the knot's integrity.

Looking back toward the still motionless body laying beside the dog shelter every few seconds, terrified that he would get back up again, Sirius helped Remus dress.

"Everything's gonna be fine now, Remus." He said gently as the other boy finished dressing.

"Stop right there!"

Remus and Sirius both looked over to the opening in the trees that lead to the school and saw three police officers, each pointing a flashlight in their direction, their free hands holding the hilt of what could be a gun or taser.

"Sirius Black and Remus Lupin?" The officer nearest them asked.

"Yes! That's us! Thank god you're here!" Sirius shouted as he took a few quick steps toward them.

"Stay where you are! You're both under arrest for arson." He said, pulling a pair of handcuffs from his belt.

"Wait, you don't understand! We were attacked! This man over here-" Sirius began again, taking another step toward them, his hands up pleadingly.

"I said stay where you are!" The first officer shouted again.

"Sir, we've got a body!" The officer at the left said, his flash light beam falling on Greyback's form.

"Put your hands up!" The head officer ordered again, coming toward them slowly, his flashlight still aimed at Sirius' face.

Sirius felt totally gob smacked. He knew that their situation was going to look bad, but he thought they would at least hear their side of the story. He and Remus both did as they were told, lifting their hands over their shoulders. Sirius tried not to lose his temper as he saw one of the officers grab Remus and roughly force his hands behind his back to cuff him. Sirius didn't fight, but his sore wrists protested angrily.

"Will you ease up? We aren't resisting!" Sirius said angrily.

"With the charges against you right now, young man, I think it's best you keep quiet." The lead officer said.

"Sir, this looks like the teacher that was missing. He's breathing, just unconscious." The last officer said as he made his way back to the others. "I'll call for paramedics."

Sirius and Remus were both handcuffed, and the lead officer was reading them their rights when they heard the sound of leaves rustling in Greyback's direction. Turning, they saw that he was pushing himself to stand, one hand holding his still bleeding head. Both of the boys tried to back away from him, fear starting to build up in them again. One of the officers went to Greyback's side, putting a hand on his shoulder, while the other held onto the boys by their shirts to keep them from going anywhere.

"Sir, you've been injured. You shouldn't move until the paramedics get here." The officer said, trying to get Greyback to sit back down.

"That man tried to kill me and rape Remus! You need to arrest him!" Sirius shouted, trying to pull himself out of the officer's grasp.

"Shut it, you two." The man said, giving them both a shake where he was holding onto their shirts.

Greyback was hobbling toward them now, the other officer holding onto him to keep him balanced. It was hard for Sirius to be sure if it was the way that Greyback was walking, or the looking in his eye, but Sirius seemed to know the man's intentions before he was able to succeed. When he saw his dead, black eyes move to Remus, Sirius thrust his body between them, feeling the blade that Greyback had retrieved from the roof of the shelter sink into his chest as a reward.

While Sirius seemed to fall in slow motion, the police officers seemed to move at an accelerated pace, all three of them working together to force Greyback onto the ground. Sirius felt his legs turn to liquid beneath him as his whole body broke out into a cold sweat. He felt himself slide down Remus' body and was vaguely aware of his name being screamed.

As his eyesight started to come back into focus he found himself on the ground, staring up at Remus who was bent over him, his arms still cuffed behind him and tears on his face, shouting hysterically. He could also vaguely hear the sound of the fight that was still going on between Greyback and the police officers, but it sounded very far away.

"Sirius! Sirius, hold on. You're fine, everything'll be fine, alright?" Remus was babbling.

"S'alright, Rem. C'lm down." Sirius said, not realizing his voice was slurring so much.

His chest was burning, and Sirius could see the handle of the knife sticking from his chest and was finding it increasingly hard to catch his breath. He heard Remus shouting for the police to call the paramedics, but they were still struggling with Greyback, who, even injured, was proving to be very problematic. Sirius opened his mouth to tell Remus that he was alright, not wanting to see him panicking the way he was, but was caught by a coughing fit as his body tried to get rid of the thick red blood that was beginning to take up his lung capacity. He felt some of the viscous stuff speckle his mouth and tried to bring in enough oxygen to keep the darkness that was blocking out his vision from taking over.

"Oh god! Sirius, please! You cant die!" Remus begged, bringing his face down to Sirius'. "You have to roll onto your side!" He said, trying to nudge him over, though with his hands cuffed behind his back he was left helpless. "Somebody _help him!_" He shouted again.

"Remus…" Sirius managed to croak out, his voice sounding gurgley from the blood in his throat and mouth. "Love you…"

"Sirius! Sirius Black, you open your god damned eyes!" Remus sobbed as he watched the grey orbs disappear under long black eyelashes.

Sirius was relieved as he finally let his eyes close, the struggle of keeping them open being too much for him. Distantly, he thought he heard a loud cracking noise that could have been a gunshot, but it was drown out by the sound of Remus, and for a moment, he thought he heard the other boy tell him that he loved him.

* * *

><p><strong>I know this ending may seem depressing, but please continue on to my epilogue! It just might cheer you up!<strong>


	16. Epilogue Part 1 of 2

**Hey everyone! Thanks for keeping your faith and sticking around for the Epilogue. This epilogue is going to be a two parter! So there's still a bit more to come!**

**I hope that this gives a good ending for the story, and I want to thank everyone who has kept with me from start to finish! Please let me know what you think! **

**Also, there is going to be a surprise at the end of the second part of this epilogue! So stay tuned!**

*****WARNINGS*****

**none to speak of! SHOCK!**

* * *

><p>ABOUT ONE YEAR LATER<p>

"I'm very impressed with how much progress you've made, Remus." Said the woman sitting on the other side of the desk.

Remus smiled his thanks. He'd been seeing Dr. Pomfrey, a psychologist, since Slughorn's Sanitarium for Troubled Boys had been closed down. He liked his new doctor very much, and had grown quite close to her in the past year. She could be stern, but she always had his recovery in mind, and thanks to her, he had been freed from institutions, and since his eighteenth birthday had been living like a normal person. It was something he had never thought would happen for him.

"I think it's exciting that you're going back to school, and I have to say I'm surprised you chose to take this class on campus." She said, looking at the list of classes that he had enrolled in at the local University. "I thought you would stick to online classes."

She knew that he still had trouble when placed in large groups of strangers, something that she had been working with him to remedy.

"Well I figured I could take one on campus this semester, and maybe two next semester. I wont be able to get work when I'm done if I cant get used to being around everyone else." He paused. "What?" He asked as Dr. Pomfrey smiled at him.

"Nothing. I just wouldn't have believed you'd say that if I'd been told you would six months ago. You've come so far, Remus. I'm really proud of you." She said, her smile seeming maternal.

"Well, you know that I couldn't have done it alone." He responded with a soft smile that he got sometimes when this subject was raised.

"Well I think these classes are a wonderful idea. You're a very smart boy. I'm sure you'll do well." She said, handing his papers back to him. "I'll see you again next week, dear."

After thanking her, Remus left the office. The weather was pleasant and in late spring. It was perfect walking weather, causing him to pass the bus stop, not wanting to deal with the crowds, and begin the reasonable trek back to his small apartment.

He was still amazed that he'd come so far since the shut down of Slughorn's. The police trial that followed that night was a very long one, lasting several months. It was, perhaps, made a bit easier by Greyback's inability to testify. That night, while the police had been trying to subdue him, he managed to stab one of the officers. They shot him ins elf defense. They had not aimed to kill, but after a few days in intensive care, Fenrir Greyback died. Remus could still vividly remember the phone call he'd received from the lawyer representing him. He hadn't thought the news would affect him so intensely, but before he could even hang up the phone he'd collapsed into tears. The relief and freedom that washed through his body had simply been too much for him. He was free, for what seemed like the first time in his life. He no longer had a dark shadow looming over him, threatening to steal any happiness he managed to get his thin finger around. It felt as though emotional levies inside of him had suddenly broken, his whole body flooded with pure, unadulterated joy.

Without Greyback at the trial to spin the truth, the court relied on hard evidence, which pointed unquestioningly at the now deceased man. Remus still remembered the shame he felt when photos had been taken of his scarred body, knowing that they would be given to the jury members. He hated the looks of sympathy they gave him during the next meeting in court. He felt as though he had a sign hung around his neck, labeling him as the weak, manipulated victim that he was. It made him feel foolish and stupid for letting Greyback chain him down for so long. The feelings of guilt and shame had been the first hurdle that Dr. Pomfrey had pushed him to jump. She had done a wonderful job.

Remus found that without Greyback playing him against himself, he was much better at coping than he'd expected. Just as Sirius had once told him, the 'fits' he suffered from were a total fabrication. Without Greyback around he had no fits. He no longer had blackouts; those strange spans of time where he couldn't recall his own actions. He was innately against violence. While he was still slow to warm up to strangers, felt anxious in large crowds, and suffered from the occasional nightmare, he was certain that he would be able to live his life in a fashion that could be considered normal.

James and Peter, who still kept in touch with Remus, were luckily not charged with arson, though they were both moved to different institutions. James was turning eighteen soon, and was certain that, without his parents' insistence that he be institutionalized, he'd be released. Peter, however, seemed to be less adjusted than James. They had been sent to different institutions, and apparently the knowledge to make incendiary devices did not serve the other boy well. According to letters Remus had received, Peter had thought his new institution was too quiet, and thought he'd stir up a good story with a "little boom" as he'd explained. The only gossip that went around the compound was that a young man had blown up the boy's bathroom. He was not likely to be released any time soon.

While the weather had been nice, Remus always forgot how long the walk back to his apartment was, and so was glad to finally be trudging up the stairs to his nondescript apartment. Fishing out his keys and opening his door he felt a familiar surge of disappointment that the smell of cut grass and turned soil was absent, leaving only the smell of kitchen cleaner and laundry detergent. He thought that it was a very lonely smell.

Locking the door behind him he made his way over to the book case, next to which he hung his small satchel. On a shelf at eye level was a photo. Remus took a moment to admire the picture that had been displayed at Sirius' funeral. It had been an older family photo, so it was terribly posed, but even that and the ugly sweater they'd made him wear could not dull the shining of his beautiful smile. Remus could see the glint of mischief in his mercurial eyes and thought that he must have been planning something wicked just as the photo was taken. His teeth were straight and dazzlingly white. Remus couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"So what do you think?"

Remus felt strong arms wrap around his waste as the smell of grass broke through the wall of cleaning products.

"I think it's a horrible photo of you." Remus said with a smile as he turned his head to look at the black haired boy who had settled his chin on his shoulder. "I don't know why you were so insistent on getting it from her."

"Are you kidding!" Sirius said with a grin. "Who wouldn't want to have the picture that was displayed at their _own _funeral?"

"You're so full of yourself." Remus teased, but couldn't stop the smile that was spread over his face.

"Aw. I love you too, Rem." Sirius teased before burring his face in Remus' neck, gnawing on the skin there and making Remus shriek with laughter.

It was still hard for Remus to believe sometimes. The events of that night were still so vivid, and he occasionally woke in a panic, thinking he'd find Sirius lying next to him with a knife sticking from his chest. But fate had been on their side. Just as Sirius had fainted, paramedics had arrived on the scene. The amount of blood that had been forced from Sirius' lungs had made Remus violently ill. He was rushed to the hospital for surgery to remove the blade and fix the damage to his lungs, though Remus was not permitted to accompany him due to his lack of relation.

It was nearly two months later when they were finally able to see each other again, as they both were required to appear in court. Walburga had been appalled and disgusted as she witnessed the two boys launch themselves at one another, but was relieved, at least, that they were not where the public could see the gross display of affection. Remus still remembered the feel of Sirius' lips planting kisses all over his face that day, the way his still sickly face lit up when they caught sight of each other. He had never felt more in love in his life. Well, except for maybe every day they spent together after that.

Walburga Black, of all people, had leapt to defend her son, using his condition, and the story in large, to garner publicity for their family. She had paid all of the lawyers fees and headed the attack against Slughorn's school. Thanks to her, the entire facility had been closed down. She even stooped so low as to hire her long-ostracized brother, Alphard, who had made a name for himself in law, to act at Remus' lawyer

After their victory, however, Sirius had told his mother that he out-right refused the arraigned marriage she was still trying to force onto him. He'd explained rather boldly, and with very colorful language, that he could not marry anyone while he was madly and desperately in love with Remus Lupin. Remus had been sitting in the room when he'd sad this, and it was another one of those moments that would be forever imprinted on his mind. Sirius was swiftly disinherited. Whether it was for her own sake, though, or for her only son's, she had struck a deal with him.

She paid for the apartment they lived in and supplied both Sirius and Remus with tuition money and a small living stipend. The only condition was that Sirius had to die. They held a funeral for him, saying that the injuries he sustained from the knife wound suffered complications and he died from infection. She had even been able to bribe a doctor into signing his death certificate and writing up a new birth certificate with a strategically placed silent 'e' at the end of Sirius' last name, forever separating him from his family. She had been able to hold his funeral, playing the victimized mother who had lost both of her children, and save the honor of the family. Sirius had never been happier.

"So." Sirius said suggestively, rubbing his hips against Remus' soft ass where he was holding himself flush against the other boy. "Any idea what today is?"

"Hmm. Let me think." Remus said, trying to ease his laughter, goose bumps still broken out over his skin from the ticklish mouthing that Sirius had been subjecting him to.

"Don't be like that." Sirius whined as he rubbed his nose into Remus' ear, causing the other boy to laugh again.

"I know. I'm only kidding." Remus said gently, turning in Sirius' arms so he could give him a long, soft kiss. "Happy disinheritance day."

They shared a laugh at the name they'd given their anniversary. It had been exactly one year since Sirius had been kicked out of him family home. But that also meant that it had been exactly one year since Sirius had declared his love for Remus so publicly, and it had been one year since Remus had told Sirius that he felt the same way.

Every day that Sirius spent with Remus was a day of exploration. He was always so pleased when he learned another one of Remus' quirks. He found that, as the chains that had been holding him down lifted one by one, he began to see who Remus was truly supposed to be, and what he found was surprising. Remus was a very funny young man. He loved to joke and tease and could match Sirius quip for quip, and often won the little battles of wit they engaged in. He also loved to laugh, and Sirius thought that maybe he was making up for lost time. On some occasions Sirius would get him laughing for so long that they would both worry he was going to suffocate himself. And when he was done laughing he always turned his eyes to Sirius, the expression soft and heavy with adoration. It was as though he were silently thanking him for giving him such a wonderful gift.

"I love you, Rem." Sirius said quietly against his lips, like he was muttering a prayer.

Remus felt his whole body heat up at the words, but it wasn't the hot fire he felt when they made love, but the soft, cozy warmth, like he was being wrapped up in an invisible blanket that was made of Sirius.

"Thank you, Sirius." Remus said softly, his fingers coming up to touch Sirius' cheeks.

He was thanking him for more than the words he spoke. He was thanking him for giving him his life back, for having faith in him, and being willing to give up everything to protect him.

"I love you too." He whispered as their lips came together in a celebration of their anniversary, their love for each other, and the long lives they had in front of them, made possible by Sirius' annoyingly persistent hunger for secrets.

* * *

><p><strong>This can serve as the end of the story for those who do not like to read explicit smut, as that is mostly what the second half of this epilogue is going to be! X3 <strong>

**So if you like that sort of thing, stick around, you might get to meet the bottom Remus that everyone was hoping for!**


	17. Epilogue Part 2 of 2

**Hey everyone! So here it is, the last update for this story. THANK YOU to everyone who had read this, and especially to those who have reviewed. I've learned so much from the feed back, and feel like this experience is making me a better writer. Please check out the author's notes at the bottom for a sneak peak at the next story I'll be doing!**

*****WARNING*****

**This chapter is really nothing but smut. Slightly lame and slow smut, but smut none-the-less. So, if you are under age or do not like explicit homosexual activities, then please do not read this.**

* * *

><p>"So I was thinking," Sirius began as he trailed his lips down Remus' neck, the other boy tilting his head back with a sigh. "Since it's a special occasion, we should do something to celebrate."<p>

"What'd you have in mind?" the brown haired boy asked, unable to keep the grin from his face.

"What do you think?" Sirius smiled against his neck, his hands snaking down to give his soft backside a squeeze.

Remus had noticed that, more and more, Sirius seemed to have a preoccupation with his ass. He was hesitant for a long time about focusing caresses in that area, given Remus' fear of bottoming, but slowly, Remus had found himself enjoying the feel of Sirius' fingers digging into the soft flesh, pulling their hips close together, nearly forcing Remus onto his toes. The feeling made his lungs suddenly empty, and made him instantly aroused.

"We do this all the time, Sirius." Remus said with a smile, though Sirius could hear the breathless quality his voice had.

"Well it'll be special tonight," He said, giving Remus that pull from where he was holding onto two soft handfuls of flesh that he knew left him eager for more, "because it's our anniversary. That automatically makes it special."

"Don't try too hard to be romantic, now." Remus said sarcastically, though Sirius could feel the reaction he had already stirred in him pressing against his thigh, and knew that he was just as aroused.

With a loud bark of laugher, Sirius used his grip on Remus' ass to pull him up over his shoulder. The smaller boy put up an obligatory protest, but wasn't trying very hard to get out of his lover's grasp. He liked how Sirius was bold and straightforward when it came to his attraction to the other boy. It made Remus, who admittedly needed regular reassurance, feel wanted and appreciated. After a trip down the hallway that consisted of flailing limbs and empty threats of retaliation, Sirius dropped Remus onto their shared bed.

Sirius had worried, for a while, about whether it was appropriate for him to be so bold or forceful when flirting with Remus. He'd been afraid that being too forceful would bring up bad memories that still woke Remus from his sleep sometimes. But as he tested him, little by little, he found that the other boy seemed to relish the attention. He could see it in his face now as he crawled slowly onto the bed. As he made his way over Remus' body he could see his golden eyes darken with arousal and saw a subtle shiver run up his spine.

It was embarrassing to admit, after what had been done to him by Greyback, but he loved when Sirius played predator. Sirius had continued to take the bottom roll in all of their lovemaking, but he only surrendered control when it came to that one crucial moment. Recently, though, Remus had wondering what sort of lover Sirius would be if left to continue the dominant role that seemed to suit his personality so well. The thought sent heat to his face and he heard a chuckle rumble in Sirius' chest when he saw the flood of color.

"Excited?" Sirius asked teasingly as he raised up to his knees, pulling his shirt over his head in the most graceful motion that Remus had ever seen.

Remus opened his mouth to answer, but all heard come out was a pathetic whimper of arousal. In the past yet they both had grown, beginning to leave their teenage bodies behind, developing into their bodies of adulthood. Sirius, however, seemed to have grown a little bit more. His chest had grown broader, his muscles more toned, though his addiction to doing pull ups on their bedroom doorframe might have been a factor. Remus often teased him about his addiction to working out, but he would never complain about the results. He felt his mouth water and couldn't stop his hands from reaching up to splay across his tight abs.

"I'll take that as a yes." Sirius said cockily as he tossed hi shirt aside before leaning down over Remus again. "Spread your legs." He whispered as he lowered himself over Remus, his mouth coming to his ear.

Remus did as he was told, letting his legs fall open so that Sirius could descend between them. Bowing his back down, Sirius brought the hard bulge of his arousal down against Remus' answering hardness and began undulating his whole body in a way that left them both moaning. The friction caused by the fabric of their jeans was almost too much as they both strained against their flies. They continued, their bodies rolling to meet each other, until they were panting between the open mouthed kisses they exchanged.

"Sirius, wait." Remus gasped after one particularly hard grinding thrust from the strong hips above him.

"What is it? You alright?" Sirius asked as he stilled immediately, his face moving to assess Remus' face..

Remus couldn't help but chuckle at the intense expression on Sirius' face. It was something that had always amazed him, and had helped to build the unshakable trust that he had in the other boy. It didn't matter how far along they were, how close to climax Sirius was, he would stop immediately if Remus so much as murmured a 'wait.' His control seemed inhuman at times. It was the fact that he trusted him so fully, that made that nagging thought return. If he truly trusted him, why had he not let him take the top role yet? He knew that Sirius wanted to, but would never press for it. he was too gentle for that, even if he didn't want to admit to it. Feeling that twinge of panic he got when thinking about it, he pushed the thought aside.

"I'm fine. It's just starting to hurt." He admitted, his cheeks heating up again. "I need to loosen my pants.

Sirius looked relieved and gave him a smile that made Remus throb hard against his zipper again. It always amazed him how Sirius could make him so hard with just a look.

"Is that all?" He teased, lifting himself to his knees again. "I'm sure I can help you with that problem."

Remus lifted his arms so Sirius could pull his shirt over his head for him. Many of his smaller scars had faded, but the larger ones still showed brightly against his naturally olive skin. As though it were ritual, Sirius leaned forward, kissing his way across Fenrir's name scarred in his chest, as though kissing it enough would erase it, and, at least in the emotional sense, it nearly had. Remus still avoided looking at himself in the mirror when bare-chested, but he no longer felt the surge of disgust and self loathing that he once had when Sirius saw him bare.

Without lifting his mouth from skin, Sirius made his way downward, pausing to flick his tongue into Remus' ticklish belly button. He loved the way the boy's stomach tensed when he teased the little dimple, and the way he could hear his breath hitch in his throat. Remus was shaking noticeably by the time Sirius' lips reached the band of his pants. With a quick flick of his thumb, the button was undone, and when Sirius began dragging the zipper over the sensitive bulge with his teeth, Remus moaned unabashedly.

"Shit, Sirius… fuck." He said articulately, though what he had meant to tell the other boy was that he never looked as sexy as he did when he was unzipping him with his teeth.

Sirius knew that this action got his lover every time, and he loved that he could make him descend into syntaxless jarbles of words. He grinned cockily up his body, loving the way he whimpered and squirmed his way out of his pants as Sirius tugged on them gently. His boxer briefs came off immediately after, the smaller teen kicking them off eagerly.

It made Sirius ache with need to see Remus tearing his own clothes off so eagerly, and he couldn't help but moan as he saw the other boy's pride resting hard against his belly, a little pearl of arousal already shining on the tip. His lips were drawn to it, and with a gasp from Remus he used them to gently smear the bead of precome around dark head of his cock. He felt him twitch against his lips as he did so, which made him all the more confused when Remus' cool fingers pulled his head up and away from him.

"Roll over a sec." Remus said in a way that made it very clear that he was extremely embarrassed, but feeling bold.

Sirius didn't argue, and turned over onto his back, never breaking eye contact as he watched his uncertain lover move over him. His fingers were shaking a little as they came to his waistband, where they struggled a little bit more than Sirius' fingers had. Sirius was curious. Remus usually let him take the lead up until the very last moment, and even then, Sirius often kept in control by riding his lover to the point of delirium, Remus only rolling them over and taken control just before his climax. He wondered what the other boy had planned as he hovered over his body.

Tawny hair tickled Sirius' chest as Remus laid himself on top of Sirius' body, his lips coming down on the scar that had once punctured his lungs. He kissed it and licked it for a few moments before moving his mouth over to the scar at his collarbone, giving it the same treatment. Sirius had once thought that Remus paid so much attention to his scars because he felt guilty or responsible for them. But Remus had explained to him once that he paid them so much attention because he loved them. He felt they were animate signs of Sirius love for, and devotion to, him. Since then, feeling Remus' mouth on them made Sirius burn with both arousal and overwhelming affection.

Feeling bold, still, Remus' mouth moved back down to where he'd unzipped Sirius' pants. Getting comfortable where he was laying between Sirius' legs he gave his pants a tug, working them down his hips just enough to give him access to what he wanted. Still feeling nervous he bought himself some time by bringing his lips and nose to the base of Sirius' cock, nuzzling it and planting a few kisses on the hot skin.

Sirius felt his heart almost stop as Remus' mouth descended on him. This was something that Remus hardly ever did, as he said it brought back a lot of bad memories. He'd tried it a few times in the past, but it often lead to him falling into tears, leaving Sirius to pick up the little pieces that he broke into. Sirius had never pressed for him to do anything he wasn't ready for. He didn't realize that his mouth was hanging open like a dead fish until Remus' eyes moved up his body to meet his, and he chuckled.

It was hard to explain what was drawing Remus' mouth to the hot flesh in front of him. He knew that Sirius would never force him to do it, and in the past he'd tried to push himself past the fear he had, knowing that it was unfair for Sirius to do all of the work, but somehow, this time was different. He could feel his mouth salivating. His jaw ached with want as he looked at the hard, perfect dick laying on a hard, perfect belly in front of him. It was like a meal laid out for him, and before he could feel nervous, a few shaking fingers had lifted the heavy flesh from Sirius' abs and his lips were wrapped tight around it.

"Remus, you don't have to force yourse- Fuck!" Sirius' sentence was cut off as his head hit the pillow beneath him, the tight heat around him making his brain turn to static.

After a small grin of victory, Remus realized that the world around him began to fade away, leaving only the sensations inside his mouth. He felt like a starving man suckling for nourishment, and was so focused that he didn't even hear the whimpering and moaning that escaped his throat. Sirius had propped himself up on an elbow, wanting watch his lover, and what he saw nearly pushed him over the edge. Remus was writhing between his legs, his body undulating against the mattress, slowly grinding his own arousal against the soft material of their comforter. It was the most beautiful and erotic thing that Sirius had ever seen.

There was no fear this time, only longing, and an intense, lusty _want_. As his own arousal pushed through the fog that had surrounded him, he shifted his hips and slid a hand between himself and the blankets, needing to relieve some of the pressure that had built up. Seeing Remus touch himself, even as he pushed his mouth down further onto Sirius' cock, the black haired teen couldn't stop the loud moan that escaped him, his fingers moving to Remus' cheeks to pull him off.

Remus seemed dazed as he was pulled away from the hot prick in his mouth. The surprise of it left his mouth open as he was pulled away, strings of warm saliva pulling between his lips and the twitching, throbbing cock that slapped back against Sirius' stomach. As he started to come back around he looked up at Sirius, confusion clouding the lust in his eyes. Sirius felt himself throb again as he saw the naked arousal expressed in his lover's features, his lips red and swollen, slick with precome

"You didn't like it?" Remus asked quietly, uncertainty beginning to taint the arousal in his eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous." Sirius said, slowly catching his breath as he guided Remus up his body so they were laying chest to chest, giving him the room to kick on his pants that were still around his thighs. "It was _too _good. I don't want to come yet."

As Remus opened his mouth to protest, to tell him that he had wanted to feel him come in his mouth, Sirius silenced him with a kiss. Sirius could feel that the body above him was tense, even as it was trying to settle down against his chest. He could feel a subtle shaking in Remus' limbs that was uncharacteristic to their normal love making. Finally, Sirius slowed the kiss, then pulled back to look at him. As soon as he saw his face, he knew that something was off kilter. The other boy was looking at Sirius' lips instead of his eyes, a sure sign that he was feeling nervous about something.

"What is it, Rem?" Sirius asked quietly, bringing a hand up to brush his bangs from his eyes. "I told you that you didn't have to do that if you didn't want." His thumb brushed over his still swollen lip for clarification.

"What? Sirius, no, I told you, I wanted to do that. I _really _wanted to do that." He said, his cheeks reddening as he spoke, his eyes finally coming up to meet Sirius', not wanting him to think that he was upset with him.

"Then what's the matter? You're shaking," He said, bringing his hands to his back to rub small circles. "and tense."

Sirius was shocked when Remus' face flared up brighter than he'd ever seen it. Even his ears were turning an adorable shade of pink.

"Well…" Remus began, having to look away from his lover's searching eyes again. "I was just thinking, what with it being a special occasion and everything…" He trailed off some, squirming on top of Sirius' hard body. "I mean, I thought that there wasn't any reason not to… since I trust you so much… and so I thought that, um…"

Remus trailed off again, his fingers rubbing back and forth over the scar at Sirius' shoulder. He hated himself for being so nervous, and found himself huffing in irritation with himself. All he wanted to do was scream out '_Sirius, I want you to fuck me!_' but instead he could only stutter and make an idiot of himself.

"Damn it," He tried again, hoping some frustration would help to force the words out, his brows pulled up in distress. "Sirius, I want you f-" his throat constricted again and cut him off "I want _you _to be on t- shit…" He finally muttered as he failed again, dropping his face to Sirius' chest, wanting to fall down a hole.

He felt a surge of humiliation as he heard Sirius chuckle, feeling his chest shake a little with the laughter.

"Remus Lupin." He said, the smile obvious in his voice, the tone reminiscent of someone scolding a child for doing something wrong, but somehow adorable.

Remus felt his face flush again, but also felt like slapping the smile off of Sirius' face, that is until he felt long fingers take his chin and guide his eyes up to meet those of his lover. The smile he saw was not teasing like he'd expected, it was beautifully serene, his eyes softer than he'd ever seen.

"Are you asking me to fuck you?" Sirius said quietly.

Somehow when Sirius said 'fuck' in that statement, it didn't sound crude or dirty. It sounded so intimate, like it would be the most natural and beautiful act in the world. Remus was glad that he and his lover seemed to still have moments of perfectly silent communication, and that through all of his pathetic attempts at explanation, Sirius had manage to get right to the heart of the message. Not only did he know what Remus was asking for, he knew the weight of what he was asking for. Remus nodded subtly, still too embarrassed to speak properly.

"Are you sure, though?" Sirius asked, his fingers trailing back and forth along his cheek, even as Remus felt the other man's cock pulse and grow impossibly hard at the proposition. "You know I love what we do already. I don't want you to fee obligated."

"Damn it, Sirius!" Remus said irritably, something that still happened when he became embarrassed. "I want you to do it, so just do it before I change my mind!"

Remus became even more flustered when Sirius just chuckled at his frustration, but before he could complain, Sirius' soft fingers were wrapping around the back of his neck and pulling him down into a kiss. Any argument that Remus had evaporated as Sirius began to guide him through a slow, deep kiss. He gave total control over to the black haired man beneath him, his body happily turning to liquid, molding itself to the dips and planes of Sirius' body. Releasing his neck, Sirius moved his hands down his back, loving the way it dipped at the base of his spine and then swelled up into the smooth, warm flesh of his ass. He tucked his fingers under the soft globes and gave them a squeeze for good measure, loving the way it made Remus moan happily into his mouth. Moving on to his thighs Sirius gave a gentle tug, spreading the boys legs apart so they fell to either side of Sirius' narrow hips, the new position pressing their cocks closer together and exposing Remus in a way that made him tremble slightly.

"If you want me to stop," Sirius said, breaking the kiss to trail his lips down his chin, "you know you just have to say so."

Remus just nodded, too nervous and aroused to speak, afraid that if he did he would sabotage himself yet again. He felt the urge to waggle his hips, both to try and hide his now embarrassingly exposed opening, and to urge Sirius to get on with it. He was glad that Sirius continued to distract him with his all consuming kisses while his hands traveled up and down his back and thighs, soothing the nervousness out of him.

Distantly, Remus heard the drawer to their bedside table as Sirius pulled out the lubricant, and he felt his heart start to race nervously, but instead of feeling cool, slick fingers at his opening he felt broad, warm hands take hold of his soft backside, squeezing and massaging the two globes, spreading them apart and then releasing them, only to do it again a moment later. Remus knew that Sirius was taking great pains to keep him comfortable, and he appreciated it, but every time he pulled his ass cheeks apart he felt a thrill of excitement rush through him, only to be disappointed when his hands moved away.

Finally, Remus broke away from the kiss, looking down at his thoughtful lover, their noses brushing affectionately.

"It's okay. I want you to do it." He said softly, his back bowing to press his ass into the air just a little, exposing himself more, and even though Sirius couldn't see it, he felt a surge of arousal shoot through him.

With practiced fingers, Sirius managed to open the small tube of lubricant, extract a dollop for his finger, and close it, all with a single hand. He kept his eyes locked on Remus' soft, golden orbs as his fingers finally slide down the cleft at the base of his spine, spreading the quickly warming gel over the tight ring of muscle. He felt Remus' body flinch a little, and saw his lashes flutter as he rubbed back and forth, wanting to let him acclimate to the feel of being touched in such and intimate place again. When he felt the smaller body over him begin to sink back down against his body, their lips brushing together again, he slowly began to push the very tip of his finger past the tight barrier.

Remus broke the kiss as a shiver ran up his spine, causing his back to bow as Sirius pushed further inside him.

"Alright?" Sirius murmured against his chin.

"Yeah." Was all that Remus breathed in response.

"Hey, look at me." Sirius said, gently guiding his face back down to his with his free hand.

Remus did as he was asked, not able to hide the expansion of his pupils as Sirius slowly started to fuck him with his finger. He licked his lips over and over as he concentrated on the foreign invader inside him, amazed at how it made his prick twitch against Sirius as his body began to slowly rock back against the long, elegant finger inside him.

"More?" Sirius asked teasingly, unable to keep himself from grinning as he watched Remus chew at his cushiony lip.

All Remus could do was nod, and his mouth fell open silently as he felt Sirius begin to push another finger inside of him. He could feel some minor discomfort this time, but the way was made easy by the lubricant, and soon he felt Sirius thrusting and spreading his fingers inside him slowly, and he couldn't stop the whimper that escaped him.

Sirius was trying to keep from coming too soon as he felt the tight, hot walls squeezing around his fingers. The way that Remus rolled his hips and whispered his name wasn't helping him much, either. Often, when they made love, it was fun and a bit wild, as Sirius liked to try and coax the aggression out of Remus that he knew he hid at times. But now, with the rolls reversed, everything was slow and meaningful and gentle. The small warbling sound that escaped Remus' throat as he pushed a third finger in with the others made Sirius groan deep in his chest. The way that Remus' eyebrows twitched almost continuously, going between worried, to nervous, to aroused over and over made Sirius want to roll him over and fuck him into the mattress, but he knew better and quickly reigned those thoughts in. Finally, Sirius knew that he had to continue, before he lost control and did something he'd regret.

"Are you ready?" He asked, his voice gravely with desire.

"Yes." Remus said breathlessly, "Sirius, I…" He seemed to struggle with the words again, but as Sirius brushed his fingers over his sweet spot he gasped the rest of the words out. "Fuck! I want you inside me. Hurry!"

Sirius moaned again and regrettably withdrew his fingers. Quickly, but thoughtfully, he maneuvered them so that they both rested comfortably on their sides, Sirius' chest pressed flush against Remus' scarred back. Propping a knee up he pulled Remus' leg over his own, hooking it there to keep his legs spread apart. Reaching between Remus' legs he guided his own cock to the other boy's now slick and open passage. He stilled himself a moment to collect his wits about him.

"Ready?" He breathed against the shell of Remus' ear.

With the eager nod as his answer, Sirius began the slow, but determined push inside the warm body, wrapping his arms around Remus' waist and chest, holding him tight as he continued the long slide home. Sirius could feel Remus' whole body trying to arch away from his chest, but his strong arms held him tight against his warm body, his mouth sucking at his ear, panting against it as he felt his tight walls wrapping around him. Remus was surprisingly silent during the whole process, though his mouth hung open wide, feeling that as Sirius' thick, hard cock pushed into him, it pushed the air out of his lungs, as though there was not enough room inside of him for both at once.

When Sirius finally felt himself come against the soft curve of Remus' ass, knowing he couldn't press in any further in their current position he stilled himself, his face pressed into the softness of Remus' neck. He held as still as he could, wanting his lover to adjust before they continued, but he couldn't keep his lips still.

"Fuck, Remus. Oh, Rem, I love you so much, you feel so good." He whispered over and over into the other boy's ear, babbling nonsensically at this point.

Finally, Remus seemed to be able to get a breath into his lungs, and his whole body quivered from the effort. He'd done it. He had Sirius inside of him, and the care that had been taken had left the experience mostly painless. There was a slight sting, and an unbelievable feeling of being stretched so wide, but he didn't feel that soul shattering pain that he'd felt in the past. Now he just felt hot and full and perfect.

A quiver had started in his limbs first, but quickly moved to his whole body, and soon he felt his hips pushing back against the searing heat that was filling him.

"Shit, Sirius… move." He begged quietly, gasping for air when he felt his lover comply.

Hooking an arm under Remus' spread leg he dug his toes into the mattress to give himself leverage as he started a slow but strong pace, his hips rolling gracefully with each thrust. His free hand wrapped around to press on Remus' chest, holding him tight against him. Sirius thought it was adorable how Remus let out a small gasped 'ah' sound with every thrust, each time the noise sounding more and more like a whimper.

"Oh, Remus…" Sirius started to murmur into the other boy's ear, the hand on his chest finding a nipple, delighting in the squeak that he got as he pinched it gently. "You're so beautiful… so sweet. Tell me what you want."

"Siri-uh… ah! Oh, h-harder… fuck me harder." Remus begged so prettily, his fingers moving back to dig into Sirius' hip, pulling at him in an attempt to get what he wants.

Sirius couldn't stop the growl in his chest as he felt his need spike and quickly gave Remus what he asked for. Leaning forward he pushed the smaller boy onto his stomach, quickly moving up to his knees, his hands pulling Remus' hips up with his. His legs were shaking badly, but Remus managed to get them propped up under his body, but as he was trying to push his upper body off of the bed he felt Sirius thrust hard inside of him and he surged forward, his cheek pressing into the blanket and his arms losing any hope of holding himself up. If he hadn't been moaning so loudly he might have felt embarrassed to have his ass stuck up so shamelessly in the air, but the feel of Sirius' long fingers wrapped around his hips, pulling him back in short snaps to meet his thrusts, left his mind wonderfully blank.

The view was wonderful; Remus' back bowed, his hands fisting the blankets, pulling them around his face to muffle the screams that were forced out of him as Sirius' thick cock rubbed ruthlessly across his prostate with each thrust. As he watched the long, scarred torso begin to undulate, to roll back against him, Sirius felt his breath forced from him. He wasn't going to last much longer.

Wrapping an arm around his torso he pulled the nearly convulsing body up against his chest again. Remus' eyes rolled up in his head as he felt his body weight push him down onto Sirius, the searingly hot head of his dick pressing further inside him, brushing places that had never been touched. Bringing a hand up to Remus' cheek, Sirius' tongue darted into his open, gasping mouth, as his other hand came around to squeeze the heavy shaft in Remus' lap, making the other boy's voice catch as he tried to cry out.

"I want you to come for me, Rem." Sirius said as his mouth moved over to suck at his earlobe. "I love you."

As though he had spoken magic words, Sirius felt Remus clamp down around him, his back arching his head digging into Sirius' shoulder, and after a few sharp jerks he nearly screamed as he came, thick ribbons making a perfect arc onto the wrinkled blanket. The site of Remus in the throes of his orgasm were too much, and, paired with the feel of his already tight body pulsing around him, Sirius came harder than he thought he ever had. He was vaguely aware of the stream of obscenities that fell from his lips as he pressed his face into Remus' quivering neck, emptying himself inside his lover.

It took several minutes for them both to catch their breath, though Sirius had managed to keep them upright, Remus draped back against the firm chest supporting him, his head draped over his shoulder. As soon as Sirius gained enough of his wits he began laying kisses all over Remus' neck and shoulder, and eventually lift the still recovering body so that he could slide out. Remus shook as he felt Sirius pull out of him, a shiver running up his spine as he felt thick come leak down the curve of his cheek. He was also unable to stop the whimper that escaped him as Sirius slide a few fingers over the now slick, open hole, pushing them inside for a few gentle thrusts.

"Mmm… it's so soft now." Sirius said quietly as he continued to explore the open remains of their love making.

"I love you." Is all that Remus could think to say.

Turning his head, Remus met his lover in an open mouthed kiss, both of them unwilling to stop as Sirius continued to tease his opening, loving that he finally had access to such an intimate place. Eventually, with both of them still shaking from the exertion, they maneuvered into the bed properly, curled up together under the warm blankets.

"Thank you, Remus." Sirius finally whispered.

Remus just shook his head, his face pressed against Sirius' collarbone. The silence began to make Sirius nervous.

"Are you sure you're alright though? I wasn't too rough, was I?" He asked cautiously.

"You weren't…" Remus said.

Sirius felt his heart still for a moment. He could hear it in Remus' voice. He could tell that something was bothering him, that he wanted to say something but was too afraid to. He started chastising himself, mentally flogging himself for not taking things more gently.

"Remus, look at me. What is it?" He pushed himself up to his elbow, forcing Remus back so he could look him in the face.

He had been right. Now seeing his face, Sirius recognized the expression of guilt that the other boy wore. He thought he must feel guilty for enjoying what they'd done? Or was it that he was feeling guilty, and didn't want to tell Sirius that he hated it, thinking it would hurt his feelings?

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked again, his heart stilling as he waited for the answer.

"Well…" Remus began and Sirius felt himself move to the edge of his mental seat. "After that…" Remus continued.

The pauses were killing Sirius, who wasn't breathing any more.

"After that, I don't know if I can be on top any more." He finally finished, all in one breath.

Sirius stared at him a moment before suddenly bursting into waves of relieved laughter. He would give this boy anything he wanted, and he was glad that Remus had made that confession, so that he wouldn't have to make his. After that… he never wanted to change positions either.

"Don't worry love. We'll draw straws or something."

THE END

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks again to everyone who has read this story! Sorry if the smut was drawn out or lame, but lets get on to the sneak peak of my new story!<strong>

**Title: **Lily's Plan

**Genre: **Romance/Comedy

**Rating: **M

**Universe: **Marauders Period, Wizarding World.

**Summary:** Remus has had a secret crush on his fellow marauder, Sirius, for a very long time. When Lily finally catches on, she decides to do whatever she can to help Remus get what he wants. After all, she has plan. And her plans never fail.

**Sneak Peak:**

"Well take a look at the kinds of girls he likes." Lily said with a wave of her hand, as though motioning to every single student in the crowded corridor. "They're little, dainty, helpless. He's the knight in shining armor type. He needs a damsel in distress!"

"Exactly. Lily, I'm not dainty, I'm definitely not a damsel, and I'm not little. Hell, I'm an inch taller than he is!" Remus argued, running a his fingers through the waves of his thick hair, trying desperately to get his bangs out of his eyes.

He hiked his back up higher on his shoulder as he pushed his way through the crowds, wanting to just get on to his transfigurations class, as it would force Lily to leave him be.

"Well just because you aren't a damsel doesn't mean you can't be in distress." She said, her green eyes glinting with a kind of mischievousness that he thought was confined to the marauders. "He needs helplessness."

"But I'm _not _helpless." Remus pointed out.

"Maybe not. But we can _make _you helpless." Lily suggested.

She stopped when she saw that Remus' attention was lost. Following his intense gaze she saw Sirius coming their direction from the opposite end of the corridor. With the way that Remus was staring, she was amazed that no one else had noticed the feelings he had been hiding. As Sirius caught sight of them as well, he smiled and she saw Remus' face light up without shame and she couldn't help but roll her eyes. She had to do something to stop the torture that Remus was putting himself through.

"Don't worry, Remus. I have a plan." She said and quite suddenly jammed her foot in front of his, causing the love struck boy to go tumbling forward.

With a rather embarrassing shriek, Remus flew forward, certain that he was going to land face first against the stone floor, but instead found his cheek resting on the hard surface of Sirius' chest, strong arms wrapped tightly around him, and the smell of his best friend filling his nose.

_Maybe she _does_ have a plan._ Remus thought to himself, his cheek heating up.


End file.
